Inside the Asylum (Book 1)

Chapter 1 - The First Day

I've been here for almost 14 years. In Voltaire Asylum, the home to the crazy people, the people who they can't fix. They say I'm insane, everyone that works here that is. I promise you I am not crazy! They say I should have been left to die. They all hate me, I can see it in their eyes plus they prove it all the time, they try their best to hurt me, but they can't that's why I am here. They've always been rubbish at hiding their emotions. I can still remember the very day I was brought here. They proved they were nothing but pure evil that very first day!

14 Years Earlier

"Who is she?"

"She's the one.... the little girl we were told to find.... it's her. What do we do?"

I was just sitting there watching, there were all these men. I could hear them talking about me, but I could also hear the voices, they were inside my head, they would tell me to do things...bad things! I knew they were bad but when they spoke, they spoke with so much passion on whatever the topic that they could convince me to do anything. People don't ever believe me when I say that someone was telling me to do all those things, so I ended up in here. Home of the craziest people in the city.

Today

I was only 16 years old when they brought me here. I had been living with my best friend at the time but when I almost killed one of our other friends in a game of truth or dare they kicked me out and told me I was insane and to get out, it wasn't the first time it had happened either. I almost killed my little brother when I was about 12. I managed to get a hold of a firework and had dared him to hold it. It had ended up exploding right in his face and he had to go into hospital to have an operation which could have killed him. My parents told me to leave as soon as they took him to hospital. So yeah, I had been kicked out of two homes. That's when someone, I don't know who, phoned the local mental asylum and asked them to check me out.  When they finally found me, they said something wasn't right because I had mentioned something about hearing a voice. The workers at the asylum are horrible! They treat you like you aren't worth a second of their time. If you make them angry enough, they beat you or worse. They tried to kill me the first day I was here and all because I asked how long I was going to be stuck here for, they never did answer me.

It was raining that day. It was like a river rushing down from the sky. It was summer but it had been raining for weeks on end. I had been out on the streets for a few hours at most and I look like a drowned rat. The rain ran down my back causing me to shiver uncontrollably. As I had been walking all that time, I decided to have a seat. That was when they found me. Those horrible people that worked for the asylum. They came in that awful white van with padding all around their bodies. Their uniforms looked like someone had wanted to make anyone who wears them into a giant ugly teddy bear. They approached slowly at first then as they got closer, they became cockier and more moved faster. Soon they were less than a meter away, but they didn't seem to dare to move any closer. They just stood watching me, probably to see if I was going to do something that would harm them. I wasn't going to.  I just wanted to have a seat and to be left alone for a while to gather my thoughts. I never got that moment. Slowly they edged closer still watching me. I put my head down leaning on my knees and waited. I just wanted them to leave me alone. They wouldn't! The voices in my head kept saying to attack them but I was trying my best to ignore them. I didn't like hurting people! I tried my hardest but I couldn't help but want to do just that! They had a conversation about what they should do with me and then I heard the words I didn't want to hear.

"Let's take her in. They are waiting on her after all." I don't know who said it then, but I automatically hated them. How could they believe I was crazy I am a young girl only just a teenager? I had done nothing wrong. Not on purpose anyway! The first thing they made sure of was that I couldn't see them so I couldn't fight them as I wouldn't be able to see anything. Then they made sure to tie my hands and feet to stop me from lashing out. I felt helpless then. I still do now sometimes. The journey was long and cold on the floor in the back of that van. I had bruises for days after that because of being thrown across the back of that van. They were all over my shoulders and back, not that anyone within that ghastly building cared. They believed the more bruising the better.

My first night there was the worst thing I had ever experienced up to that point in my life. They put me in a cell, a padded room, from which I couldn't escape. I hadn't eaten anything all day and when they finally brought something, I ate it all before they had even stepped out of the room. They left me for hours with nothing to do or anyone to speak to, only the silence of my own room. I sat for so long counting each individual square of padding on the walls, the ceiling and the floor. I must have fallen asleep after a while as the next thing I remember is hearing the lock on the door being opened. Groggily, I sat up and saw a small woman, with piercing blue eyes. They were as blue as the sky on a clear sunny day, brown hair curling down past her shoulders, the black and white uniform with a red cross on the pocket on the right-hand side of her white apron. She was maybe in her 40s at most. Walking towards me alongside her was a tall, skinny man. He had a mask over his mouth and nose. His eyes looked wild and jet black like the blackest part of the universe. As they moved closer, I began to worry. Worry about what they were planning. I wish I had never found out! It was awful! The things they did still wake me up in the middle of the night screaming. Every night I have awful nightmares most of which are about that first day and night. I can't escape it! No matter how hard I try!

That First Night

I sat there too terrified to move. They knew I couldn't escape. They knew I wasn't able to stop them. No one would stop them no matter how much I screamed out for help. They had iron chains in their hands, which they had been hiding behind their backs until now, it was then I knew I was in trouble. They lay the chains in fort of me and watched my reaction. I didn't realise it then but that was only the first night of my torture. I sat there watching them, them watching me. They looked like they were trying to come up with the worst possible punishment for me.

"Don't worry dear." The woman said smiling a devilish smile.

"We're trying to help you. We are only doing what we have too to make you better and one day we will get through to you. It may take a day, it may take a year, it may take the rest of your life! But we will manage." Those words chilled me to the bone.

They started simple enough, they tied me up and beat me until I was lying on the ground close to death. They then waited until I gained some more consciousness just to start again, this time using their belts as whips, cracking across my face, stinging like a thousand wasps attacking me over and over. I could feel the tears storming down my cheeks, falling like a waterfall creating a pond at my side on the cold ground. When they finally left me, it was about 2 am the next morning, I couldn't move at all. Everything hurt and when I did try to move, to use the toilet, a bucket chained to the wall at the opposite side of the room, I collapsed as soon as I got to my feet. My body ached like a broken heart. The last thought I had that night was that I was sorry for all the pain I had caused and that I knew I deserved it. All of the pain I felt was the pain I had caused others within my short life so far.

When I woke up I was all alone again trapped in that bright white room. The room that I almost believed for a second was heaven. I thought I was dead. I soon realised that I was far beyond wrong. My throat felt scratchy and sore, from all the screams of terror from the night before.