Inside the Asylum (Book 1)

Chapter 28- Loneliness

The days pass slowly again. I miss having Max to talk to when I need him or when he needs me.

I knew they would separate us, but I didn't realise how I would feel after he was taken out. I felt like I was back, back to that 16-year-old girl that I was when I was first brought here. I no longer felt slightly protected.

I felt lost.

I felt alone.

I sat for what felt like an eternity waiting. I didn't even know what I was waiting for. Maybe I was waiting, hoping, for Max to come back. Maybe I was waiting for someone to tell me that someone had spoken to him and he was coming back or maybe I was waiting to see how long it would be until someone came to hurt me. Now Max wasn't here I was terrified they would start again even with the investigation.

None of that happened.

The time ticked by slowly.

Max was hopefully going to speak to the police. Then maybe all of this will be finally be over and I could have a normal life. I would be free! I could find a job! Although Max and Grace say that it is harder than it looks. I could do what I wanted when I wanted! So, I held onto hope one day I would be able to do all of those things.

Weeks past and still there was no news. I felt more and more lost. My hope was fading with every day. It felt less likely with every day that we would get out of here. My heart felt heavy. My mind raced hoping to find the answer to the many questions that turned inside my head.

The darkness I felt so long ago came rushing back. I felt its crushing weight on my chest. I felt the air being pushed from my lungs. I couldn't help but gasp.

For the first time in forever I kicked and screamed. Pounding the walls with my fists hoping someone could hear me. I knew they couldn't, but it was the only way I could let out the frustration and the pain I felt. After a while I couldn't cry anymore. My throat scratched from screaming.

I felt numb.

I felt nothing.

I needed to find out if anything was happening with the case. I needed to see Max.

Loneliness is a weird thing. Sometimes it's good for example if you need to think about something or you are tired. However, sometimes loneliness is the worst thing. You can fell very stressed or sad and feel like you need to talk to make yourself feel better. It is a dark hole that can be very hard to get out of, a slippery slope that pulls you further down. It can cause people to lose themselves.

But with the right people you can learn to climb back up.