the girl beside me - jemily

eleven.

a/n: this chapter is loosely based off of season 3 episode 9, penelope :) 

word count: 1,096 

- j j ' s   p o v -  

I sat in the hospital waiting room on the edge of my seat. 

I was looking around, waiting for someone, anyone, would give me the good news that Emily had survived. The rest of the team had been outside an unsubs house, as I watched from Garcia's office.

I hadn't gone into the field yet, as I had told Hotch I wasn't ready. He understood, and let me stay back with Penelope and help her if she needed. But we both knew that a genius like her wouldn't need any help. 

She had hacked into the man's personal security system, finding a camera that was poised to show us the front of the house, right where the team was going to be. It seemed like the perfect situation. They would just get in,find him, and bring him out into custody. None of us were prepared for what was about to happen. 

We had watched on the bright screen as Emily walked towards the house. In silence, we saw as she fell back, Morgan and Hotch rushing to her aid. A bullet had hit her just above her bulletproof vest, the work of an L.D.S.K., who had shot her through a small hole in the wall.

Penelope and I heard on the radio as Hotch told us to head to the hospital where Emily was going to be rushed to. We were worried sick. As we got in the car, I thought. What if i had gone into the field? Could that have been me? 

And now I was here, waiting for anything that could tell me that Emily was safe. 

My head turned as Spencer approached me, sitting down in the plastic seat to my left. He looked at me, a concerned expression spread across his face. 

Reaching his arm around me, I rested my head on his shoulder. He rubbed my arm, comforting me. Spencer and I had been best friends for years, and I couldn't imagine what it would be like, losing him. 

I jolted up as the doctor approached the six of us in the waiting room. She had a blue scrub cap on, and a covering over her dark blue scrubs. I knew that she had changed so we didn't have to see the blood that was on her operating gown. 

Morgan, Garcia, Rossi, Hotch, Spencer, and I walked up to her, bracing ourselves for the news we were about to hear. 

"There were some complications." 

My hand raised, covering my mouth. 

"We're all still in surgery, but-" She didn't have the chance to finish that sentence before I interrupted. 

"Well what the hell are you doing out here? She's lying there, open on that table, and you're not in there?" Spencer grabbed my arm. 

"JJ, it's not worth it..." I turned, yanking my arm free from his grasp. 

"Get back in there!" My eyes were glossy, filled with tears yet to escape. The surgeon turned, and walked back to the operating room. She walked so casually, as if there wasn't an entire team of agents depending on her to save our friend's life.  

I stumbled back, Spencer pulling me into a hug. I buried my face in his shoulder, finally letting out the tears I had been holding back since I saw her collapse on the camera before. 

As we stood there, I could imagine Emily flatlining. The life escaping her body as I stayed out here, unable to help. 

"What if she doesn't make it?" I whispered through small gasps for air. I don't know what I would do. I couldn't even comprehend the fact that I could lose her. 

"She will. I promise." Spencer's voice calmed me, as he parted himself away from me. He led me over to the chairs where we had been sitting before. 

As I sat down, I wiped my face with the sleeve of my blouse. Morgan looked at me from the other side of the room, his arms rested on his knees as his foot jiggled on the floor. 

Hotch was sitting there, his face in his hand. I knew he blamed himself for her injury. I couldn't imagine what it was like for him, feeling responsible for everything that could happen to his team. 

Rossi sat next to the both of them, looking down the hallway of doors. I snapped out of my observations when I heard Garcia's voice from next to me. I hadn't noticed her as she sat down, which was surprising, considering the amount of accessories dangling from her wrists and neck. 

"Are you okay?" I looked over, running my fingers through my hair. 

"I just need to know that she's okay." Penelope put her arm around me like Spencer had done earlier. That always made me feel better. 

"I'm sure she'll be just fine. But you've been here for hours. Want to go home and get some sleep?" 

I didn't. I wanted to be there when Emily woke up. But I knew that I needed it. I nodded towards Penelope, and she stood, helping me up. 

As we walked outside, I looked back at the large building that was the hospital. I really didn't want to leave, but I knew it was for the best. 

I climbed into Penelope's car, and fastened my seatbelt, sitting in the passengers seat next to her. I looked out of the window at the night sky as we pulled out of the parking lot. 

one and a half hours later. 

I woke up to the sounds of Penelope talking on the phone. 

"She is? I'll wake JJ." She looked over at me. "And she's already up." 

As I sat up, I looked at the clock. Realizing how much time had passed, I got up quickly. I threw on my blouse over my bra and switched my sweatpants out for my jeans that I had been wearing before. As I straightened out the shirt, I hurried over to where she was standing. 

I stopped in the middle, looking over at a mirror. My hair was a mess. I ran my fingers through it, trying to comb it down so it looked at least half decent.  

"Okay, we're on our way." She hung up the phone, turning to me. I looked at the phone and then back to her. "They found the unsub in a neighboring building." She looked down and then back up at me.

"Emily's awake."