Shadow

Chapter 15

"Zillah... do you want help?"

I open the door to see Zach standing there, "I can't reach my back... so yeah."

Zach comes in, "sit down and I'll help you."

I sit down, keeping the towel close to my chest. I had put on sweatpants, the leg injury is easier to take care of than the one on my back. I stare at the floor, thinking about everything. I hope we will be able to solve this mess before it gets worse. I don't feel like having to be more careful because Te Deum was able to put a hit on me. Others who are alive that know I know information could have done it but even then, I am sure they don't know everything that I know at the moment.

"Zillah?"

I look up at Zach, taking the shirt from him, "thanks..."

I put it on and he wraps his arms around me, "hey... it isn't your fault."

I wrap my arms around him, "I know... but if I had moved... I could have stopped Te Deum from being killed."

"Then it would have been you. Damen, Nakoa, and Cathan had told Kyrell and Zoella what happened."

"But then maybe Elinor-"

"Leyla... she is alive."

"Barely."

"I know... but she is alive."

"I... I have to tell Rowan. I-I tried. Zach. I-I tried," tears running down my face as I bury it into Zach's chest even more, "I tried."

"I know... we all know."

I stand there crying, feeling completely vulnerable. Zach holds me, trying to get me to stop. When I finally do there is a knock at the door before Tilly walks in. She comes over and looks at me, the small smile on her face vanishing. When I look at her it feels as though all the pain I am feeling is being mirrored back to me.

"I got lunch... and someone wanted to come and make sure you were okay."

Zach lets me go and I make my way out. I look at Rowan. Everything that I want to say gets stuck in my throat at the sight of him. He is a mess, his hair is all over the place, and clothes are wrinkled. He looks as though he hasn't left her side since she got here. Yet, here he is. Coming to make sure that I am okay while Elinor lies in a bed, dying.

"Rowan-"

He pulls me in a hug, "glad you are alright."

"I-I'm so sorry. I-"

"Nakoa said if you didn't get to her when you did she would have been dead before they got here."

"But-"

"You made tomorrow night possible." Rowan pulls away from me and gives me a small smile, "I should leave so you can eat... I also said I would go change."

I look at him, "yeah... see you tomorrow night."

He walks to the door, "if you don't show up, I will be very worried..."

He goes out and Tilly comes over to me, "let's eat... I got your favorite."

Despite it being orange chicken with white rice I don't eat much of it. Tilly leaves after a few and I go to bed. It takes a while to go to sleep but when I do I can't escape my thoughts. I wake back up in the Snowy Angel, I look up and see Elinor.

"Why Zillah? Why didn't you stop her? You let this happen to me? Why?"

"Elinor... I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

"You did this to me. Why?"

I scream as I watch her fall to her knees. No matter how hard I try, I can't get to her to help her. I wake up and Zach holds me close to him. He kisses the top of my head. We both know that it won't stop until Elinor has told me that it wasn't my fault, even then. I still feel guilty. If only I had thought that they wouldn't have realized that there was another way to set the bombs off.