Professor Why's Academy for Extraordinary Youngsters

Heroics 109: Culinary Arts on a Budget

Ivan didn't come back to class that entire day. I searched all his usual hangouts, the cafeteria, the burger shack, the cafeteria again, and the burger shack again, and he was nowhere to be found. October had come back to class, however, and after we finished our daily brain invasion, I decided to get a co-conspirator... someone wise, noble, and who owed me because she gave me a bloody nose that morning. I found Situ talking with Summer and Venus. They had been bonding a bit lately, talking about girl stuff. Pressure points, battle strategies, fighting styles to emulate, the usual. I was too manly to participate in those kinds of discussions so I usually didn't pay attention, but today I was in full detective mode, like Dick Tracy, or Dick Grayson, or the guys that investigated Richard "tricky Dick" Nixon. Macho stuff.

I approached Situ in the middle of a conversation and informed her that we "need to talk", and she, like any reasonable person, replied with "About what?" This is why we were destined to be such a great detective team. I was charming and charismatic, like Dick Van Dyke. She was tough and argumentative, like Dick Cheney. It was the perfect buddy cop setup.

Being the entertaining free spirit/loose canon cop with no respect for authority, it was easy for me to get Situ involved in this mystery.

"Want to take October out to dinner?" I asked.

"Sure." Situ replied.

We were reading each other's wavelengths so hard. I had a few gadgets that I had worked on for almost an entire night literally shoved up my sleeve, and I could not wait to show her the surprises I had in store. As the loose cannon cop in this detective story, it was my job to find an out of the box solution for any problems that might arise. As she stood up and gave her friends a goodbye, I could tell that we were vibing with each other pretty hard, and that I was every bit as helpful in this friendship as she was.

October spent every other day headed to the science lab for some extra curricular nonsense. What a nerd. I saw her take Ivan over there the previous day, so I knew what route she would likely take, and me and Situ sat outside the door, like an ambush, or an intervention, but it was two friends trying to bring a third friend out to an investigative lunch.

"There's no one in there." I said, putting on a pair of shades I brought for any occasion. "It's real dusty too. Your teacher only uses one flask, then sets it on the table when he's done. Classic amateur play."

October looked shocked.

"What a shame. I checked everywhere." I nudged Situ. She rolled her eyes and played along like the straight-laced cop that I knew she could be.

"Did you check the sodium?" She asked.

I put on my glasses again. Prematurely removing glasses was a bad choice.

"Na." I said, dramatically ripping them off again.

"If only I could come! But it's impossible!" October replied. "My tutor waits for me inside a big bag of sodium. If you'll excuse me..." And she tried to walk into the room.

"Actually, we wanted to talk to you." Situ said.

October tensed up more. It's almost like she'd never been invited to dinner before.

"We wanted to become better friends with you, so Flare wanted to invite you to dinner, but he was a coward so he wanted me to ask you instead." Situ said. Her cutting sincerity was on point, a common trait of by-the-book cops.

October thought for a moment, then grabbed her cell phone and threw it with great force at one of the back cabinets.

"I'd love to go to dinner, oh friends of mine, and cell phones are such a distraction!" She said, with more heartwarming cheer than I'd ever heard before. "Would it be possible to bring Mr. Yi along?"