Without You [KongpobArthit 18+]

-04- 🖤 On My Mind

"On the verge of almost bleeding you out. Are we too wounded now to ever come down?. Oh, how I long for us to find common ground. I got nothing but you on my mind. I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes."
~Lewis Capaldi, 'Grace'

~~~

*Kongpob's POV*

"Do you want to come in?" I ask Arthit, and my stomach instantly twists. Whether it's with nerves or regret, I'm not sure. All I know is that the idea of sending him away right now hurts a lot more. After finally seeing him tonight, it's too painful to let go again.

Arthit nods once, his porcelain cheeks turning pink. I step aside, allowing him to timidly enter my apartment. He looks around the living room as his lips twitch up in a secrete smile. I know exactly why. Even though it's been two years since I moved out and got my own apartment, I designed my living room to look like the one Arthit and I shared.

It made coming home hurt less, if I came home to the one I shared with my boyfriend. Well, it hurt less initially. Because once the wave of remembrance washed over me, the wound was reopened. Call me a masochist, but that sliver of time where it felt like I was still with Arthit was completely worth all the pain that followed.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I ask politely. Arthit blinks before nodding slowly, and I head into the kitchen. I quickly pour our drinks before handing Arthit his glass. His face turns an even brighter shade of pink that matches the color of his drink.

Pink milk.

"T-Thank you," he stammers. Bringing the straw to his lips, he takes a few small gulps of his pink milk. My eyes focus on the way his lips wrap around the straw, and I have to shake my head to clear the dirty thoughts out of my head.

I might need something stronger than milk.

Heading back into the kitchen, I pull out a few beers. Arthit raises a brow at me as I pop the tops off the beers, and hold one out to him. He sighs, setting his milk down on the kitchen counter and taking the beer. We migrate into the living room, sitting on the couch in an awkward silence as we nurse our drinks.

"Do you remember..." Arthit breaks the silence, "when Bright used to let us sample the new drinks from his bar, and we ended up sneaking a bunch of them home?"

I laugh, my shoulders relaxing. "He never found out, did he?" I ask. Arthit shakes his head, making me laugh harder as I recall that night.

Bright was celebrating the anniversary of his bar by inviting our friends to try out the new cocktails he added to the menu. That was one of the last times our entire group hung out together, before Arthit and I split up. I've seen his friends since then, but only rarely and never when Arthit was around. I knew that if I saw him, my resolve would crumble and I would beg for him back.

After Bright had gotten drunk from trying too many cocktails, Arthit and I managed to sneak some of the drinks home with us. It was one of the rare occasions where Arthit let his guard down in public, laughing with me the entire way home.

We had guzzled the drinks throughout the night, slowly becoming more and more intoxicated. Although the rest of the night remains a drunken blur, I do know we went through quite a few condoms that night. Well, partly because we were drunk off our asses and kept messing up putting the condoms on, and ended up wasting a bunch of them.

Still, the love bites that littered Arthit's chest and thighs were enough to clue me in on what happened the night before.

My pants grow tight just thinking about it, and I clear my throat as a blush rises to my cheeks.

I can't think about Arthit that way. Not anymore. I'm the one that chose to let him go, and now...

'Don't you know how popular our Arthit is? He could only hold them back for so long before finally giving in!'

I wince as Bright's voice echos in my mind, and I take large gulps of my drink. My stomach twists as I think about someone else getting to hold Arthit the way I have. Leaving hickeys on his smooth skin, in places that are hidden from the rest of the world.

"Kong?" Arthit calls out, snapping me out of my jealous daze. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Arthit," I lie cooly, grabbing another beer. Arthit's eyes follow my movements and I gulp down my second drink, already feeling my head getting lighter as a buzz sets in. After finishing off that bottle, I reach for a third, but Arthit snatches it out of my hand.

"You shouldn't drink so much," Arthit reprimands me. "It's irresponsible."

"It doesn't concern you," I snap, and Arthit winces. Pain flits in his dark eyes, causing a deep ache to arise in my chest.

"I should go," he murmurs, standing up from the couch.

"No, wait!" I panic, grabbing his wrist. My hand tingles at the contact with his skin, and I resist the urge to explore the rest of his body. "I'm sorry. Don't go."

Arthit studies me, his cheeks flushing pink. It used to make me melt whenever Arthit blushed like that. He could be so cute without even realizing it. If I ever told him how adorable he was, he would probably smack me. Even if he blushed while doing so.

Fuck, who the hell am I kidding? I still melt whenever Arthit blushes.

I realize that I'm still holding onto Arthit's wrist, and I quickly let go. My eyes fall to my lap bashfully as I try to come up with an excuse to make him stay.

"Look, Arthit—"

Before I can finish that sentence, Arthit dips down and covers my mouth with his. My eyes widen in surprise, as does his. The blood rushes to my cheeks when Arthit quickly breaks the kiss.

"I-I'm sorry," Arthit whispers. "I don't know what came over me, I just—"

Cupping his cheeks, I pull him back down to me. Our lips meet once more, and I groan at the familiar feeling of his soft lips. Arthit freezes for a moment, giving me a chance to pull him into my lap. I wrap my arms around his waist, smiling against his lips when I feel him beginning to kiss me back.

~~~

😏

Sorry this update took FOREVER (four days but whatever lmao). I've been super focused on my other series

Thoughts??

See you next time!
-Gumbie