Fallen Angel (Bruise Series #2)

05-

For the past 2 years of my stay here in the hospital didn't really cured my disease. It's like they give me this medicines that tolerates the pain I'm feeling, most of the time.

At saka, wala naman na akong rason para mabuhay diba? Kasi nung araw na namatay yung taong pinaka importante sa buhay ko, Parang namatay na rin ang puso ko.

I kept on living because I made a promise to him. Even though sinira nya yung promise nya saaking mabubuhay sha. I lost sight in this world, because the one who gives me strength died because of me.

I blamed myself from what happened to him. I blamed myself for his death. I lost my precious treasure in this world, and that's him.

Paano kung hindi kami lumabas nung araw na yun? mabubuhay pa kaya sha? Yes! Yes he will!

Once again I lost my faith in him, I don't believe in him anymore. I'm just continuing to live this pointless life because I don't wanna break my promise to him.

I stood, up and walked away from that man. Gosh, why would he call his self a fallen angel? Ano to Aasa nanaman ako sa isang pangakong mapapako rin sa huli?

hmm Nah, that hurts. So No.

"Hey!"Habol nya saakin. I faced him with an annoying look. "What?" inis kung tanong.

"What?" Pang-gagaya nya saakin. "Excuse me?!" inis na inis ko na ring sabi.

"Eh kasi naman ikaw! Excuse ka ng Excuse, Hindi naman crowded dito sa rooftop. At saka ang laki-laki ng daan, tapos mag E-Excuse ka pa? Bobo lang?" He touched the bridge of his nose, na para bang stress na stress sa mga pinagsasabi ko.

"Okay?! I don't fucking care about you, so just leave me alone!"I was shouting at him with all my might.

Umakto shang nasaktan sa sinabi ko. He held his chest, acting as if he's hurt. "Ouch naman! maka fucking ka naman jan, kinaganda mo ba yang pag-mumura mo?" Naka tingin lang ako ng masama sakanya, hoping I'd kill him with my stare.

"Tss, you don't care. And stop caring about it, Nakaka bwesit ka." With that tinalikuran ko na sha at bumaba na para pumasok sa kwarto ko. "That boy! Ughhh!!!" I shouted as soon as I entered my room.

"Maam?" Natigilan ako ng makita ang nurse sa harapan ko. I looked at her and gave her a serious look, "What?" I asked.

"Nag pa hangin nanaman po ba kayo sa rooftop? Mukhang napapadalas na po ang tambay nyo dun ah." Nginitian nya naman ako
"Can you stop caring about me? Mamatay din naman ako. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit pa ako nag sasayang ng pera sa letcheng hospital na to kung mamamatay rin lang naman ako!"Annoyed kung sabi.

The smile on her face suddenly fade away when I said that, "You have every reason to live Natalia" diretso nya akong tinignan. "I don't have any reason to live Ms.Cheng na nagmamagaling na nurse! You don't know anything about me! YOU'RE JUST A NURSE WHO GIVES ME WORTHLESS MEDICINES!" I was so frustrated about telling that to her.

I'm really frustrated in this pointless life I have, Frustrated that I might stick myself again to someone. I'm so frustrated that I don't wanna love anymore. Natatakot akong ma attach ulit sa isang bagay at masaktan ng paulit-ulit pag nawala sila ulit sa buhay ko.

Nakakapagod mag-mahal, Nakakatakot sumobok ulit.

Hindi ko na alam!

She gave me a smile "You know sometimes? We feel like the world is against to us. Masakit Oo, Pero How can we see the bright side of the world if we always dig our pasts? God is always there Natalia. You just have to tell him what you really feel. Remember that God will make you happy, but first He will make you strong. So just hold on to that okay?" She tapped my shoulder before walking away.