A big mess

5 months later

Elvis finally felt part of the family again. They loved being back together and they were making sure it was going to last forever this time. Georgie was sitting downstairs with her mum whilst everyone else was at work. "You alright George?" She asked as Georgie just looked at the coffee Grace had put on the table in front of her. "I've done something stupid" she said "it can't be that bad come on talk to me" she said "I can't drink this" she said pushing the coffee away from her "you have to have coffee before you get ready" said Grace "I'm pregnant" she said emotionless "pregnant?" She asked "you're going to Syria in 3 days Georgie" she said "I know, that's why I have an appointment booked" she said "an appointment for what?" She asked "for an abortion" she said tears running down her cheeks "oh Georgie please think this through before you do it" she said "I have thought it through. I've known for over a week, I wasn't going to tell anyone but I could really do with you there" she cried Grace walked over to her daughter and held her tightly "it's going to be alright George, it's going to be alright" she said kissing her cheek "does Elvis not know?" She asked Georgie shook her head "I know he'll want to keep it" she said "and I feel so guilty for not telling him but I can't mum I don't know how to" she cried "you have to tell him, this will end things if you don't and it doesn't matter how much he wants kids with you, he will support you, he loves you" she said Georgie nodded "I know" she said wiping her eyes. "Tell him tonight" she said "I can't" she said "why?" Grace asked "my appointment is at 3:30" she said "oh Georgie" said Grace "I have really fucked up haven't I?" She asked Grace nodded "you have made a bit of a mess" she smiled. "I'm going to go and get dressed" she said "Georgie" said Grace as she was halfway up the stairs "yeah" she said "there is a part of you that wants it isn't there?" She asked Georgie didn't know what to say "why would you say that?" Georgie asked "because you wouldn't drink your coffee, you don't want to hurt it" she said Georgie took a deep breath "I just don't want it to suffer, it's still my baby mum" she said Grace nodded "exactly George, it's still your baby" she said just then Elvis walked in "what are you doing home?" Georgie asked "finished early" he said "what's wrong?" He asked "nothing, I'm fine, just that time of the month" she smiled walking upstairs Elvis made a coffee and one for Georgie and walked upstairs "here" he smiled sitting down on her bed with her "I'm okay thank you" she said "you love coffee" he said "I'm not feeling it today" she said "what's happened? What's wrong?" He asked Georgie took a deep breath "I'll be back in a minute I just need to grab something" she said he nodded as she walked downstairs "what do I say mum?" She asked tears running down her cheeks "you tell him like you told me" she said Georgie shook her head "I don't want to hurt him" she said "you're not hurting him" she said Georgie walked towards the stairs again "remember Georgie, it's still your baby" she said little did they know Elvis was at the top of the stairs "you're pregnant?" He asked Georgie just stood on the third step tears falling down her face "I can't have a baby Elvis" she cried he walked downstairs and sat on the step taking her into his arms "it's alright George, it's alright I've got you, everything's going to be alright" he said rubbing her back holding her close "I've got you" he repeated kissing her head she just held him tightly crying into his chest. "You weren't going to tell me were you?" He asked "I was, I came down to ask my mum how I was supposed to tell you" she cried "I can't do it, I can't do it Elvis" she cried shaking her head "you can do it Georgie of course you can do it" he said "maybe it's that you don't want to though" he said she just looked up at him tears falling he had never seen her look so desperate for help. "It's alright, you don't have to want to be a mum, I know you're not the motherly type George and I never expected you to be" he said she sat back and took a deep breath "it's not that I'm not motherly. I do want kids, one day, with you but not now Elvis, I can't leave my job and I'm not ready, we don't have a house or anything" she said he smiled "you don't have to explain yourself, it's your choice" he said "I need to explain myself though because I feel so guilty" she cried "oh Georgie, this isn't your fault" he said "it is though isn't it" she cried "no it's not, don't tell yourself that" he said "It doesn't matter who's fault it is now, it's done" she said "what are you doing about Syria?" He asked "I'm going to Syria" she said. By this point Grace had walked away. "Have you got an appointment?" He asked she nodded "today at 3:30" she said "oh Georgie what are we going to do with you ah? Do you want me to come?" He asked she hesitated and then nodded "alright sweetheart" he said kissing her head holding her close. 