Around and around we go

Chapter 5

        As the sun slowly made it's appearance, bringing with it the start of a new day, I work on getting the shots I wanted. This is my favorite time of day, before the world wakes up and the hustle and bustle of a chaotic world begins.  There was a time in my life when I wasn't able to appreciate the true beauty of the world. I'm not sure when it happened, when exactly I fell in love with the dawn, I just knew that I had to capture that love I felt and share it with the world. Well, maybe not the world... but my 648 followers on Instagram like my work. 

        Just like old times, he was peering over my shoulder to see what I was capturing with my lens, his long hair tickling my neck. "Leto, you need to step back or do something with that ridiculous hair of yours!" 
Feigning shock and disgust, he straightens up and flips is hair over his shoulders like the diva that he is and says in his favourite Rayon accent "Darling, don't you be hatin on my hair too now!" 
But he's pulled out a clip (seriously, where is he keeping all of this stuff? the man is wearing pj's for fucks sake...) takes off his fur trimmed hat and pulls his hair back. How is it possible that he can do his hair better in 2.5 seconds AND sans mirror than I can ever dream of being able to do? 
Taking my camera off of it's tripod, I get down on the ground and lay flat on my back so I can get some shots of the rapidly changing colors of the sparse clouds above me. Just as the clouds are changing from the most magnificently bright pink to orange, he's standing directly over me, making the most ridiculous face... 
"YOU DID NOT JUST PHOTOBOMB MY SUNRISE!" 
Jared is laughing so hard that he can no longer stand up straight, so he gets down beside me and plonks his head on my stomach and looks up at the sky. Yawning one of the biggest yawns I've ever seen, he says "This is really beautiful...really special..." 
"Just a few more shots and we can head back inside... How long have you been up for, Yawny McYawnerson?" 
With another big yawn he simply answers "I don't know, how long have you been gone for?" 
"Jared... don't... please don't. Can we talk about this later? Please?" I plead with him. 
He thinks about it for a moment. "Alright, but we will talk? I'm sorry... I've just... Missed you. I didn't realize how much I've truly missed you." 
He's no longer looking up at the sky, but has his eyes turned towards mine. I try to ignore his gaze and get the last change in the clouds. 
        The golden light from the newly risen sun is lighting him from head to toe, making it appear like he was glowing. I couldn't help myself, I snapped a couple of pictures of my favourite subject. He scrunches up his perfect little nose at me when he sees me pointing the camera directly at him. Does he not realize that this actually makes for a better picture than if he's being serious? Or maybe he does... 

        I put my most prized possession down beside me, then putting my uninjured arm behind my head, I gently stroke his once again lose hair with my other hand. I'm not sure how long we were laying there, not speaking, taking in each other's company. This is the way it's always been between us. We were always able to just be ourselves around each other. Never having to be "on" or pretending. We were always true to ourselves and to each other. We never talked about it; It just happened. We're just as comfortable in complete silence as we are having an intense conversation. He knows how much I loathe small talk. And I know how much he just needs to be himself; that weird, quiet, skinny kid I met in art school.

        I can see he's very close to falling asleep out here on the rooftop and without a word, he's g up on his feet and is gently pulling me up to mine. He's once again got both of my hands in his, gently rubbing his thumbs over the tops of my knuckles in the most comforting way. 
"Nat...I.... I'm so sorry. So very very sorry." There's that sadness back in his eyes from earlier. 
"Shhhhh, Jared, you have nothing to be sorry for." I whisper back to him, not able to deal with the sadness that has now taken over the rest of his features, I look down at our hands. "None of this was your fault. I didn't want to leave. I HAD to. You know this..." My voice trails off as I fight off the tears.

Do not cry.

You will NOT cry right now. You've shed enough tears over this.

Do not break now. 

He.

Cannot.

See.

You.

Cry. 

He's pulled me into his arms and is nuzzling his face into the side of my neck, whispering over and over that he's sorry... omg Leto... Are you crying? He IS. Dammit, this is going to make me cry... BE STRONG. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. 
"J...Please... You're going to get me going... and NO ONE wants to see that... let's get you back to your room. You need some rest hun." 
With a nod and a sniffle, he breaks out of my arms and literally shakes his body out like a dog. 
"Better?" I ask, wiping a stray tear off of his cheek with my thumb. Leaning into my hand and looking a little less sad he says 
"Almost." He leans in and kisses the top of my forehead "Ready?" 
I smile up at him "As I ever will be." 
 As he picks up my gear, slinging my camera bag over his shoulder and tucking my tripod under his arm, he takes my hand again and leads me back towards the door to the stairwell.