In retrospect, we were indeed truly in love with each other. Being in a naive phase of our teenage life, we were ill equipped to handle such an intense and dense love. That was why we were always feeling uptight. Clueless as to how we could secure a forever together. Everything that we are able to do, we have done it, even engaging in homosexual sex. We needed something concrete to solidify our promise to each other. Even something abstract may provide us some assurance.
Our English language teacher was to hold her wedding in a church near our school. Everyone were super elated, arriving very early to pack the church to its rim, hoping to catch a glimpse of the beautiful bride. Lu Feng dallied so we had to settle with standing right at the back near the doors.
It can be considered a blessing in disguise as we were able to avoid the eyes of the crowd. Lu Feng held my hand secretly. Whenever we hold hands, our ten fingers are intertwined tightly together allowing no space in between our palms.
Much later I came to a discernment that much like body language, the hands speak a language of their own. The temperature of the hands, the strength of the fingers, the positioning of the palms represents a lot. Our need to keep everything under wraps unlike other normal couples, has culminated in us being especially sensitive towards each other's affection.
" Mr XXX, would you take Miss XXX to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Lu Feng squeezed my hand and softly said: " I do. "
I too replied along with the bride: " I do."
It might seem so foolish and childish, but we were ever so serious.
Lu Feng held on to my hand with all his might.
Knowing that we will never have our own wedding, we could only pilfer the happiness belonging to others.
The bride and groom exchanged rings, but we had nothing like that on us. Lu Feng kept on rubbing on my ring finger, pinching it so intensely I almost had teary eyes.
Everything that occurred from then on happened so fast that we were caught totally unprepared.
T High School has an exemplary chemical faculty not only in its students but particularly in the form of its park which provides a much needed shelter for young couples in love. The school has a ban on dating on school camps, so not surprisingly, this goes unheeded repeatedly in this area.
On a relatively warm night, Lu Feng brought me discreetly to the field, found a large and dense tree with flowery bushes all over, and sat me down there.
" Well." An unusually awkward Lu Feng was stumbling all over his words. " I have something for you."
He searched for it in the inside of his jacket, his expression maintained some coolness but soon disintegrated into a hint of embarrassment just as his hand came out of his pocket.
" What kind of good stuff."
" It's not any good stuff." He forced himself to remain steady, " It's not worth much money.......... take a look, it's ok if you don't like it."
I glared at him : " You are wrapping it so tightly in your fist how am I going to see what it is."
Lu Feng let out a small yelp and opened his fist. It is so rare to see him lose that self-assured composure that I am quite enjoying this refreshing change. I stretched my head out for a closer look, under the dim street lights, I made out a pair of silvery white pair of rings lying on the palm of his hand.
Lu Feng coughed:" It is made of silver, inexpensive. If you find it suitable just put one on."
Seeing my inaction, he coughed again, speaking in a nonchalant manner: " If you don't like it just leave it. I bought it for fun. I also feel that the design is too outdated. That old silversmith has such poor eyesight and bad skills, probably not too smart as well, after requesting several times for a pair of man-styled rings did he finally understood, useless..........."
Mumbling to himself and not receiving any response, Lu Feng finally closed his mouth and pulled his hand away awkwardly.
" Lu Feng." I called out to him very softly.
" What." I could tell he sounded displeased.
I threw myself around his waist and buried my head deep inside his arms.
Teary and stuffy nose, I did not want him to see me being so ugly.
" What's wrong?" His voice becoming gentle, he stroked my head.
" I love you."
He stopped the movements of his hands to cup my face smudged with tears and raised my head up. " Silly, why are you crying! So ugly, are you still a man?"
My shoulders were heaving with sobs, completely unable to stop.
" Such a crybaby." Lu Feng lowered his voice, pressed his forehead against mine and whispered to me eye to eye, " So silly. I like you...... I like Cheng Yi Chen....... Lu Feng loves Cheng Yi Chen.........
What's there to cry about? I like you so much......... "
The ring fits perfectly on my finger, it feels icy cold on my skin, I squeezed it tightly on my finger: " Lu Feng, if there comes a day you don't want me anymore, please don't ask for the ring back, I can pay you for it, but just please don't take the ring back......"
His lips pressed down hard on mine, cutting me off.
I clenched my teeth, trembling slightly.
" Silly, still crying! Be good, don't bite on your teeth so hard...... " he coaxed and coerced me into loosening my jaw, " I like you so very much...... I want to be with you always........."
I grabbed onto his shoulders with fervor as I immersed myself in this soul-consuming kiss that no one else would once again be able to give me.
The beam from a torch shined on us, Lu Feng wrapped my head into his chest before I could even let out any sounds of surprise.
YOU ARE READING
A road trip to love (English trans)
RomantizmThe blind fortuneteller at the mouth of the alley said to me, "Your road of love is destined to be one that's rough. You shall be forever intertwined with a man, and there won't be a peaceful ending." I shoved my half-finished soda in his hands, pat...