2:30 soon came around and Grace walked upstairs to Georgie and Elvis laying on the bed together. "Are you alright sweetheart?" Her mum asked poking her head around the door Georgie nodded "I suppose we better go then" Elvis said sitting up looking at Georgie she nodded and sat up her mum could see she'd been crying. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Grace asked sitting on the end of her bed "I'm sure it's what's best" she said "that wasn't the question George" she said "what I want is the life I had planned, and this wasn't in the life I had planned" she said Elvis held her hand "not everything needs to be planned" Elvis said she just looked at her hands in his and then put her hand on her stomach "I'm not ready for this" she said he nodded "and that's okay" he said she smiled "thank you, I really did think this was going to end differently" she said "listen to me, I want kids, one day, with you, but not until you're ready, when you're ready we will have an amazing family" he said she nodded as tears streamed down her face. "Am I going to feel guilty after this mum?" She asked "I don't know Georgie sweetheart, I don't know, that's going to be a risk you take love" she said Georgie nodded "we better go" she said standing up Elvis nodded and stood up slowly after her. "Georgie sweetheart promise me your job isn't the one thing holding you back from having a baby" he said as they got in the car "no, no I just, I'm not ready to be a mum, I can't give a baby what it needs" she said "is this what this is all about? You don't think you're going to be any good as a mum?" He asked "can we just go please, I'm going to be late" she said quietly Elvis nodded and started the car driving to the clinic. He put his hand on her thigh but didn't look at her "by the way Georgie, you'd  be a fantastic mum" he said "you are a fantastic dad, you're so brave, you stepped up to the plate when you found out about Laura" she said "I didn't have a choice, she was already born" he said "and it's different for me George" he said "why? At least you're a good parent" she said "She doesn't live with me, I don't have half the responsibility of that child. I don't know what I'd be like as a full time dad Georgie, I got to carry on, like normal, my work, fitness level, which you know you'd lose pregnant, I didn't have to go through anything and you, you know you'd have to go through shit Georgie, you know you've got that responsibility for life, but I'm here, and I promise I'm staying right here" he said holding her hand tightly "I applaud you for what you do, having Laura accepting her without any thought..." she started "you'd do the same, when you have a baby, well, they're your everything and you know you'd do the same" he said she nodded "I just don't want to give up what I have Elvis, and I know that is so selfish because so many people dream of what I've got right now" she said tears in her eyes "that's not selfish people have different wants and it just happens that yours isn't a baby" he said she just looked out of the window at the clinic "do you still want to do this?" He asked she nodded slowly opening her car door. Elvis got out and they walked towards the clinic 20 minutes before her appointment time. Georgie stopped at the door and Elvis held her hand "I'm here" he said she nodded and they walked in together. She walked over to the desk and smiled through the tears at the lady behind it "Georgie, Georgie Lane" she said the lady smiled and nodded "you're all booked in take a seat, they'll shout you when they're ready" she smiled Georgie nodded and sat down with Elvis. He put his arm around her and held her close "it's alright Georgie, it's going to be alright" he said kissing her head. "Just think, this time next week, you'll be in Syria, fighting off all those baddies, saving lives, you'll be Georgie Lane again" he smiled trying to lighten her up "I guess so" she said "Georgie please don't do this if you don't want this" he said "I just feel terrible" she said "I know honey, but we will get you sorted" he said she nodded "if i was to have a baby could I still go to Syria it's only for 4 weeks" she said "Georgie you know you can't" he said she nodded "do you want to keep it?" He asked she shook her head and then the doctor called her name, her heart started racing Elvis could tell she was panicking "George, come on" he said she stood up and held his hand "can he come with me?" She asked tears in her eyes the doctor nodded "of course he can" he smiled she nodded and Elvis held her tightly as they walked in. "I just need to talk you through the procedure" said the doctor "please, don't, just do it" she said taking a deep breath "we have to" he said "I don't want to, surely you have to respect patients wishes" she said he nodded "alright, alright Georgie why don't you go and put this on" he said passing her a gown she got up and walked into the bathroom getting changed "ready?" He asked as she walked back in Georgie got on the bed and Elvis held her hands she looked at him, it was a glance, almost desperate looking "stop, she doesn't want to do this" Elvis said "I'm