Around and around we go

Chapter 13

My heart was racing as we travelled across the city. That kiss explained just as much as it didn't. I was left in stunned silence to try and figure out what the fuck had just happened. How could so much have happened in just a few short hours? I haven't really had a chance to fully process the fact that he was HERE, let alone what just happened between us. Seriously.. what was that? What was I thinking? What was HE thinking? We don't do things like that. Ever. We had discussed it a long, LONG, time ago and it just seemed complete absurd to the both of us. It must be all of the pent up emotions that are surfacing at the moment. It's been a lot to take in, and why not deal with it by making it even more confusing? Sounds about right...

Whatever that was, it couldn't happen again.

He was already too attached to the idea of my being back, which I wasn't. I have a career that I love, that I've worked hard for. I still get to travel and pursue my other passions while working.
Nevertheless, I was lonely. I didn't understand just how alone I really was. I had spent so much time and effort pushing everyone away and building up walls, that I never thought about how much I might need someone else in my life. And it NEVER once crossed my mind that someone else might need ME in theirs. I turned to that person and watched him as he was trying to work out what to do about the show tonight. They had played without the eldest Leto in the past. It was never something they wanted to do, but it was perfectly do-able. I could tell that he wanted to postpone the show because he wanted to be with his brother. I must be completely insane for what I was about to do.

Reaching over, I place my hand on his thigh and give it a light squeeze to get his attention. SO SKINNY. He tells whoever he's speaking with to hold on and covers the mouth piece with his hand.
"Nat? What is it?"
"I can stay with Shannon while you go do your thing. I don't have anywhere to be now. He won't be left alone." He SHOULD be left alone. But I wasn't about to say that.
"I can't ask you to do that..." I give him a look that basically told him to shove it and I was doing it.
"Are you sure about this?"
I really wasn't. I wasn't sure about ANY of this. Forcing myself to nod, I say "Yes. I'm sure. I'll stay here with him and keep you updated. BUT you better be right back here as SOON as you step off that stage mister. No extra curricular activities tonight." Winking at him, attempting to make light of the situation I was putting myself in. I swear there's the briefest look of pain in his eyes at that comment.

I figure as long as Shannon was still unconscious, what could possibly go wrong? I had some work I could catch up on, and a massive backlog of photos to edit. How hard could it be to completely ignore someone who wasn't awake?
"You are amazing. Thank you!"
"It's nothing..."
"Hold on, I need to finish this call" and he's got hold of my hand again, but this time he's intimately entwined his long fingers through mine, absentmindedly drawing circles on my palm with his thumb. SIGH. Something has definitely changed. I've already been completely destroyed by one Leto... I surely could not survive being crushed by this one. And he would absolutely, without a doubt, crush me. However, I don't exactly make any effort to pull away or change the position of our hands.

I take his phone from him when he's done so I can transfer his entire schedule to mine, once again grinning to myself at the sight of his lockscreen. Our driver pulls into the parkade and drops us at what appears to be a service entrance. Ahh the life of a rockstar, always using back entrances and trying to avoid being seen. Although I had become really good at blending into the background and not being seen, I did not miss living life like this. It was exhausting trying to keep your private life private when you lived this life.

As Shayla leads the way to the elevator, I check Jared's schedule for tomorrow and find a relatively free day. I book him into the Spa at the hotel since I'll be there working anyways. He needs some time to relax. Emma will be here by then, she can deal with Shannon.

I follow Shayla into the elevator, Jared just behind me with his hand on my lower back. It's amazing how every hospital is pretty much the same no matter where you are in the world. Each one divided into floors or wards filled with the sick, the dying, the hopeless and the hopeful. Also, I'm fairly certain that they all had at least thre of the same pieces of 'art' (I use that term very loosely) hanging somewhere, and in this case it was hanging in this elevator. The same generic watercolor, supposedly calming, scene of rolling hills, sunshine, a stream and some trees. I turned my back to it and stood to the right and a little bit behind Jared. He positions himself closer to me and reaches out behind him blindly with his fingers, grazing my leg and sending shivers through my entire body. I take hold of the tips of his fingers with mine, completely unnoticeable to anyone who might get into the elevator. My heart was racing at just the lightest touch now.

Arriving at whatever floor we were meant to be on, Shayla heads straight for the nurse's station. A really nice young nurse leads us to the private room they had moved Shannon into, letting us know that the Doctor will be here shortly. The lights were dimmed as if the occupant were just there taking a nap, but the beeping from the heart monitor broke the illusion. I hid myself behind Jared, trying to use him as a human shield, and of course he stopped abruptly and I walked right into him.

"Jesus Nat! Watch where you're going! Are you ok?" He whispers at me, and as he turns to face me, I catch a glimpse of Shannon. I could actually feel the color drain from my face. He looked so frail and deathly pale laying there in that hospital bed, his head wrapped in bandanges. What the fuck happened to him? Was he that scrawny when I saw him in the hallway last night? I honestly can't remember. Oh my poor snuggle-bear! What did you do to yourself?? What have you done with the man I loved?

I could no longer feel my legs.

The room was spinning.

My vision going dark at the edges.

Jared's strong arms wrapping around me.

"Shannon!" I gasp and everything goes dark.