Safe & sound

5

Now, the Avengers aren't exactly what the media poses them to be.

Yes, they are badass, crotch-kicking, Chitari yeeting superheroes, but that's not who they REALLY are, and they aren't crotch-kicking and Chitari yeeting ALL the time, and the media only sees that part of them.

But inside the tower, (yes, there is still no compound, the Avengers and SHIELD here are lazy shits) they all act in certain ways, and different styles. (and different animals- but that's not important, moving on,)

Like, for example, going to bed. Some Avengers sleep when their partner sleeps, like Stucky and Visanda and Clint with his Elmo stuffy; some couples don't go to bed together, like Pepperony and ms. Cho, who's still waiting for Thor to dump Loki. And then there's the couple that live Oceans, and Vibranium forcefields apart, like Falcanther (sam x T'challa).

And all those couples, together/with a Sesame Street character or not, they all love their partners. They do.

But.

That doesn't mean they'll do things for the other, only if it's in a battle. Let's take a look, shall we?

This is just a... normal evening, okay? So right now, Tony can't reach the cereal on the high shelf, even when he tried Peppers Heels. And you may be thinking,' well he's an engineer billionaire, why doesn't he just get a stool?'

Well, Clint used it to get his Elmo stuffy that Tony put in an equal distance from the vents to the ground, and also a spot that's just too high for him to reach.

So the refrigerator.

And now Clint is getting back at him.

But Clint also isn't an idiot when it comes to pranks. Any other times, yes, but when HE is setting his OWN... he does it thoroughly and mastermindedley (shut up I know it isn't a word.)

So when Tony jumps one more time to have his fingers catch the corner of the box and have it slide down with his jump, the Frosted Flakes spill everywhere, because Clint left both of the sides on the cereal box open, so every single shriveled up-Golden hay like Donald Trumps Hair-Coated in sugar-flakey flake pours out, and scatters onto the kitchen floor.

And the best part was, Tony knew what happened as soon as he heard the shrill sound like the noise you hear in a grass field from all the bugs, the noise of all the flakes pouring out, so he stood there, evident amounts of disappointment plain on his features as the Frosted Flakes slide off his head and down his back, and through his shirt and chest.

And Clint set up cameras (other than the security ones already in place), so he was watching the whole thing from his 'evil lair', inside the vents as he shoved frootloops into his mouth, petting Elmo the stuffy like a dog.

"We did good, Ellie, we did good," he says, then slithers like a snake to another part of the vents.

The first person, or god, actually, to pass Tony on his knees cleaning the mess is Thor, visiting from Asgard and wearing his human clothes.

Once Tony saw him, he figured, hey. He's a god, he'll help. He was wrong. "Hey Pointbreak mind helping me clean this?"

Thor looked at him, then the mess, putting two-and-two together, and just chuckles. Then he's gone.

So that was a no from him.

The next to pass was Bucky. Like I said earlier, the Avengers don't wear their halloween (or superhero, whatever) costumes in the tower; Bucky was wearing simple grey sweatpants and a loose thread long-sleeve. And Asking him for help wasn't exactly what Tony wanted to do, but it was taking too long to clean this up.

And while asking, he said the wrong words.

"Hey Shiny mind giving me a hand here?"

And Bucky just ripped off his arm and threw it at him. And continued walking.

Tony sat back, tears of frustration in his old eyes and thought, why god, why?

The next person to come was Natasha, who when asked by Tony "can you get the broom?" She pretended not to hear him and kept walking. Like usual.

The demon shredded skin was now swept into a pile with Tonys hands, and now he just needed to pick it all up and put it back in the box because shhh, no one will know, and the floor is reletively clean, so it should be fine.

After Natasha came Wanda, Pietro whizzing past her and blowing all the frosted flakes out of their pile which made Tony let out a strangled cry. All his hard work, gone.

Before Tony could even speak, Wanda had glanced over and saw the spilt cereal and Tony staring at it like it was a dead child, and got an idea.

She put one up his nostril.

None of them noticed Peter, who saw the mess on the floor after entering the kichen and turned around to get a broom.

Tony sat back in defeat. All he had now was a metal arm, damaged pride, scattered cereal and a Frosted Flake in his nose. He thought it couldn't get any worse than this, but he was wrong.

Pepper decided that just at that moment she'd stroll past, and paused at the sight of her pouting husband, and the mess surrounding him. Biting her lip to keep in the laughter, she went over to Tony, careful not to step on any of the cereal so it won't make any more of a mess, and kissed Tony's forehead, saying, "I love you, and good luck." Then she left.

Next who showed up was none other than cucumber himself, Dr. Strange. He was walking by, bot a care in the world, until Tony caught his wrist. "Can't you help me?"

Dr. Strange shook his head and replied, "I'm busy, I have to go to the London sanctum." And Tony was too tired and frustrated to realize Dr. Strange's smirk because what he just said was a lie.

Dr. Strange didn't need to go to the London sanctum, he was actually about to go to his hideout in Cuba where he'll be eating Laura Secord ice cream by the beach. But Tony didn't need to know that. So he left.

Tony sighed gloomily, standing up on old bones to look for a broom. And just as he left the room, Peter returned with the broom, his backpack on his back and started to sweep.

Tony, totally oblivious of this, found no broom in the closet and groaned, going onto his stomach and stretching out his limbs. In the middle of the hall. On the floor. Closing his eyes.

And later on he'd go into the kitchen, expecting there to still be a mess, but instead found a note on the counter from Peter:

Hey dad or whoever finds this, I saw the spilt frosted flakes (I cri, such a waste) and decided to clean it up, I'm really sorry I left the broom but I had to leave because I was going to be late. I also took an apple, so you can't tell me I need to have breakfast, becaue I did haha! Victory.

And I hope you have an amazing day, and I love you and you're all the greatest family I could ask for. :)

Love, Peter xoxo