It isn't possible to love and part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you. I know by experience that the poets are right: love is eternal. E.M. Forster, A Room with a View
Note: hello, again! Thanks for reading this and for you kind comments! Due to lack of time, it may take me a week to come back with a new chapter but I promise I'll make it a longer one! Görüşürüz!
Ömer
Pregnant.
She was pregnant.
Ömer put down her last letter for him. Why didn't she try harder to contact him? Well, how could she have, when he made it borderline impossible for her.
He was feeling a shortness of breath again, he couldn't fill his lungs of air. He read her letters what it felt like a billion times now. There are few things worse than the sensation that you can never have time back. There's no making up for some absences. He could not believe the reality of his situation. He looked out the window to see the sun was beginning to come up. He didn't get any sleep.
The image of Defne holding their son was burned on his head.
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He could not sleep. He felt restless. After he left the street of Defne's house, he sat silently in the car beside Sükru and thought it was better to think before knocking on her door demanding explanations. He was 100% sure he'd end up saying the wrong thing.
What the hell was he going to do?
He looked at the letters again. He could see by the dates that she had clearly given up trying to contact him. He couldn't even imagine everything she went through by herself. Fucking hell. He threw his phone in the river on purpose during a drunken night. He wanted to make it as hard as possible for people who knew him to find him. Well, mission accomplished.
Every time he saw one of her letters he was always amazed at why she was going to all the trouble of finding him. He really thought highly of himself. He couldn't have been more wrong.
He came back to Istambul in an almost hopeful frame of mind, even if he didn't let himself think of the prospect that she could still be single, that she still thought of him. Now he just didn't know anything about anything.
Shit. What did he even know about being a father? He needed a solid plan. He had so many questions. He had to talk to her. It wasn't like he was going to get any more sleep at this point.
He heard a small sound coming out of his alarm clock.
5 a.m. Yup. Might as well go to the gym.
At least he could try and exhaust himself enough that he wasn't going to yell at her. He couldn't yell at her. She did everything she could. Even if she didn't, she must have had her reasons. He wasn't going to question her motives. He wouldn't, but to say he wasn't expecting this was the biggest understatement of the year.
