Thank You, Universe

I Need To See Him

When we were on Earth and I was living in my shed I always felt like there was something missing. I would always read about love and relationships in novels. I thought that falling in love was something that only happened in fantasies.

And then I met him.

I truly met him. He wasn't just some annoying peer who always tried to one up me. No. He was so much more than that. Lance made me fall for him. Hard. And honestly, I'm not complaining. I got to know him. I'm getting to know each side of him. His vulnerabilities, his interests, things that he loves and things that he hates.

We've only been dating for three phoebs now but I really do feel loved. Some people say that they want their 'other half.' That they want someone that'll complete them. But that's not what I want. I'm one whole person, who wants another whole who will love and cherish them. Two beings in love living together with such perfect harmony it'll make any one pair jealous.

Lance gives me that. I can feel it. There are still things that I haven't told him and I can tell that there are things he's holding back on telling me. That's okay though, because I know that at some point our true selves will be out in the open for the other to see. And all of the secrets and baggage with it. Slowly but surely they'll seep out and into each other's hands, entrusting him to take care of them. To cherish them. And to still love them whole heartedly even after knowing every single thing. S

I feel something when Lance looks at me. It's like he's just radiating these positive emotions. And they're all faced towards me. There are so many that I can't pinpoint, most being new to me. Growing up I never experienced much love. I didn't get the pleasure of being happy every day. Or feelings so carefree that I could just laugh.

I never got that. I would sit and watch as other kids my age got that. Got the loving and accepting parents I always wanted. They were able to say that they grew up happy. By the time I was ten I had to grow up. I was forced to. Because that's just what I had to do to survive.

I wasn't treated like a person when I was in the system. But here, with my family, I'm finally on the receiving end of all that love I wanted growing up. And it's just so overwhelmingly perfect that I don't know what to do with myself.

Lance shows me that he loves me every day over and over again. He doesn't have to, I can already feel it just by the way he looks at me. But he does, and it's such a nice feeling that I don't think I'd ever be willing to let it go. To let him  go.

So lying in bed at two in the morning having just gasped awake, all I could think about was Lance. I wanted to see him. I needed to see him.

Pulling the covers over my body, I force myself to shakily stand. My knees wobble, almost buckling at my weight. Running a hand through my hair, feelings the sweat on my palm and fingertips from my forehead, I make my way out of my room.

The hallway lights light up when they sense me coming. I know it's late and Lance should be sleeping by now but I can't be bothered to worry about that.

In my nightmare, I watched as he slowly faded away from me. I was reaching out for him, trying to call out. Just to make any kind of sound. But I couldn't. I just stared at my boyfriend as he eventually left my sight. Doing absolutely nothing about it. So now I'm going to do something about it.

I just wanted to know that he's okay.
That's all that's on my mind right now.

Lance Lance Lance Lance

"Keith?"

'Oh. I guess I'm here already.'

I was leaning on the door frame, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark. "Hey Keithy, what's wrong?" I watched as Lance got out of bed and started to make his way over to me.

I choked on a sob as I ran forward, launching myself into his arms. "You're okay. What happened?" He shushed me gently, rocking us and smoothing our my hair as I cried into his arms. Eventually my sobs turned into whimpers and my whimpers turned into light sniffles.

"C'mon, lets go back to sleep," he brought us over to his bed and pushed the covers aside. Once we were settled in each other arms I snuggled into his side, basking in his warmth.

"Wanna tell me what happened now? Or do you wanna just go to sleep?" I thought about it, digging my face deeper into his side. "I had a nightmare. Watched as you left me. I had to see you. Wanted to make sure you were okay. Didn't want you to leave me again," I murmured, my words slurring together from the lack of sleep.

"Oh baby, no. I'm not gonna leave you. Ever, okay? I'm right here, right by your side. I love you too much to leave you alone." I smiled up at him. "Thanks Lance. Now sleep time." Lance just chuckled at my childish antics.

"Okay okay, it's sleep time. Good night darling. Love you."

"Night night Lance. Love you more."

This is short and sweet. Sorry for not updating in a while, school sucks. Anyway, I've been thinking about going on a hiatus for a while because of school and things. I might still post it'll just be longer so don't expect any new chapters. Stay safe, drink water.

I love y'all

-Lilflower🌸