Soulmarks and Destiny

The Power Of Gay Panic

Because of the exams and tons of homework and projects that had to be done I hadn't been able to speak to Ram in weeks which depressed me greatly.
He was so interesting, so fascinating, that I couldn't help to try and get closer to him.
Whenever I saw him, even for just a second, I greeted him.
He never talked to me again after that one time but that was ok.
He wasn't disrespectful as well he would just silently greet back and that was enough for me.
The fact that he reacted and gave me some attention was all I needed to be over the moon.
He didn't even seem angry because of the nickname I gave him.
'Cool boy' really suited him.
My heart was always about to jump out of my chest so I'd probably have a heart attack if he actually talked to me with that lovely voice of his.
A beautiful man with a wonderful voice and even more blinding smile.
Yes I was whipped already but who wouldn't be?
Ram was… captivating.
Truly unique, mysterious and eye catching.
And yes, maybe Bohn was right and I sounded like a teenage girl talking about her crush, so what?
He IS my soulmate, after all.
And maybe he is my crush as well…
Anyway, because of another project I was on my way to the library when I finally got the chance to see him again.
Feeling tired, I had leaned against the book shelf and closed my eyes for a moment.
The sunlight that fell through the window warmed my face delightfully and I relaxed for a moment.
A shuffle and footsteps brought me back to reality and I opened my eyes look at who had disturbed the peaceful silence.
Surprisingly enough, it was Ram who was, as always, silently staring at me.
"Ay cool boy! Are you here because you have to do some research for a project as well?", I greeted him with a bright smile.
He frowned a bit and showed me the book he was holding.
It was a book about dogs.
"So you like dogs?"
He nodded and I sighed.
Of course he likes the one thing that scares me the most.
That explains the dog part of our soulmate mark.
Looking at him again I noticed the questioning look in his eyes.
"It's not that I don't like dogs. It's just… When I was small I was bitten by one and ever since that traumatizing experience I'm scared of dogs. They are cute to look at though", I explained and the junior nodded understanding.
Ram then looked at the book in his hand and hold it towards me.
"You want me to take it?"
A nod.
"Dont you want to read it?"
He answered by shaking his head in determination
Grabbing my hand, he shoved the book into it.
Shocked by him initiating physical contact, I took the book and stared at him in surprise.
Though slightly embarassed he seemed satisfied and gestured me to put it away.
I did was asked me to do and thanked him for it.
He shook his head and gave me a small smile.
Overwhelmed by him initiating touch and even smiling at me, all I could do was to smile back.
My poor, weak heart was about to burst.
My skin felt hot and was tingling where he had touched it.
Not knowing what to do or say I was desperatly trying to come up with a topic.
Him just staring at me with those pretty, dark eyes wasn't helpful.
Was he not feeling nervous at all?
Probably not, considering the fact that we aren't a couple, I thought.
Feeling annoyed by myself, I focused on calming down.
"So, Duen mentioned that you dogs. Huskies, if I remember correctly?"
He nodded and tilted his head in slight confusion.
"You want to know when Duen talked to me?", I guessed and he nodded.
"Ah, I gave him my phone number the other day so we chatted a bit and talked on the phone a few times"
Ram frowned at that and I wasn't sure what exactly had upset him.
Is it because he still sceptical of me because I'm Bohn's best friend?
"You don't have to worry. I'm not angry because of him being Bohn's boyfriend. I give him some advice or explain Bohn's behavior when he doesn't know what to do and stuff. We get along pretty well", I added quickly to calm him down but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
He frowned even harder, took out his phone and handed it to me.
Taking it slightly confused, I looked at him and then at the phone.
Does he perhaps want me to give him my number as well?
"You want me to give you my number?", I asked to be sure and he nodded.
Almost bursting with excitement and happiness, I tried my best to hide the fact that my hands were touching and typed it in.
After saving my number, I gave it back and the frown and obvious dissatisfaction vanished.
Relieved that he wasn't angry at me, I grinned at him.
"Now youcan always text me when you have questions or just miss your favorite P'", I teased gently and he blushed a bit and glared at me.
Laughing at his embarrassment, I took a quick picture of the cute look on his face.
Horrified, Ram immediately tried to get his hands onto my phone but I was quicker.
"Nuh uh, you're not going to delete it. It's your fault for being so cute", I said while wondering where the confidence was coming from.
He looked at me with wide eyes for a moment but then calmed down and smirked.
Grabbing my wrist, he suddenly pulled me close.
Shocked by the sudden move and him being so close, I froze.
"If that's the case then I will just take pictures of you as well. After all, you are always cute but when you are with me and blush so sweetly, you are the most adorable. So don't blame me", he whispered into my eye with a low, raspy voice.
With wide eyes, I stared at him.
My cheeks were burning and my heart was beating so fast that I would have been worried if I could focus on anything else but Ram.
My brain was stuck, trying to process whatever he had just said.
My mouth was dry and I gulped, trying to form words and failed miserably.
A soft click pulled me out of my shock and I realized that he had just taken revenge.
Trying my hardest to regain my composure, I straightened myself and closed my eyes in embarrassment.
I was so embarrassed that my body felt flaming hot and I groaned and hid my face in my hands.
How could I let down my guard like this?
How did he even think of doing that?.
Where did he take the courage for such a bold move??
My God, he's a top, isn't he?
Shit, that was hot.
Fuck, what am I supposed to do now?
Should I run away?
Running away isn't something a senior should do.
All these thoughts were running through my head and I couldn't seem to calm down.
Am I gay panicking right now?
Would have guessed that would happen to me one day.
Fuck, this shit hits differently.
Now I know what Bohn meant when he said that gay panics because of Duen sometimes.
Holy fuck.
Another click drew my attention back to Ram and I just knew that he took another picture.
"Are you done taking pictures of me?", I groaned and a soft laugh answered me and fuck.
Fuck, fuck fuck!!!
That's so cute!
That's so hot!
Taking my last bit of dignity in consideration, I gave up hiding my face and just glared at the junior instead.
I found that he never had put away his phone because he took another picture.
My glare intensified and so did his obvious glee.
You're lucky you're so hot and cute, I thought.
"You don't normally talk to me but when you tease me you do? That's not very nice, cool boy"
He laughed again and it send a shudder down my spine.
Dude, I'm so fucking whipped.
It's not even funny anymore.
"Not talking to me again, I see. Well, as much fun as I had I have a project to finish so I gotta go", I said, still trying to save my image.
Just when I had turned around to leave, he talked to me again.
"Running away from me in the middle of a conversation? That's not very nice, P'King"
This boy, I swear.
"I really don't mean to be rude but the project calls. I can't be irresponsible and give my juniors a bad impression, can I?", I answered, unwilling to turn around.
The low chuckle that followed my words resonated in my head.
"I see. Take good care of your project then. You can repay me with a meal, after all"
That got me.
Surprised, I turned around.
"You want me to treat you a meal?, I echoed dumbfounded.
Seriously, where is he taking all this confidence from??
He nodded and the smirk on his lips made my heart skip a beat.
Genuinely concerned that I'd have a heart attack when I stayed any longer, I just promised that I would treat him and hurriedly left.
How ironic that I end up running away the one time he approaches me when it was always me who chased after him.
Bohn will laugh at me for this for sure.
Duen will too but still, I have to ask what in the world happened to his stoic, always silent best friend.
After I had made sure to be far away from the library, I leaned against the wall to catch my breath.
Ram really will be the death of me one day.
What the flying fuck just happened??