My Beautiful One (Jonathan Morgenstern Fanfic)

Fighting Chance

"And he said son when you grow up will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"

--Welcome To The Black Parade, My Chemical Romance

(Italic fonts are Jon's memories again)

___________________

NOVEMBER 2008

"Father, I don't understand."

The young boy with dark eyes sat beside his father, feeling the cool grass, damp with dew, beneath his fingers. A crown of pale unruly hair sat atop his head, windblown and wild. The boy looked so much like his father except for a glint of malice that was constant in his eyes that lacked compassion.

The boy was only six but his mind was matured beyond his years. Dark, confusing thoughts clouded his mind now as he looked to his father to explain the few things he could not understand.

They sat at the edge of a plunging cliff, the cool spring air blowing their hair across their faces. His father stared out at Alicante that was a small cluster of buildings and beautiful towers made of glowing glass in the distance. The sunlight bounced of the demon ward towers like they were diamonds and Jonathan had never seen such a beautiful sight.

His father looked at him with his own endless black eyes. "What's there not to understand, Jonathan?" His tone was almost exasperated, as if Jonathan were a very stupid child who kept repeating the same question.

And in his father's eyes he saw the one thing that was constant--disappointment. Jonathan shrugged it off. As long as he was pleased with himself, there was no need for the world's opinion.

"You said I have a mother. And aren't all mother's supposed to always be there for their children? Where is mine?" Jonathan stood, yanking blades of grass from the ground savagely as he did. He inched closer to the edge of the cliff, where the wind was stronger.

For a moment, Jonathan considered falling. He imagined the wind in his hair and eyes as he plunged a hundred feet downwards. How it must have felt like to tumble through the air...to feel as if he could fly....

"Your mother ran away,"

Jonathan turned to look at his father, his eyebrows knitting together. "Is she coming back?"

His father's features turned bitter. "No, Jonathan. She isn't ever coming back."

"Why?" The words rang with the innocent curiosity of a child but deeper questions brewed in his mind. Could he go find her? Would she come back if Jonathan was the one to coax her home? Could they be a family?

His father's face was then wiped clean of any emotions. "Because of you, Jonathan. She isn't ever coming back because of the monster you are."

All further questions dissappeared from Jonathan's mind, his mouth pulling into a frown as comprehension settled in him like a dark weight.

Anger and hatred filled him like a silent, deadly storm. They were foreign feelings to him but they did not bother him like how they would other six year olds.

Silently, he turned, facing the edge of the cliff again and sat himself there, letting the wind blow his thoughts away.

Jonathan blinked away the memory and gazed downwards at the picture of his father in one of Circle group photos again.

Valentine's arms were wrapped around Jocelyn as he stood up between Lucian Graymark and Hodge Starkweather. Both two people Jonathan had flung a dagger at. One of them he had killed.