Everyone has a breaking point (Depressed Kyouka Jiro)

6

(just so you all know this entire chapter is a flashback)

Sirens wailed as my insane aunt, Kyoki(meaning insane) pulled up her car to a shrieking halt at the car accident. I blinked a tear already slipping past my now closed eyes. I was pulled out of the car and dragged along to the accident by the rough and dirty hands of my aunt.

" open your eyes girl. Say goodnight to your mom and dad." Kyoki ordered. Slowly I opened my eyes and immediately had a complete panic attack. Two dead and bloodied bodies with sheets over them lay in the street. I fell to my knees. My happy mom and dad lying dead in the road due to a stupid fucking car! I couldn't deal. The tears ran down my cheeks u til I knew it wasn't gonna make them cough and blink like in fairytales. At that moment I hit my rock bottom. Nothing was worse then this. I didn't scream my voice was already too hoarse. I couldn't breath my lungs had sucked all the air out without my command to breath I would die with them. A police officer put a calming gauge hand on my back. I don't look at them, not until I hear the words behind me. 

" Ms. Jiro, you're under arrest." I whipped my head around it wasn't me they were taking away but Aunt Kyoki. Suddenly it all came together. The woman who had put her hand on my shoulder wasn't there for comfort she was there to make sure I didn't run after my aunt.

" W-wait why are you taking my aunt?" I whispered to the police officer.

" drug abuse and she went wild at a bar a couple weeks ago. She showed up here with you. But I have another question. Do you have another adult taking care of you?" She asked as if we weren't kneeling before my dead parents. I  nodded. Lying that I had an older sister and not three younger ones.

A week after the death.

I never told my sisters what happened to mother and father. They wouldn't understand. I planned to tell them that they never even existed. Maybe announce to them what happened when they are older. They are young enough to be able to forget people like mother and father. I took down all the photos involving them. Made sure that the it room looked like a plain old guest room. Bought tons of recipe books. Learned how to cook the same dishes mother and father would make. It hurt so bad to have them not know but two out of three were already forgetting about them and going straight to me when they needed something. I felt so broken and alone. There was one day when I was alone for at least ten or so minutes  and I was scratching at a bug bite. When I accidentally drew blood. Something in me told me that the sight of blood was something both to fear and love. I dig deeper with my nails and some more blood cane oozing out of my arm. Weirdly, I smiled. I kept Ed at the bug bite until drops of blood hit my bed sheets. It was then when I had been pulled back to my ugly senses. But the sensation of the blood and the pain had brought me to a place in my mind that I would later name, NANIKA meaning something in Japanese. It was a weird name for the state of mind but I visited it more often. NANIKA turned into cutting.