The Fail Pep Assembly (Brittany 2.0)

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"Welcome, children, to McKinley High's annual fall assembly," Principal Figgins said as I walked up to my seat in the back-row of the auditorium, "Where we gather to celebrate teen pep. Before we begin, a few announcements."

"Hey," I whispered to Bella as I sat next to her, I saw that the others were all up here with us,

"First and foremost, I wish to address the rumor that I like to be milked like a cow because my breasts are filled with delicious, wholesome milk." I snorted from my spot,

"What the actual fuck," Bella said as I tried to keep my laughter in,

"That rumor is untrue. And now, without further ado, it's time for a performance of music to be enjoyed by all. It is my honor to introduce McKinley High's New Directions!" We all clapped politely as the curtain opened.

Britney: It's Britney, bitch. I see you - And I just wanna dance with you - Every time they turn the lights down - Just wanna go that extra mile for you - You got my display of affection - Feels like no one else in the room but you - We can get down like there's no one around - We keep on rocking, we keep on rocking - Oh, are you? - Cameras are flashing while we're dirty dancing - They keep watching, they keep watching - Feels like the crowd is saying - Gimme, gimme more, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more - Gimme, gimme more, gimme more-

"They're lip-syncing!" The Blonde bitch yelled as she stood up pointing at them,

"J'accuse!" yelled a stoner dude as he stood up.

I just can't - Control myself - They want more? - Well, I'll give them more.

Blaine ran and closed the curtain around the glee club and everyone, I sat, dumbfounded.

"It looks like glee club is in a fast downward spiral."

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