OH MY GOD, are you PREGNANT?

We need to believe

I never really believed in that, "everything happens for a reason stuff" I always thought it was dumb, my mom used to call it "believing in the made-up things". With all the crappy things that happened up until 8 months ago I believed that, but now I think of things differently, in a way that I never believed in before. Because my mom didn't believe in those things, I never believed in Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny or The Tooth Fairy, but I can give my daughter the childhood I never had, Derek will ensure that. 

I woke up to the left side of the bed empty, I held my head on my hands while I woke up 'where the heck is he?' I thought as got out of bed, I was wearing one of Derek's shirts because all of mine were too tight. I walked down the wooden stairs, once I got to the bottom stair I heard Derek:

"Yeah everything's good, I'm fine"

I walked slowly over to the kitchen, careful not to make a sound.

"Ma you do know it's like 5am here, right?" 

'Oh it's his mom', I continued to walk closer to the slightly opened kitchen door. I finally reached the door and stood there, looking through the crack.

"That's nice that you wanted to check on her ma, but she's asleep and I should be in there asleep too" 

'That's what you think' I thought as a chuckled to myself

"She's good, yep. She sleeps okay, she tosses and turns a lot throughout the night. The baby is fine, we went to a check-up a few days ago... yes I'll send you the picture"

'Now he's talking about me... let's listen to this' I thought as I held my ear closer.

"She isn't due for another two months ma... no you don't need to push your flight" he took a deep breath.

I looked through the small crack and I could see that he was sitting on the stool facing the other way, I opened the door carefully and walked in, I leaned my back against the wall.

"I'm not worked up.... Meredith has nothing to do with this, she's amazing, it's like she's not even worried anymore, she's ready, she's gonna be amazing ma, I do love her, more than anything" he said proudly.

My heart started swelling up, he was being Mcdreamy now, I stared off into the distance for awhile.

"She's more than ready but I don't know, I'm scared. Ma I don't want to disappoint her or our daughter..." he trailed off his sentence, which is what broke me out of my staring to see that he was looking at me with an embarrassed expression on his face.

"Ma I'll call you later" Derek quickly said and then hung up the phone. I walked up to him 'I can't believe he thinks that' I thought in disbelief, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his broad shoulders, they then travelled to his neck as I bit my lip, his ocean eyes then met with mine and I could tell there was tears in them. We looked at each other for a bit before I spoke, "Derek... you could never disappoint me or our daughter" I shook my head, there were tears in my eyes now too "..listen, I may seem like I have everything under control but I don't, we will never be completely ready, but I believe that that's for the best" I said as he pulled me into a hug, "thank you Meredith" he said, we parted from the hug and I looked up at him, his arms were still around me so I put my head on his chest, "no. Thank you Derek" I whispered.

~ 2 hours later at the hospital~

I sat in a computer room trying to find a fix for one of Dr. Bailey's patients but I was having trouble concentrating, 'what if Derek is pushing his family away because of me, because I don't have a good past with my own. I don't want him to push his mother away because of me' my mind was wandering all over the place, 'I should tell him to invite his mother... but then she'll be back soon again when the baby arrives... oh god' all the back and forth thoughts were making my mind spin. I starting going through old medical cases for the case I was on, that was until Cristina came in, "hey" she said as she sat down beside me, "hey" I replied without turning to her, she moved her chair closer to me and then spoke again "what are you workin' on?" I looked at a case and then finally turned around to face my friend, "I'm on a case with a kid who has the biggest tumor in her abdomen that I've ever seen, so Bailey's got me looking at old case files" I explained with a deep breath as I turned to my computer 'the patient died again...I'm never gonna find a fix' I thought as Cristina spoke up again "so what happened this morning?" I wiped my head back to her gaze, "how do you know?" I asked her, shocked. She tilted her head to the side "because you are on your 3 third cup of coffee, which normally would be fine but I know that since you've been pregnant you've limited yourself to one a day. You also have large bags under your eyes and you can't stop yawning" Cristina explained, proving her point, "fine... Derek's mom called this morning to mainly check up on us, but then she asked if she could come visit and Derek told her not to" I finished throwing my arms up in the air. "So your point is?" she asked sarcastically, this time I tilted my head at her "I don't want Derek pushing his family away because I have past family issues, I don't know what to do.." 

Cristina closed the door and then moved closer to me, our eyes meeting, I frowned my brows at her, "if you really are open to Derek and his truckload of sisters being in your life then you should tell him, but if you need to take it slow, he's gonna understand that too, he's Derek... he'll be fine no matter what you say" I nodded "thank you Cristina" I said kindly, pulling her into a rare hug. We parted and before she walked out I stopped her, "wait, Cristina... why did you close the door?" I questioned, she quickly came up with an answer "I don't want the rest of the hospital to know I have a soft side..." she replied and walked out, I sat there smirking 'that's Cristina for ya'.

~(Derek's POV) In the locker room at the end of the day~

I had received a page from Meredith to the locker room so I opened the door and walked in, "hey" I said as I walked over to her grabbing her coat, "hey" she sweetly responded, I watched her for a bit and then she closed her locker and we started to walk, "we have to walk faster if we're gonna make the open house for that house we liked" I explained as I sped up my walking, but noticed that Meredith had stopped. I walked back, stopping in front of her "Mer what's wrong?" I asked as I took ahold of her arms, rubbing the sides of them, "I need to talk to you about something, but it can wait if you want to go to the house thingy" she said motioning with her hands, I took a deep breath and then spoke, "we don't need to go" I said shaking my head. 

~(Meredith's POV)~

I was preparing to say something, 'what do I tell him? what do I tell him?'. "When your mother called this morning... I heard you tell her not to come to visit, you pushed her away. But even though it's not a big deal, I think it's a big deal if your pushing your family away because of me. I-I don't want you to have to protect me, I don't want you to isolate yourself because I have family issues" I finally said, signing of relief after, I looked into Derek's ocean blue eyes, "you know, you don't have to do this. Are you sure you want to deal with my truckload of sisters?" Derek asked me, tilting his head as always. I shook my head playfully "yeah... I mean, I don't know about Nancy but I can deal with the rest of your sisters.. and your mom, Derek your mom is amazing" I gushed with a smile, he smiled to "so what are you saying?" he asked, and I quickly replied "I'm saying I want to be apart of your family Derek". He pulled me into a hug and we left the hospital but when we got to the car Derek spoke up again "so are we going to the "house thingy" or what?" he asked laughing at my terminology, "sure" I replied but before I got into the car I heard some slight sounds, like popping... it started getting louder and louder, once it got loud enough I figured out what the sound was, I looked at Derek and he knew too "Derek... are-are those gunshots?".

Sometimes I think that people have to believe in certain things because the fairytale is so so much better than believing the truth, that life can catch you completely off-guard.

AN: Dahhhhh, Dahhhh, Dahhhhhh. Yep someone's got a gun, I just figured that we needed some action in the story so, this. I just want to say how glad I am that people still read this, and it still shocks me that it has 3.6k read so far. But I also want to promote my other two stories which are focused on Greys and the newest one is focused on Criminal Minds, so if you guys could check the both of those out that would be amazing.

The Criminal Minds one: Is it love? (Criminal Minds AU)

The Greys one: More than blood {Greys Anatomy Fanfiction}

If y'all have watched Criminal Minds you should really check out the cm one.. I'm really happy with how the first one turned out. Anyways... wow this Authors Note is really long, I'm sorry so yah I love you all so so much, byeeeee!

xxxemilee