I might forgive you because otherwise it's only going to hurt me to continue to live with the hurt it caused me. I will forgive but not forget, you have caused a lot of confusion and pain in my life but at the same time I still love you both... I love you guys for your courage and fight, but I hate it at the same time because when it comes between my siblings living a normal life and the way you live yours I will always choose normal because I lived yours growing up and it caused me some trouble fitting into Society, I wasn't able to socialize very easily because I knew we'd be moving again probably soon so there was no point to get attached, and I don't want my siblings to have to continue going down that path, they deserve childhood friends, a church they'll goto every Wednesday and Sunday and a school they won't have to switch out of, they deserve to try out for sports. To me they deserve the world!!!
If I could I would give them it, they deserve to be kids, they have already seen so much bad In the world and they're still so young.
I will continue to be honest and try not to disown your name at the same time. Because although the world might see you as bad parents, to me your just parents with some issues that you never got help with which has affected the way you parent but I wouldn't call you bad.
Because I have seen the way your eyes light up when one of us does something like getting a reward or honored at school and I've seen you support us with anything we set our mind too, I know you have done some unforgettable stuff in our lives but maybe now you can try to become the sober version of yourself everyday.
When your high or drunk you do become unnoticeable to me, you turn into a zombie like creature or a monster with so much rage that'll take it out on anybody, I hope that you fight your hardest this time to prove to not only me but everybody else that you will choose us over anything in the world for just once.
