Confessions of a Killer

35 'Mine'

Song: Church by Fall out boy

Charlotte:

The tower is an experience I will never forget for as long as I live.

Ariel's brazen remarks about Maguire's mouth looking pretty; Maggie's growling protests as Damien joined in; Jasper, familiarly quiet, yet laughing at their antics; all amid the sounds of rapid gunfire, the near ear splitting sound of the rifles we used, and the cacophony of battle below us. It was just like being at war again, it felt like home, even with the gaping hole in our broken unit.

It must be strange to normal people, thinking that being at war is home. Those are probably the same people who are able to go home every night and find peace in their own space. Able to get past the small disturbances of their day without the crushing and debilitating sense that they aren't enough. Perhaps there are people who feel like I do... I can only hope they can find their own Mecca. Their safe space as I have.

The only peace I have ever known is with these men. Giving everything I am to Damien is a whole new level of serenity that I plan to explore with alacrity and abandon.

The fight outside died down as the sun set, the guys around me joked and reamed each other in jest enough to make the entire afternoon turning into evening one filled with mirth. My sides hurt with the amount of laughing I did between shots, only getting distracted by Damien shooting, eh, only a few times.

I have one fucking hot mate.

His kill count rivaled mine. His brow would marginally furrow in concentration as he closed one eye. His large body languid as the recoil of his rifle met hard muscle like a hammer slamming on rubber; he seemed unperturbed by the kickback as his muscles absorbed the tension.

Holy shit, I've never seen it happen so smoothly. Jasper is good; but not that good.

Many of the remaining rats had retreated, the few left behind either maimed or dying. The sounds of battle had dissipated leaving only pained moans and the those of our people cleaning up the grounds coming through the opened windows.

We took this time to clean our weapons. Going slowly, enjoying each others company as we would have years before.

Damien is right: We have to take care of the ones who are alive; the ones with us now. Getting lost in a sea of grief will never help anyone.

As I look at the men angled in different directions around me a surge of warmth implodes inside my chest. These are my people. My friends; my family. Fighting with me against a common foe once again with the addition of Damien; their previous unit leader. Their Alpha. My mate. My world.

I catch his eye, watching, fascinated as amber orbs twinkled in the setting sun, their golden center shining around his iris with an inner light forged from working through hard times and always coming out on top.

They shone almost as if he heard every word I'd thought in my head and enjoyed every one. If I'm honest he probably did. The hours of bantering back and forth while we defended our proverbial fortress had forged a new bond; one that I hoped could never be broken. I don't want to ever be without these men again.

I'm finally home.

I never thought I would be able to say that.