"I knew that I should have followed him, I shouldn't have let him go... then he'd still be here," Johnny murmured, breaking the silence. Out of everyone, Johnny seemed to have taken Zacky's death the hardest. He couldn't believe it. Thoughts were running through his mind; ones that he couldn't stop. Images of Zacky's mutilated body conjoined in with Riley and Evelyn. It was like a broken record player, stuck on a loop. Clutching onto Jimmy, Johnny's eyes were clenched shut in an effort to block out the horrific thoughts. It was something that he couldn't help.
"Don't be ridiculous, babe. There was nothing that you could have possibly done to stop that. If you had of followed him, it would have been you next." Jimmy reassured Johnny, speaking softly as his hand ran through his hair as he pressed kisses to the top of his head. "I love you too much to even think that."
"We just sat there and let him go," Johnny mumbled, unable to process much of what was going on around him. Jimmy only hummed uncertainly and hugged his boyfriend closer. Matt and Brian were rooted to where they both stood; masks of identical shock were in place. With Zacky gone, anyone could be next at any time.
Jimmy continued to console Johnny, looking up at the couple over the top of his head. "From here on in, we're all sticking together. No going off for a late night quickie, no nothing. Matt and I will bury Zacky in the morning, until then, we're sitting in the middle of the room with any opening blocked; all windows, doors, anything. She won't get us if we're one unit." Jimmy seemed to be pleased with himself, a look of pride was mixed in with the grief expression.
The others nodded solemnly and begun to move the couches and tables in front of the door, making sure that they were locked before moving onto the windows. Once they were all secure, the gang moved upstairs and did the same. Their things and the mattresses were collected from the lounge room and bought into one of the bedrooms in the hopes of deterring the woman from getting them all.
Whimpering and sobbing in his sleep, Johnny had seemed to be the only one who Zacky's death has affected the most, the only one to have nightmares as it would seem. Waking up in a rush, his clothes stuck to him due to the sweat that had accumulated. Shaking Jimmy gently awake, he told him what had happened in his mind, telling the older man of his fears and predictions.
Jimmy made sure that the others weren't roused as he quietly undressed Johnny, getting rid of the filthy clothes in favour of clean, dry ones. "Babe, nothing will harm you, promise. I'll make sure of it," he murmured, gathering the shaking man into his arms. Jimmy wasn't sure that he could defend her off, but he'd much rather have her get him than Johnny.
* * *
They sat around the kitchen table, sobriety clouding their expression, it was quiet almost too quiet- but even Jimmy was in that mourning stage. No one wanted to voice what'll happen next, all too willing to just sit in silence. The sugar was passed silently from one person to the next, the still boiling kettle was sat in the middle of the table, untouched knowing that the state that their sanity's in, someone would burn themselves. Zacky was buried on the other side of Riley, flowers scattered over the disturbed soil.
Matt opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, not wanting to speak. Instead, he leant heavily onto Brian's side, watching the raven haired man spread the butter on his toast meticulously almost OCD like.
"I need a shower," Brian spoke in between mouthfuls, not looking up from his plate, ripping pieces of toast off to pop into his mouth. "After we're done here, can you all supervise me?"
Rolling his eyes, Jimmy quickly drunk his coffee and stole a bit of toast from Brian's plate, "Whatever you say, bud." He stood and crossed the room to the sink, dumping them into there. "But, don't expect us to soap up your cock, that's Matt's job." That all too familiar cocky smirk was in place, teasing and taunting.
Matt and Brian both scoffed and dumped their own plates into the sink, keeping as close as possible. "Na, wouldn't want to have the angry dwarf after me." Brian joked, taking Matt's large hand in his own, the group congregating upstairs to the bathroom. Double checking that the windows were bolted before Matt and Brian stripped, the unnecessary rule that they all had to remain as a group meant that Johnny and Jimmy had to sit on the tiled floor on the opposite end of the bathroom- Johnny's paranoia only encouraging it.
Nose upturned in disgust, Jimmy dragged Johnny up onto his lap gently, arms wrapped firm around his slender waist, "Us next?" Jimmy queried softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles into the younger man's back.
Johnny nodded slowly and pressed a kiss to Jimmy's forehead, "Absolutely."
The couples switched once Brian and Matt were fully dressed in the sanctuary that the shower provided.
Johnny and Jimmy were exchanging quiet and soapy handjobs as Matt leant up against the wall, running his fingers through Brian's hair, singing a song to him.
"Once this is all over, will we be still together?" Brian asked warily, looking up at Matt as his hand ran over denim-clad thighs. He didn't want to think what would happen if they weren't, he'd only just gotten Matt back and he really wasn't ready to give him up yet.
Matt looked down, seeing the hesitation swirling in the depths of Brian's warm mocha eyes. He smoothed his hand over the stubbled cheek, running his thumb along the juncture of the angled cheekbone. "Of course, babe, nothing can pull us apart now."
