Secrets (Sanders Sides x Reader)

Music Box

Hiya! First of all thank you all so much for over 400 reads - I am discombobulated on how I have that many but thank you! Secondly I will be making the chapters longer (and more detailed if I can) due to request :)

TW: Panic Attacks (let me know if there is anything else)

Enjoy!

(Y/N)'s POV 

"Oh hi Virgil" I saluted at him, and he returned it. I'm getting that warm feeling again, the one I don't understand, the one I feel only around Virgil; he interrupted my thoughts "Are you sure your okay? It sounded like you were arguing with someone." He was clearly worried - I just hope he didn't hear me practically scream Janus's name "I'm fine believe me, It was just a TV show" I hate lying to them but what else was I supposed to do. "If you say so kiddo" Patton seemed content with my answer but Virgil didn't look as convinced. "Okay then" I tried to move the conversation along because I don't know how much longer I can look them in the eye and tell them that everything is okay. "Enjoy your show!" they walked down the corridor whilst I closed the door.

I felt awful, they were so excepting of me when I revealed myself and they trusted me almost instantly, and now I'm lying to their faces instead of just telling them that I'm friends with Janus. "That was close" I can't bothered to deal with him right now "Not now Janus" I spoke just above a whisper "I thought you-" I cut him off "Not now" I turned from the door to face him "Later?" I didn't want to talk to him later either but I nodded my head anyway; and with that he sank out without a word and I sat on the floor in the corner of my room. I pulled my knees close to my chest and rested my head on top. I feel horrible, I just lied to my friends/family, I'm not too bothered about lying but I feel really guilty about this one. They should just leave me, I broke their trust..

..I broke their trust because I was upset about Janus breaking mine

I felt my breathing begin to quicken, as I came to terms with what I just did.

Virgil's POV

"Enjoy your show!" we started to walk down the corridor and (Y/N) closed her door, instead of going back downstairs though, I went to my room in case the shouting from earlier continued.

10 minute time skip brought to you by the upcoming Sanders ASides episode 

It's been around 10 minuets, and no shouting has come from (Y/N)'s room, but nothing has come from (Y/N)'s room. I was starting to feel a little anxious about the absence of noise, so I decided to go and check on her. As I approached her door I felt the colour drain from my face, as her usually (f/c) door was turning black. I opened the door almost immediately to see (Y/N) sat in the corner of her room having what looked like a panic attack.

"(Y/N)?" I spoke barely above a whisper, but I still made her jump - Good going Virgil. "It's Virgil...Do you think you can look at me?" She didn't move but she mumbled something "You'll just hate me even more" I was a bit shocked but I know from experience that I need to at least appear calm "I don't hate you (Y/N), none of us hate you" she seemed to ease ever so slightly, but her breathing was still erratic. "Can you try looking at me?" she stayed still for a moment, before slowing raising her head to look at me; her face was red with tear tracks etched on her checks - I hate seeing her like this. "We're going to work on your breathing okay...can I come closer?" she nodded her head yes and I slowly moved closer towards her "Can I touch you?" she hesitated this time but nodded her head once more. I reached forward to hold her hand and began my breathing exercises.

"We're going to take deep breaths okay"

"In" 

"And Out" 

"In"

"And Out"

I quickly realised that my techniques weren't working, as her breathing didn't slow at all. I looked around her room until I spotted her music box on the bed side table - It was the one she had told us not to touch the first day we met her

Flashback:

"Look around, don't be shy... just don't touch my music box" she pointed at a small wooden box on the side with the (Your Star Sign) constellation on top.

Flashback Over

I stood up and picked it up before returning to (Y/N)'s side, I wound it up and it started playing a song that I didn't recognise - but (Y/N) clearly did - she started to calm down nearly immediately. After she had calmed down with the aid of the music box, I pulled her into a tight hug "Why didn't you tell me you get panic attacks...I thought I was the only side that had them" 

It was nice to get back into the swing of things after my break. Requests and Ideas are always welcome :)

~st0pwatch_ <3