Too Bad For Her Own Good

Chapter 37

He wasn't at the gate.

I look down at my ticket nervously, nervous that the sweat from my fingers is going to effect the ink on the flimsy piece of paper. Gate 37. I look up, making sure that I didn't temporarily hallucinate the past few times that I checked that gate. But no, I did not hallucinate, and yes, I was at the right gate.

And Logan was not here.

A part of me understands why he could be upset. Researching how I am going to find a way to end my marriage with him is a bit of a mood killer, I guess. But it isn't to me. I strongly, still strongly, believe that this law is awful. Maybe it is because I have seen what some of the couples have to live through -- being stuck with someone so unfortunate. Mason and Alice are just a small percentage of the good people who got stuck in bad situations. I don't know the rest of the student body personally, but based off of the dreary looks in the hallways and the bags under everyone's eyes, I doubt that happy marriages are surviving strong.

I understand that Logan and I are different then the rest of the couples. Adjacent, the program, managed to pair together two people who worked so well together, two people that managed to be a perfect fit for love. It absolutely baffles me that despite it working so well for us, such terrible couples were formed. And while divorcing Logan is not something that I want to do, I want to marry him on my own terms.

And I am not going to lie, the fact that I need to  pregnant in less then a week and a half is an extremely pressing matter. I'm assuming that most of the other couples have already begun having SE, as the mayor informed us of the serious consequences that would occur if the child quota date was not met. The state wants children, and they are scaring people into it. I myself am not even remotely ready -- mentally, emotionally or physically-- to be a mother. Bringing a child into this world with Logan and I as parents is irresponsible, its dangerous.

And while I love that Logan wanted to wait to have sex until just recently, it doesn't stop the fear that races through my heart knowing that we have a week and a half to complete something that takes some couples months, even years. Forced impregnation is not something that I want to be facing at any point in my future, let alone in a week and a half if Logan and I do not manage to pull off getting me pregnant.

Or, the other option:End the law.

Ending this law will stop all of is teenagers from having children. Not to toot my own horn, but I consider myself one of the more responsible students that attends Middletown High School. And if I, a 4.0 student who is in a stable -- well sorta stable-- relationship am not read for a child, I do not want to even imagine how the children in the other families will be raised.

So Logan can be mad at me all that he wants, but I am not having a child. I understand the consequences of refusal, and that is not an option. So instead, I will do the only other thing possible.

I have a raging headache, and a large ache in my chest where Logan should be. I do not like fighting with him the boy holds grudges and he holds onto his anger. I know that we will need to seriously talk about this, and maybe it is my fault to bring it up in the middle of lunch but there isn't really a reason to hide what I am doing from him. In fact, if he used those brains of his, he should e by my side. His insight would actually prove to be very helpful.

I look up again, and scan the rows of elderly couples and groups of women in hopes to come across a tall boy with dark hair and green eyes.

I take a seat in one of the chairs near the entrance to the gate, my eyes trailed on the never ending stream of people walking to and from gate to gate, terminal to terminal, bathroom to bathroom. I do not want to miss him, I want him to know exactly where he is supposed to be. It is not like Logan to run late, and I know has his ticket in his front left pocket because I am the one who put it there and told him to keep it safe.