Around and around we go

Chapter 18- Shannon

My head was killing me. 

I tried to open my eyes and take a look around but immediately squeezed them shut as the dim light brought on a wave of pain. When I tried to lift my hand to shield my eyes, something... no.. someone, was holding it down. Squinting one eye open, I found a woman sleeping on my arm, clutching my hand. I immediately froze. Who the fuck was this? And where the fuck was I??

 Her hair had fallen across her face so I couldn't see who she was. I hesitantly reached over and gently brushed aside her hair with my fingertips so I could see her face. Who I saw had me pulling my hand back in shock. I couldn't believe it! 

Natalie. 

I didn't know what to do. If she was here, something must be very wrong. 
A million questions ran through my foggy brain. 
Why is she here? Where is here? 
Where the fuck am I? What the fuck happened? What is going on? 
Where is Jared? no really....WHERE.IS.MY.BROTHER?? 

I started to panic. 

She would know what to do. I knew that much. 

I reached out again and gently stroked her hair. "Nat... " 
She slowly opened one perfect green eye and squinted up at me. The look of relief and the small smile on her face instantly put me at ease. 

"Oh thank God!" She exclaimed with relief.

"Nat... Where am I? What... happened...? Where's J?"

"Oh Shan! Don't worry.. Everything is ok.. or it will be.. Jared is FINE. He's at the show...I'm going to let him know you're up...  " She went on to explain to me what happened, and I tried to remember it but it was all so foggy. 

" ... and that pretty much brings us to right now.... You ASShole! you have no idea how worried you've made everyone!!!" 

She went to playfully punch me on the shoulder, but as soon as she attempted to make a fist with the hand in a bright pink cast (how did I not notice that?) she cried out and doubled over in pain. I watched as she clutched at the blanket on my bed, knuckles of her uninjured hand turning white, as she attempted to ride out the sudden wave of pain. 

"Do you need me to call a nurse? What can I do?" I panicked. There has to be something someone can do! Someone needs to help her! She is in so much pain!!

She just shook her head against the side of the bed and continued trying to breathe through the pain. All I could do was cover her little hand with my mitt and pray this would be over soon. There are very few things in this life that I can't handle; her being in pain is one of those things. That, and when she cries. She's not a crier like some girls are, it's a very rare occurrence that she allows anyone to see her shed a tear. When she finally lifted her head from the side of the bed, there were tears running down her cheeks and I couldn't do a single fucking thing for her.   

"Natalie! What's going on?? Talk to me!" 

"Broken... two places... no meds..." She said between deep breathes, still trying to ease the pain that was obviously too much for her. 

"You NEED something... look at you!" 

"NO!" The look of terror on her face and the urgency in her voice scared the crap out of me.

"Ok, ok.. no meds... whatever you say. Come, tell me what happened... wait. What are you doing here?" It suddenly dawned on me that this wasn't normal that she was here. Sudden pain came over me as random memories started flashing across my mind. 
Tour buses and hotel rooms...Stolen glances across the room...Snow falling and first kisses shared...Love. Real, true, amazing, love...White sheets, sunlight, and bare skin...Delicate hands fitting perfectly into mine...The sweet scent of pink grapefruit...The perfect ring...Champagne celebrations...Smiles and laughter turning into pain and tears. 
The accident...Loss. 
My fault. It was my fault. 
The emptiness....Darkness...A long line of faceless, nameless, distractions. 
Green eyes that once twinkled and shone with hope and love, transformed into grey, unseeing, unfeeling pools of misery...Heartbreak.