A King with No Title

Troubled Waters

The ceremony seemed to have dragged on for years, Merlin had served wine in his dazed state still unable to comprehend the news he had just heard. Yet his main concern was for Arthur, he didn't seem to know either? It is highly unusual of Gwen to announce things like this, it was rather reckless for her, she was usually well versed in the etiquette of many situations. It seemed as if this should have been handled more privately first, in Merlin's opinion anyway.

As the night died down and the guests were escorted to the gates Merlin followed Arthur to his Chambers to help him change for bed. Arthur seemed trapped in his own mind and distant, but this distance was new... He wanted Merlin there but was unable to express this in his confusion.

Guinevere joined them both not long after Arthur had finished dressing. "Congratulations Gwen." Merlin said as she entered she smiled at him and placed a hand gently on his arm.

"Thank you Merlin." she says before dropping her arm to her side again whilst her smile faltered slightly. "You did excellently tonight, the plans worked out... Not that I ever doubted your abilities of course... That's not what I meant." Gwen paused and shook her head slightly before smiling again, "You did well, and the display of magic was mesmerising." Merlin smiled, as Arthur was leant against the wall. Merlin said a small thanks.

Even as Queen, Gwen had not lost her loving and caring personality, something was so incredibly admirable about that, and Merlin had always been greatful that she had not stopped being her when she had power. She was still righteous and his good friend, as well as a Queen he could admire and respect, she was born to be this great. No doubt about it.

"I should turn in for the night, unless you wish for me to do anything before I leave?" Merlin asks glancing between Arthur and Gwen. Arthur lips tightened whilst he shook his head, and Gwen shook her head as well. Merlin nodded and both of them before walking out of the room and to Gaius' and his room. When he walked in Gaius was not there which left Merlin slightly baffled.

He starts toward the centre of the room and looking up at the small raised bits in the room checking Gaius was not sorting through his books which had become almost customary these past few days. "Gaius?" Merlin asks with caution. There was no response other than the echo of his own voice off the stone walls of the room.

Moments later Gaius opens the door, flinching as he saw Merlin looking around aimlessly. "Merlin what are you doing?" Gaius whisper yelled at him. Merlin was not quite sure why he had attempted a slight whisper no one ever really heard them down here, that was one of the beauties of the room. Merlin also wondered why Gaius whisper yelled at all, he normally just yelled. Merlin had always wondered, when he reflected on his life after he told Arthur of his magic, on how he and Gaius had not been caught before. But Merlin let that thought go...

"Looking for you." He says as if it were completely obvious although from Gaius' perspective Merlin was simply spinning in circles as if watching an invisible fly buzzing a halo around his head.

"Merlin you amaze me." Gaius says sarcastically, "If you are not going to sleep now you can clean that damned leech tank."

"No I'm going to sleep I swear." Merlin says hurriedly before running back into the small room which he called his, and lying on the less than comfortable bed, but at least it was a bed he was lucky to have his head still in reality, let alone a bed.

Arthur's mind was still focused upon Merlin and the door he had left from minutes ago, he hadn't even looked at Gwen and he could feel the tension between them grow. "How long have you know?" Arthur said looking at his feet before up at Gwen who looked almost completely calm, she had expected a worse reaction if she had been brutally honest.

"Before the battle Gaius confirmed it for me. I had planned on telling you to come back for our child, make sure you were there, yet I never got the chance." She pauses looking at her hands, "But you left earlier than anticipated in such a rush, and when I thought I lost..." She choked on her words as she began to feel tears hit her eyes, "When I thought I lost you, I was not sure if my emotions, my fear, my pain may have harmed the baby, I had to confirm I was still with child." She spluttered the words out but still kept most of her composure.

"The child is not harmed, clearly. So how long have you known that?" Arthur spat out, his words coming out violent, more violent than he had intended, he was just angry, how could she have kept this from him?

"A few days." She whispered, and Arthur looked at her with a fire in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He didn't raise his voice, he let his anger go, now he just felt hurt as to why Guinevere would not have told him about his child.

"I could ask the same of many things for you Arthur. I was told everything that was happening with the Sidhe, the deals, the way you almost died, even with Merlin's magic, although I already knew you believed I didn't and still thought it acceptable to hide it from me. Hide everything from me." She yelled in a strained voice and Arthur looked shocked.

"It's a bit different than our child Guinevere." Arthur argued.

"Arthur, I know that; I am not as stupid as you choose to believe. But it is still the same principle, the one of trust. These weeks you have been back you have spent more time in your own head than in the real world, there are people I have not been close to in years who have offered me more support than you in these hard times. I thought I had lost you, I was scared and ready to mourn I was unsure of how I would rule alone as Queen and be a mother alongside that, yet to you I became an after thought." Arthur attempted to defend himself but was cut off, "I was lost Arthur, yet someone who you have been treating like a stranger and a traitor, someone who broke the trust you had in him. You included him, but you left me out, you didn't talk to me, I didn't know how significantly life in the kingdom, that we both rule as King and Queen would change, as your wife you didn't trust me. But even further than that if you didn't even respect me as your wife, you should have respected me as your Queen I am entitled to that Arthur." She concluded tears in her eyes that she refused to let fall, she was reluctant to possibly be seen as fragile or weak, even though she knew this was not weakness she wanted to stand her ground without letting too much break through.

"Are you talking about Merlin?" He pauses and rolls his eyes, "When was he ever apart of this argument? He is a manservant, and he was the one who made the deals you speak of, I can't exactly keep him out of the loop when he is the loop Guinevere."

"From all the things that I have just said, you decide to pick out the small fraction about Merlin?" Her voice cracking slightly as she spoke.

"Guinevere I am sorry. I can not imagine your pain, I know you must have been fearful too, but I saw no need for you to be involved in it, it was nothing to trouble you with." He tries to reason but stopped as she gave him a look that said everything, that he was talking nonsense. Arthur knew in himself that what he was arguing was futile. He realised that he had distanced himself from his Queen he fought so hard to be with. He didn't really know how to feel or even what to do...

"I am sorry, I should have told you about our child before announcing it like that." She says, "But I will not apologise for being hurt by your actions, because Arthur you should have known better than that." She pauses swallowing thickly, "I think it best we sleep in separate quarters tonight."