Vapor

Chapter Fifteen

Hey guys! Since I did two small chapters last time, this is one mega chapter.... Sorry if it sucks, but stuff is happeninggggg

Also extra long for Rudy's Birthday!!

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Mentions of violence, abuse, anxiety, and ptsd like symptoms

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I laid in bed with JJ. He was curled up next to me, fast asleep. I watched him carefully, reliving the memories in my head. How could I just freeze like that? How could I let him put himself in danger to protect me. He could've gotten seriously hurt. I listened to him stir a bit in his sleep, his arms reaching out for me. I sighed and allowed myself to feel him against my skin. He pulled me into his chest and I closed my eyes, taking in every aspect of him. I needed to stop punishing myself for something that happened to me when I was a kid.

The morning light filtered through the window and woke me up. I tried to grab JJ, but he wasn't by my side. Panic started to take over. What if the wound got worse? What if he had to go to the hospital? I shot out of bed and walked out into the living room. J was turning the corner, probably on his way back to bed when he saw me. He saw the worry on my face and gave me a quick kiss. I relaxed and wrapped my arms around his waist. He reassured me that he was fine and placed his chin on my head.

"You're so worried, baby girl," he muttered. "I'm really fine, I promise."

I nodded and pressed my head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. He was very much alive and right in front of me. I worried that one day he wouldn't be. I clung to his chest and he chuckled softly.

"C'mon princess," he said. "I wanna go back to sleep for a bit."

I let out a yawn and nodded, knowing that I hadn't slept nearly enough. I followed him into the guest room and felt him pull me into the bed. He placed light kisses all over me and then held me tightly, closing his eyes. I followed suit and drifted off.

The rest of the day was chaotic. The guys were multitasking between coming up with a pulley system and melting down the bars of gold that John had managed to get his hands on. I didn't do much to help though. I was too distracted by all the thoughts running through my head. I felt JJ's arms wrap around me.

"You know I'm fine, right?" he asked. I nodded. "You need to stop blaming yourself." "But it's my fault J," I said. "I froze!"

His lips met mine in a comforting way. He told me to shut up and held me against him. He told me to stop feeling guilty all the time. His blue eyes showed no sense of blame in them, just love. I nodded and opened my mouth to tell him I loved him, but the words wouldn't come out. I wanted it to be special, just the two of us. I smiled to myself, promising that I would tell him tonight.

After the gold was "melted" down, we climbed into the van and headed towards the pawn shop. I listened to Kiara and JJ bicker back in forth about the melt job. I chuckled as Sarah asked me if they were always like this. I nodded and gave JJ's hand a squeeze. He winked at me while Pope told him he got this job because he was the best liar. They weren't wrong, but his lies sounded so sweet so how could I hold that against him.

I walked around the shop, trying not to focus on the transaction that was trying to be made between JJ and the worker. I knew that I would be stressed out if I heard what was going on. I turned to see the women walking into a backroom. JJ walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

"We're gonna be rich," he muttered to me. I chuckled at him. He looked so eager and excited. I giggled and pushed him back towards the counter. He smirked at me over his shoulder and I knew how was already spending the money inside his head. I wondered what he would buy after he paid off his restitution?