S.H.H.A.

Masked Face

The crashing of waves below us sent up a thick mist of water droplets, sprinkling on my worn out jeans and faded white T-shirt. My legs hung over the water as I sat beside my mentor. Her palms gripped the damp rock beneath us while mines crossed over my chest to accompany my disappointed expression.

Although at the time I hadn't wanted to be there, now I wanted nothing more than to suck in every bit of memory my subconscious threw at me. From the salty breeze that tossed her long black hair into a messy bird's nest to her hickory eyes that gazed over the rolling waves as if searching for something in the distance.

Her thick black jeans with more pockets than she had things to put in them were soaked up to her knees, and water dripped off her army boots into the waves below. She didn't seem to mind or even noticed the salty water creeping down her tan arms.

I, on the other hand, wasn't as unnoticing of the trails of salt making their way down my skin and irritating my eyes. Trying to catch her attention, I childishly swung my legs back and forth, sending her a pointed look.

What felt like forever to the past me felt like less than a second before she turned back around to face me, her eyes still seeming to look beyond rather than at me. In a low, gentle voice, unlike her normal brusk or irritated one, she said just above the crashing of waves, "Maxima's got a talent for looking in the oddest of places, don't you think?"

"Yeah, she's a real nut case sometimes isn't she? Choosing me of all cats," I wanted to say, but my younger self had different ideas. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess it means that nothing slips by her eye," replied Boss with a shrug. "With all the options, it's no wonder we always end up with wackos like you. She hasn't chosen wrong yet."

"Hey!" Shouted the younger me with my arms crossed. I looked away from her with my chin held high, "Maxima chose me 'cause I'm strong, and brave, and kind. I'm not a wacko. Plus, doesn't she always choose 'the best' choice? That means I'm the best."

"You were certainly the most prideful choice," replied Boss, her eyebrows raised at my behavior and her voice lined with irritation. However, her voice flipped back when she added, "Being a wacko and being the best choice aren't mutually exclusive."

I turned towards the ocean. "Then explain why I haven't even been accepted by Maxima yet. Why I'm still wearing a cape and playing pretend," I wanted desperately to ask her, but no words left my mouth. "Explain why I don't even have a teacher anymore. Why you're gone."

As if understanding what I had said, Boss gave me a sympathetic smile that I didn't remember from my memory. "I don't need your sympathy. What I need are answers," I pleaded in my head, hoping that she truly could hear me.

Her smile remained as the scene began to swirl. All the colors of the black night sky, silver stars, grey rocks and her brown eyes blended together. Her image vanished as quickly as she had left me the first time. Gone forever.

My new surrounding sprung forth from the blended colors. The silver turned into white walls on either side of me, and my feet landed on the cold grey floor. The air smelt of chemicals that had been used to clean the pristine room. I recognized the hallway immediately.

I had been following a brown cat with two patches of black tabby stripes, one on her head and one on her hip. Excitement bubbled up in the younger me's chest while I skipped my white paws, that had yet to gain the orange and black markings, across the concrete floor. Other, less pleasant emotions bubbled up in the older me's chest as my paws moved without my consent.

The younger me had always loved going out on missions with the gang. Boss, Mouse, Daisy, Jade, and of course my partners in crime, Ilene and Pudding. The me I was now would also have loved to go out with them another time more than anything. Unfortunately, that particular mission I never wanted to go on again.