Vapor

Chapter Nine

Hey guys! Sorry this took a bit, but I've been really questioning this series since the anon messages came through. It's a bit short.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of abduction and murder. Angst.

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I sat on the ferry and thought about what waited for me at home. I thought about my parents and Sydney. I thought about the Pogues and the Kooks. I knew that there was a lot waiting for me at home. I felt the ocean mist me as we went back to the Outer Banks. I got off the ferry and felt the light rainfall against my skin. Everything was exactly the same as before I left, however, I was much different. The children and their families were engraved in the back of my head. I wanted to make the most of my life for them, but how could I? I was so disturbed by everything that had gone on.

I went back home and my dad greeted me at the door, but he wasn't alone. Ward Cameron was on his way out as I walked up. He said hi to me as he passed and got into his car. Did he tell my dad that Sarah and I weren't friends anymore? I turned my attention back to my dad at the door and the incredibly worried expression on his face. He pulled me into a hug and told me that he would've gone with me. He told me that nothing is more important than how I was feeling. I hugged him and reassured him that I would be fine. I lied to him. I didn't want my family to know I was spiraling.

I ignored Sydney on my way up to my room and shut the door. I wanted to be alone for a little bit before I faced everything. I needed time to process everything. I sat on my bed and thought about everything that led up to where I am. I thought about becoming a Kook. I thought about the note I left JJ. I thought about the broken families in White Chapel. Everything has led me here. It's led me to laying in this bed with the constant feeling of suffocation.

I heard my mom come home and decided I should probably greet her. I forced myself up and made my way down the steps. She pulled me into her arms and told me she loved me. She told me how lucky she was to have me in her life still. I could feel her tears seeping into my shirt. I knew that I should've felt something in that moment, but I didn't. I blamed it on how emotionally exhausted I was.

My mom asked me to stay on the main level so she could check up on me while she made dinner. I knew she was worried so I didn't argue and sat on the couch. I sat there and tried to process everything that's happened in the past few days. I knew I couldn't do this on my own, but with everything JJ was going through, how could I ask him for help?

Then a knock interrupted my thoughts. My mom asked me to grab the door, so I went and opened it up. Topper stood in front of me, looking upset. He asked me if I could talk. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I should tell him about what's going on. I hated him right now, but I really needed someone. I told him that we couldn't talk inside. I walked out on the step with him and felt the rain brush against me lightly. We were slightly protected by the door, but it wasn't enough.

"Listen A," he said. "I'm sorry about the kiss and everything afterwards. I've been a huge ass to you and I don't want things to be weird between us."

I listened to his sincere apology and even though I hated him right now, I needed someone. He told me how I looked stressed in White Chapel. He told me that he told Sarah the truth. He told me that Rafe was being an ass. He was trying really hard to regain my trust.

"What were you doing in White Chapel anyways? You said it was personal?" he said. I looked at him and tried to find the best way to tell him. I didn't want to bombard him with my childhood trauma. I wanted to ease him into things.

"Did you hear that they found those missing kids?" I asked. He stared at me, nodding but not following. My voice shook as I continued to talk. "They would've been around our age now." "Adelaide, you don't need to continue if it's hard for you," he said, gently grabbing my arm. I looked at him and shook my head.

"W-when I was 8, I was taken by the man who killed those kids..." I said it, avoiding eye contact. "Lately, I've been dreaming. I've been having these dreams where I relive those moments and-"

He pulled me into his chest and hugged me. The sudden contact was just enough to trigger tears. I had done such a good job keeping them at bay, but now they flooded out of my eyes. He told me I didn't have to tell him anymore. He told me that he didn't know and that I should've told him sooner. I cried a little more before separating myself from him.

"I-I didn't know how to tell you guys about it," I said. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

He was nodding at me when I heard a voice through the rain. I turned to see JJ, drenched. He was covered in rain and he held a small bouquet in his hand. He looked hurt as he stared at me.

"You told him?" he asked me. He was staring at me like I had just betrayed him in every way possible. "You actually told him? Unbelievable."

What was I supposed to say to that? He dropped the flowers into the puddle below him and turned his back on me. For some reason, seeing him walk away made me want to chase after him. I felt anger surge through me as I tried to figure out why he was upset. I walked out into the rain and grabbed his arm. "What's your problem?" I yelled. He had no right to be mad at me right now. He did the exact same thing to me when I needed him most. He ripped his arm away from me as he turned to face me. I could see the anger in his eyes as he turned back to me. It was a look I knew all too well, but this was the first time it was directed at me.

"You told him our secret!" he yelled.

"No, JJ! I told him my secret! It's not yours or ours! You were taken, I was!" I yelled. He turned his back on me once again, walking away. I wouldn't let him go without giving him a piece of my mind though. As I walked and yelled, I felt myself hating him for the first time in two years. I listened to him yell at me over his shoulder to stop blaming him. I felt my eyes leak tears as he yelled at me. Never once had I blamed JJ for what I went through. Never once had I told him it was his fault. He always had this twisted thought that I had though and now I remembered the last words he said before we stopped being friends.

"I'm just sick of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in your life."

"I'm not going to stand here while you blame me for this! Go back to your country club life and your shitty friends and stay the hell away from me!" he yelled, turning around to look at me once more.

"Stop playing the victim here, JJ!" I yelled. "You act like I blame you for everything and that I'm the worst person you've ever met! If you're going to act that way, I don't know why you reentered my life!"

I felt his hand grab my arm and pulled me closer to him. His other hand placed itself firmly on my cheek. His lips crashed into mine and I could faintly taste the weed that lingered on his lips. My body felt alive by him. This is what I wanted my first kiss to be like, meaningful and passionate. For a moment I even forgot about our argument. I closed my eyes and our lips moved in sync, but it ended all too soon. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

"Because you were suffering," he whispered. "You were suffering and I thought I could fix it, but I was wrong..."

I felt my heart break as he moved away from me. He looked at me sadly before making his final statement. I was too shocked to move or go after him, but his words would haunt me more than the nightmares I've been having.

"Don't worry, I'll leave you good this time."