Ignite

Chapter 6

"Were you trying to start a fight at school today?"

It's the evening and I'm standing in Jake's bedroom door as he sprawls across the bed, staring at his phone.

"No. Why?"

He doesn't even look up as he speaks, and it makes me want to scream.

Things had already been sufficiently awful this afternoon. Sylvia had remained furious throughout dinner, only conversing in monosyllables and grunts, while Peter told terrible old-man jokes.

Jake and I weren't used to adults paying attention to our mistakes, so neither of us knew how to deal with their reactions, but I did know how to deal with Jake's. And a moody, hissy-fitting Jake was one to confront head on.

"Because Lewis Kozak said you were."

That gets his attention, and he squints up at me, eyes trailing my expression.

"Who's Lewis Kozak?"

"Are you joking?"

Jake continues to stare at me, and I realise, distressingly, that he isn't joking at all.

"Lewis Kozak's the guy I pulled off you today!"

"Oh." Jake's face darkens, and he turns away again. "I didn't realise you two were so close."

His tone is bitter enough that I step inside and close the door behind me. If I lived in a perfect world, I would've had the opportunity to slam it for dramatic effect, but Sylvia has gone to bed already and I can't imagine that startling her awake would improve her mood.

"Jake, what's going on? Why are you so angry?"

Something twitches in Jake's face, some impulse he's trying to bite down.

"I'm not angry," he mutters.

I stand there, waiting for him to elaborate, but he just scrolls through his phone. It annoys me enough that I stride across the room and grab it from him.

"Hey!"

Jake lunges forward, but I step back, holding his phone out of reach. We both know that if he got up, he'd reach it easily, but he doesn't.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I try again.

"Go away, Claude. I don't want to talk about it."

I watch him for a moment, and I can see the beginnings of a wicked bruise grazing his cheek, a gentle swelling along his jaw.

"Don't want to talk about what? What happened today?"

"Nothing," Jake says through his teeth. "Just leave it."

If it'd been a year ago, and we were still living in Bellbird Creek, I probably would've left it. I would've walked out the door, cursing Jake as I went, and waited in my room for him to calm down and apologise.

But there was something about this city, about the distance it'd created between us, that made me think he wouldn't do that here.

"I'm not going to," I snap childishly. "I'm going to stay here until you tell me what's wrong."

Jake looks up at me, and his expression becomes furious so quickly that I don't have time to step back before he's up and shoving me away.

"God, Claude! Can't you ever let anything go? Just leave me alone!"

"What's going on?" I shout. "Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not being like anything! I'm just sick of you always interfering in my life. I don't need you defending me, I don't need to talk about my problems. You're not Mum, okay? Stop trying to be!"

I stare at him, and for the first time, disgust flows through me.

"Is that what this is about? You're angry because I tried to help you today? Jake, you were getting pulverised. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were SUPPOSED TO LEAVE IT!"

We both freeze, our eyes jerking to the door.

Jake's voice had risen to a scream and we wait for Sylvia's curses to start flying, for feet to pound down the corridor. But when the sound doesn't come, Jake turns back to me, and the hatred in his eyes makes me want to disappear.

"Just leave, Claude. I don't want to be around you right now."

His words are like knives to my heart, but I won't let him think we're better off when we're not talking, when we're pushing each other away and praying that'll push the memories away too.

"If I hadn't helped you today, you could've been hurt, Jakey," I say, "really hurt."

"Have you considered that maybe that was the plan?" Jake snaps. "Have you ever thought that maybe that's exactly what I deserve, and you fucked it up for me?"

My mouth drops open and for a moment I'm back in Melbourne's community hall, listening as the death toll is read out, as the names of people I know are thrown into an impersonal, unending list. Suddenly, Jake's on that list too and I can't think, I can't even breathe.

"You... you wanted that?"

When I look at Jake, the uncertainty I was hoping to see is completely absent, and it makes my vision go red. It makes my heart flood with anger and hurt and fear.

"How could you want that?"

My question only makes Jake close off further, and he steps back, dropping onto the bed and hiding his face from me.

"Just go, Claude," he says, and the tone of his voice breaks my heart.

"Jake—" I try again, but my voice is growing weak, the fight dying inside me.

"Please," he says, and the word drags out through his teeth. "Please. I need you to go."

I stare at him, terrified that I won't actually be able to move. But then I'm walking to the door. Jake's eyes follow me the entire way, his relief filling up the space I've left as I open the door and enter the corridor.

I stand there quietly, trying to make sense of everything when I realise the door down the hall isn't shut like it's supposed to be.

Instead, it hangs half open, and Sylvia is hovering there with a horrified expression, half-in and half-out.

"Claudia—"

"Don't, Sylvia. Not now."

And then I walk into my room and fall onto my bed, smothering my face in my pillow to stifle my sobs.

...

Oh dear 😞maybe Jake isn't as stable as he's trying to be.

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- Skylar xx