A Sort Of Homecoming

Chapter 4

Have you ever been so confused about your life and where it might be taking you, that you're not even sure of what to do at all? These past few days it has felt as if time has stopped, yet everyone around me is still going on about their lives and I'm stuck in place. Will is alive, David is still waiting for me to talk to him about whatever is going on between us, Chris is worried about me, my dad is somewhere in a different country, and I'm just here. I honestly don't even know how to put it other than that.

What do you do when the guy you thought you lost is now back in your life but there's someone who means the world to you and is becoming distant because of this other person? How do you choose to deal with the situation at hand? How do you figure out what to choose and, more importantly, who to choose?

I laid in bed motionless, detached from the world, while Chris sat on my bed trying to figure out what to do for the day. "Come on R." She said. "Let's get out of the house. Let's go find something fun to do. It'll help you get your mind off of things."

I didn't say anything. Maybe if I disappeared from the world everyone would be happy then. Too bad I still have two months before I go to college. Nobody would have to deal with me then.

"That's it." Chris said taking my hand and pulling me toward the edge of the bed. "I'm so over you feeling sorry for yourself and thinking everything is your fault. Get up now." She demanded. "Savanna is having a party tonight and we are going. You waisted half of the day just laying here. You're going to dress up, look bad ass, and go to this party with me."

I sat on the edge of the bed and just stared at her. I knew she was just trying to help but I really didn't think a party is the best thing for me at the moment. Especially in my current emotional state. But I did what she said and got up from my bed and walked over to my closet where she stood going through my clothes.

"You're going to have fun tonight. I will make sure of that." Chris said smiling as she pulled out a short black form fitting dress. She looked at me and smiled.

I could see how much this means to her. I know how much she wants me to feel better. I know I haven't smiled in a while. So what's the worst thing that could happen tonight?

We spent a couple hours getting ready and made our way out the door about eight o'clock. She was excited and deep down I was happy to see her this way. Even though it was hard to be happy myself it makes me grateful that my friends could find the happiness they deserved.

On the car ride over it was quiet at first, but it didn't take long for Chris to start a conversation. "So are you and David and actual thing?" She asked. "And why did he come downstairs the other day? Was he in your room?" She got quiet for a minute as she played out scenarios in her head. "Did you two sleep together?!?"

This was the first time something had made me laugh in the past couple of weeks. I could tell this made her a little mad, but I couldn't help it. "No. We aren't an actual thing and no we didn't sleep together. Not the way your thinking." I watched out the window and played with my bracelet. "He came over because he was worried about me like he said. He slept on the couch at first but I had a nightmare and he woke me up. After I was calmed down he was going to go back downstairs, but I asked him if he'd stay with me. That's all that happened."

Chris rolled her eyes unimpressed with my version of the story. "That's it? No kiss? Nothing?"

I smiled. "No." I was quiet for a moment. "Will David be there? At the party I mean?" I knew it was a long shot. Parties weren't David's thing and I don't blame him. They weren't mine either.

"Probably not. Can I ask you another question?" She asked.

"Sure." I replied a little afraid of what the question might be.