5th of February, 2011.
Dear Luke,
Well hey. I think you've been gone for 12 days, 9 hours and 14 minutes now. Which totally sucks. The worst thing about you not being here is that I have to wear my own jumpers. I liked wearing yours because they gave me a happy tingling feeling every time I breathed in your colone. Do you remember the first time you leant me your jumper and I "accidentally" kept fogetting to give it back to you? I never forgot. I was always going to return it once your smell faded. Which sounds really creepy and clingy, I know. But there was always something about you that made me feel safe and happy and when you were gone, even if it was just to your house to eat food and sleep, I would put on your jumper and it was like you never left.
But its not like that anymore. I wish it was. But now whenever something reminds me of you I remember the way you left, the way you told me you couldn't let anything get between you and your career. But is it really such a bad thing to have someone even while you're touring the world and tearing up my heart?
My Mother tried to make me smile the other day. I haven't smiled since you left. She meant well and I understand that it would be hard to see your daughter in pain like that. But I couldn't stand it. It made me cry instead. Not like a small and quiet cry, but an ugly, hiccuping mess of a cry that gave me a headache and nearly made my Mum leave the room.
I know I said I would be fine and that I understood why you had to do what you did. But I don't think I am anymore and I don't think I do. I want you to come back. I wish you would come back even just for five minutes and wrap your arms around my waist and bury your head in my neck and just hug me. That's the suckiest part of this shit. You're not here. But I am. All by myself, and it. sucks. shit.
Whenever I close my eyes, I see yours. Every night, you stare back at me in my mind and I wish that one day I could stay asleep forever so that you would always be here with me. Your lips haunt me every time I look at someone elses because I wish I was looking at yours and playing with your stupid little lip piercing. I walked past someone who had similar hair to yours the other day and I'm pretty sure I felt someone kick me in the chest with an iron boot. So thank you for that. To be quite honest, I really just miss your stupid face. And if this is what it's like just 12 days after you leave then I really, really, have no idea how I'm going to survive after a few months.
Please don't forget me.
Rhiley x.
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A/N: Hey guys!
Just to clarify, the letters between the two aren't being sent. They're just kind of writing them as a way to get everything they're feeling out. You'll know when they are sent or when they're read.
Love you's :)
<3
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