Coming Back To Where It All Began (Book 2 Of Diaries)

Chapter XXVI

~Month 8~

Adam's pov

I huffed softly as I looked at my sword. I grabbed it and threw it into the wall, hearing the sword go straight into the wall. I looked at my door and saw that John was there. "John I'm sorry you had to see that, I'm just not in a good mood right now." I said to him softly. He nodded looking at me.

"I would be mad too at myself if I did the stuff you did. But it's the past." "And it haunts me. John you don't understand. I hear things... I hear my dad's voice cursing me and wishing I was the one dead, instead of my wife. He even said that if he could, he would kill my first born." I said to John, feeling hot tears come from my eyes.

Then I got really panicky. John and a couple others of my guards had to comfort me. "W-what if he tries to kill my only son...?" I asked weakly. "He won't, I have faith that he won't." John said rubbing my back. "I miss my son..."

~later, warning there will be topics of self harm~

After what had happened, I sat in my bed thinking. The guards think it's safer for me to be alone and not to have any sharp items with me. It's because I've thought about harming myself. Though it wasn't really me. It wasn't depression or anything like that. It was because of guilt. I felt guilty for what I did to my dad and I felt bad for what I did to Nasir.

He's been lied to his whole life and it's eating me away. "I wish I never lied to him." I said quietly to myself. My wishes don't come true. That can't change the past and that's okay. I need time to think. So please, leave.