sorry" said the doctor confused "she doesn't want to do it, she's only doing it because she can't do her job pregnant, look at her face she's terrified, and not terrified of having an abortion but terrified of losing her baby" he said "Georgie please do what you want but this isn't what you want don't tell yourself otherwise" he said she just sat looking at him her legs not even open "Elvis, I know you want this baby..." she started "I don't care about what I want Georgie, I care about what's best for you, that's what I've always cared about and you won't live with yourself knowing you did this, I know you won't Georgie" he said she nodded "your right" she said putting her head in her hands "I'm sorry for wasting your time" she said "I'm sorry can you wait outside please" the doctor said to Elvis Georgie looked at him still holding his hand and nodded he headed out and sat in the waiting room. "I'm going to leave and let you have a chat with the nurse" he said Georgie just watched him leave and the young girl sat next to her "He's not pressuring you to have this baby is he?" She asked sitting next to Georgie "actually I'd say he's doing the opposite" she said "he's always wanted what's best for me" she said the nurse nodded "we were engaged, he left me at the alter, broke my heart, he only left because he put his daughter first, a daughter that he didn't even know existed, and no he didn't cheat before assumptions are made" she said "anyway, I was held hostage in Afghan a year later and he rescued me, I slapped him, straight across the face, then somehow, I'd like to say I fell in love all over again but I didn't, I never fell out of love" she said the nurse held her hand "he'd do anything for me, he even offered to quit his job, train soldiers here in the UK, that was when I knew he would do anything because his job means everything to him, he's like me" she said "is that why you wanted this?" She asked Georgie nodded "my job means everything to me" she said the nurse nodded "you have to ask yourself if your job is more important than your baby, and if it is then lay back down on that bed and we will fix this problem" she said "it's not a problem, it's my baby" she said placing her hand on her stomach "I want kids, with him, he's an amazing dad, he's an amazing person, he really is my soulmate" she said the nurse smiled "do you have kids? You look really young" Georgie said "I have a little girl, her names Sophie" she smiled "she'll be 1 next month" she said "was she planned?" Georgie asked "no, no she wasn't actually, I'm only 23 I don't have a partner, I was raped" she said "I'm so sorry" Georgie said showing remorse for her questions "no, you carry on, I want to help you" she said "you don't mind talking about it?" Georgie asked "not if it helps you" she smiled "was it the right choice? Keeping her?" She asked "of course it was, she is the best thing that ever happened to me" she said Georgie nodded "I just wish I could do both" she smiled "maybe you can, just take these 9 months off and then see about going back to work" she said "I can't do that, I can't afford 9 months off, we get paid £23,000 a year not 60" she said "and he's got to stop he won't leave me not for that long. Not pregnant I know he won't even if I insist" she said "he said he'd train soldiers" she said Georgie nodded "I know" she said looking at her hands "look I'm not supposed to say this, but I don't think you should abort this baby" she said "me either" Georgie said the nurse smiled "thank you" Georgie said "go on, go and get changed" she smiled Georgie walked and got changed and then headed out to Elvis "I didn't do it" Georgie said quietly "I'm still pregnant" she added Elvis smiled "is this what you want?" He asked she nodded slowly "it's not what I planned, but hey not everything's planned" she smiled the nurse smiled at her from the door and she put her hand up as they walked away. "We're going to have a baby" said Georgie as they got in the car Elvis just looked at her and Georgie smiled "I'm going to be alright, don't worry about me" she smiled he smiled "I'll always worry about you" he said she smiled and held his hand all the way home. They got out at the cafe and picked up 3 coffees and headed home. Grace was sitting on the sofa when they walked in she got up to see Georgie and Elvis with coffee "hi mum" Georgie smiled "hi darling" she smiled "here" Georgie smiled passing her coffee "this ones mine, thank you" she smiled taking the one from Elvis which had decaf written on the front "decaf?" Her mum asked "I didn't do it, I'm still pregnant" she said almost emotionless. Grace just took her into her arms and hugged her "you're going to be a fantastic mum" she smiled "let's hope so ah, because in 6 months I'm going to have a baby" she smiled "6 months?" Asked her mum Georgie nodded "I'm 12 weeks pregnant" she said Grace smiled hugging Georgie "I love you so much, we're going to look after you I promise" she smiled Georgie smiled "I know you will, you always do" she smiled holding Elvis's hand still hugging her mum.