Inside the Asylum (Book 1)

Chapter 9 - An Awkward Visit

When I awoke the next morning, I remembered the feeling of happiness, the wind, the sun, the joy of having freedom and the joy of having people to talk to and spend time with. I had loved every second.

A sudden chill flowed through my body as I wasn't sure what would happen after yesterday. Would it be similar, or would it be the same as before I met Grace? There were butterflies in my stomach, trying knots with my insides. I felt sick with nerves.

The lock clicked once again and for the first time in what felt like forever I was beyond uncomfortable. The next few seconds were excruciating. Then to my surprise in walks a girl my age, someone I had never seen before. Who was this? Why was she here? She glares at me as she walks in, however, once the door shut, she smiles. "Hi, sorry. Grace sent me. She asked me to tell you that her mum has been reassigned and won't be your nurse anymore. She wants to say she hopes you had a lovely day yesterday. She says that she was glad she could give you a day outside of this place. I hope you don't mind that she told me about you and how long you have been here. You are very brave! I know what happens here and you have been through so much. I don't know how you have managed to go through this for so long!" She exclaimed gasping.

I watch as she stands not sure what to do. I don't know what to say so I just watch her. She smiles then nods and without another word she leaves. I sit in silence trying to process what I had just been told. How could this happen?! Why had she been reassigned? This can't be happening! I had finally made a friend and for once someone cared for me, now that had been taken away from me. What had I ever done to deserve this? This isn't fair!

As I sat there, I started to cry. For the first time in 12 years I allowed myself to cry. I cried for the people I had made friends with and lost, I cried for the family that hadn't wanted me, I cried for the fact that I now didn't know what to expect. I felt lost and alone. I was so lost in thought I never noticed Grace coming in.

"Hey." She said as she shut the door behind her.

"Grace!" I said as I finally noticed her. "Thank you so much for yesterday! I had the best time! Your family made that happen for me! And that means the absolute world to me! I will remember that for the rest of my life. Please tell Max and your mum and Jack I say thank you for everything they have done for me!" I smiled at her and watch her blush as I thank her. She laughs sitting on the floor next to me.

"He likes you; you know. Max, I mean so he will probably come and visit." She stops and looks at me expecting a reaction.

"You must be joking! He only met me yesterday! Why would he like me? I mean look at me! According to everyone here I am insane. So why would he ever like me? The crazy psychopath." I say trying not to show the disappointment I felt, towards the fact I knew no-one would like me. Not while I was in here. Clearly, I was failing on hiding it, Grace laughs knowing I was lying to her but doesn't say anything. She then removed the backpack that I hadn't noticed until she sat it on the floor in front of us both. It was a deep blue colour with tiny white stars all over it with the planets and sun on it as well. It looked very pretty. She wore black high waist jeans and a red crop top which had the word 'Love' written in white. She had done her make-up with natural eye shadow which made her look like her eyes were more defined than usual. I took in as much as I could of the details so I would remember as much of her as I could when I was alone. I always did this with everything I looked at. I wanted to remember as much as possible because I didn't want to forget my friend or the outside world.

2 Months Later

Grace came in and decided to tell me a story about what was going on outside and that it was raining and cold, winter. As I sat there, I heard a voice outside the door. I didn't know who it was, and I was too busy focusing on Grace's story about her sister to care all that much. As Grace continued to tease me over the fact, she believed that her brother liked me and how "clearly" I liked him, not that I did. I heard the door click open and jumped but didn't turn around too scared to find out who was behind me. Grace smiled at whoever it was then continued to talk to me. Whoever it is walks around me sits down. Only then do I notice it was Max. He meets my gaze and smiles and nods his head slightly. I look down feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. Grace giggles clearly amused by my embarrassment. She and Max had been coming to visit me as much as they could over the past few weeks. Slowly she gets up.

"Sorry. I have to go; I have to give one of my patients their medicine. I'll be back later and if not, I'll see you soon." She smiles then disappears through the door.

I sit awkwardly staring at the floor unsure what to do. Max sat quietly watching me as I tried to think of something to do or say.... The problem was I couldn't think of anything. Five minutes passed and the silence continued I looked up at Max and see him looking at me.

"So..." I said awkwardly. He looks at me smiles then looks back down at the floor. Another few minutes pass then he looks at me again.

"I was wandering if you would want to go back outside again some time. They told me earlier today that I'm aloud to take you out because they said I'm 'trusting' and they believe you won't try to kill me." He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I would love to! I loved when I got to go last time! Being outside was amazing and I realised just how nice it feels to have people who care about me. So, thank you!" I smiled and watched him blush. He looked down at the floor again then quietly says, "Of course people care about you! My family care about you. Grace cares about you. I care about you." He stopped realising what he had said then blushes while staring hard at the floor.

He looked cute.

Stop I told myself. I couldn't think like that about Max! He is Grace's brother! I couldn't! It was wrong.

The problem was I really liked Max. He had done so much for me and I was so beyond grateful for that. Since that day had been so great, I couldn't wait to go outside this dreadful place with Max. I was so excited! I was already planning questions to ask Max. I was so happy.

Max stayed for the rest of the day and I continued to learn more about him. For example, he liked old music from the 20's all the way to the 60's as well as some from the 80's. He also likes the same movies as me, not that I have seen any recent ones. We talked for hours until my eyes felt heavy and Max let me curl up next to him and use his chest as a pillow, the rhythm of his heartbeat gave my mind peace and soon my mind was clear.

I fell asleep.