Little Jinnie🌙|| Jin-Centric

Chapter 1:Secret Depression

Jin's POV

Sweat dripped down my face as I continued to dance the same steps of the Choreography in our new songs for the next Comeback promotion of the New Album. I've been dancing for who knows how long trying to perfect the dance but ended up making a mistake again.I decided to take a break and sat down taking some water as i feel exhausted and also wipe my sweat with the towel beside me.

It's been a stressful day for me and also for the others, they already finished writing their own song and fortunately made it to the Album. As for me, I just got to finish writing the melody part , and hopefully it gets approved by the producers— enough to make it into the album. With that, I will be able to practice more to perfect our dance choreography and to prevent myself from making mistakes while performing on stage.

Have you ever heard the word "Secret Depression"? It is when you feel down and tired but you're pretending to be fine and positive. Like you're happy,fine and positive but it is just a facade to hide your negative feeling and your darkest side. Because that is how I've been feeling lately.

Pulling out a fake smile to hide that I am tired and upset, hiding all the pain away so I won't look weak and exhausted.I felt sorry for the other members because I felt that I was only dragging the group down due to the lack of my skills when it comes to dancing. If only I was born as talented as Jungkook, as positive as Hoseok , as hardworking as Yoongi, as full of charms as Jimin and Taehyung. And if only I was responsible enough to be like Namjoon maybe..just maybe I would be able to give the fans the quality of performance they deserved.

TING!

With the sound of the notification my thoughts got disrupted and I took my phone from my pocket and stared at time .

Saturday

4:42 AM

"Oh Shit", I whispered as I collected my things and hurriedly left the practice room but not forgetting to lock the door and turn the lights off. I didn't know that I would spend that much time in the practice room. Last time I checked my phone it was still 10 PM. I still have an hour to sleep. I open the message I got from Yoongi and reply to his text

Yoongi-chi🐱:

Hyung, where are you?

Don't tell me you stayed there again,did you?

You:

Sorry,will you pick me up?

Yoongi's POV

I suddenly woke up from my deep sleep and I checked my phone to see the time '4:40 AM'.Strangely enough I woke up much earlier than usual. So I stood up to get some water, but I noticed Jin hyung wasn't in his bed. The bed looks the same as I remembered when I went to sleep and it still seems that he hasn't got home yet since last night. Confused, I quickly texted him.

While texting him, I took a glass from the cabinet and poured some cold water and stared at my phone, waiting for Hyung to reply. When I gulped down the water ,my phone lit up. I took my jacket and the car key while replying to Jinnie-hyung.

Seokjin hyung:

Sorry,will you pick me up?

You:

Ok. I'll be there in a few minutes

Time skip

When I arrived I saw Jinnie-hyung outside the building,leaning at the company entrance. He seems to be lost in his own thoughts as he didn't notice the car parked in front of him .He's been weird lately, he barely eats, that is why he became so skinny and he looks tired all the time and I know that he is sleep deprived. His dark circle and eye bags are the evidence of that. One thing is that I noticed his smile doesn't reach his eyes anymore, it looks fake and forced; and when we talk he only nods and or when he replies it is only 5-7 words.

Which makes me and the others worried.

"Hyung!", I called and when he finally noticed me he smiled and started to walk inside the car,. sitting beside me.

"I told you to stop staying late practicing right? You always work yourself too hard, hyung.." I spoke while driving us back home. I glanced at him only seeing his head down and hearing him muttering a soft 'sorry' and while crying? Worried, I quickly parked the car at the side and turned at him, patting his back awkwardly.

"Hyung what's wrong?" I was worried that I did or said something wrong that made him cry. Is it because of what I said?

"No.." He softly answered my question. Did I say that out loud? I tilt my head slightly wondering what is bothering him.

"Then why are you crying?Something is bothering you?" He didn't respond and only cried quietly beside me.

"You know you can tell me everything hyung, you always listen to me and give me advice. You help me whenever I have problems so let me help you this time hyung".

Back when I got depressed and upset, he would come to me,lock ourselves in our room and talk about how I feel everyday and how I get scared whenever negative thoughts get in my mind. He always comforts and supports me when I feel uncomfortable and when I feel weak.

Actually even if he just sat beside me and did nothing, knowing he was there makes me calm. That way I can overcome those hard times and be free from depression,and thanks to that I am able to talk with the other members about what I have been feeling without being anxious. I'm always thankful to him. He is so precious to me. When there is misunderstanding in our group , he never stays mad for a long time. If he is, it will only be 5~10 minutes and it will fade. He is selfless and soft hearted. That is why I will always do my best to protect him.

"I have been feeling down these past 2 months, and I don't know the reason why." Jin hyung sobs as I pull him into a tight hug trying to calm him down. I can sense that he knows why and what is the reason. I lied like that before.

"I know you know,hyung. Don't keep it to yourself..." I whisper to his ear, calming him down.

My heart aches seeing him like this,"You have me , you have the other members. You can tell us everything".

"I'm so-sorry.." He repeatedly said while I patted his back.

"It's okay, you did nothing wrong" , kissing his head and continuing to pat his back gently.

We stayed like that for more than I think 15 minutes,when I only heard his soft snore. I let go of the hug and settled him on his seat, fixing the seat belt and started to drive back home.

[EDITED]