Inside the Asylum (Book 1)

Chapter 23 - The Dullest Day

I didn't want to get up today. Today was going to be a bad day. Today was the funeral.

I sat in shock. From the moment Andrew told me I have sat here. He left me unchained in this hell. I could have walked out. I could have walked out a million times. But I stayed. I stayed. The pain was thicker than any or the walls or doors that surrounded me. I felt stuck. Trapped.

It was my fault.

He had been stuck here in this room because of me. He was tortured because of me. I could feel the grief and guilt eating at my insides.

Andrew opens the door ushering me back to my cell. They are letting me go to the funeral. Nick apparently wanted that. He had asked his mum just after they told him he had hypothermia. The walk back to my cell felt longer, darker. I had known loss. I had lost my whole life when I was brought here but losing Nick hurt as much as finding out about my dad. He was like family. We had been as close as Daniel and I had been.

When the door to my cell opens, I see Grace and Max all in black waiting.

"They will be coming with us." Andrew says as he shoos me towards the standing curtain. Grace helps me change into a plain black dress and fixes my hair into a simple bun.

The ride to the funeral was silent. We walk into the church Max takes my hand and squeezes it slightly. We sit at the back quietly when I see Nick's mum. She sees me and asks me to sit with her and Andrew.

"Thank you for coming. You were a big sister to him. He loved you so much." She said the tears threatening to fall down her face. I felt tears falling onto my cheeks and knew I was crying too.

The service was lovely. He would have loved it. Everyone was about to leave when the priest guy said that Nick wanted me to say the last few words. As the priest had put it.

"Nick wants his sister H to say a few words before everyone leaves." How was I meant to stand in front of all of these people and talk about him without crying? I look at Max, my hands shaking, he nods, and I know he believes in me. I stand up and walk to the front.

"Nick was someone very special in my life and in all of our lives. When he was little, he would always ask me to sit with him next to his window and we would look at the moon." I smile at the memory. "He had hoped that one day he could go there. He told me that if I ever felt alone, I was to look at it and if I hoped for the best then things would get better. He taught me not to give up and for that I will always be grateful. I love you Nick and I will see you again." I look up from the ground and see that everyone is stood with tears in their eyes. I look at Andrew and his mum and see that despite their grief they are smiling slightly. I feel my heart lift glad that I had made them proud.

I stand with Max and Grace waiting. Andrew is stood beside their mother thanking guests as they exit the church. A few people come over and talk to me about how lovely my speech was. I have to fight my tears all over again. I wanted to be back in the Asylum. I wanted to be there to be closer to Nick. It was the last place I had seen him. That was where I wanted to be. We were taken to a hotel where there were pictures of Nick. I stop dead when I see a photo I remember. It was a picture of Andrew, Nick, dad and me. We were at the play park. We couldn't have been older than 7 or 8. It was a time that was so simple. I stood there for the longest time. Max stood beside me; I think he knew it was me in the photo because he didn't ask anything. He just stood there beside me.

Eventually, we head back to the Asylum. I walk in a haze past my cell. Max, Grace and Andrew follow me without question through the blank corridors to the chamber. The last place I saw my 'little brother'.