In The Arms Of The Beasts

Helpless

The day before we were supposed to be released

Today was the day that they were letting non-catfolk people visit. I wasn't expecting anyone, they had no reason to be here. My supervisor was giving me more reasons to believe he would say 'no' when I asked that final question. The amount of art sessions had increased drastically even though my health had changed just as much.

It had been so long since I'd eaten a decent meal, and the streets had gotten rougher so I had to defend myself at night resulting in a few scattered bruises making me look all the more dead. Honestly, I hoped someone would just put me out of my misery so I wouldn't have to struggle so much anymore.

"I'm here to visit the commander, an anonymous friend of hers wanted me to check in on her" I raised my head off the floor at the sound of a familiar voice, that traveller from my camp! He came back? Wait! How'd he even know where to find me? I crawled out from under the boxes to see my supervisor trying to turn him away.

"I'm sorry but she's not available right no-""she's very available for an old friend like you" the traveller caught me as I started to fall due to the lack of physical strength "commander, you're not we-""don't touch her!" My hand immediately gripped the supervisors wrist off the traveller, I didn't even mean to do that.

The fatigue, the constant fear, the uncontrollable actions. They were all signs of something far worse - it was clear that I was finally turning feral like the wild animal I was. When our bodies lack the basic needs, they go into a 'survival' mode and we black out, or so we think. Reality is that we become no different than a mindless husk attacking on sight with no trace of humanity left.

"I-I'm so sorry, I never meant to do that! Please don't hurt me!" The supervisor gently pulled my hand off him with an innocent smile before walking off. I pulled myself together and sat back down with the traveller by the cardboard boxes scribbling out a note to back home. I didn't even know what I was writing but the boys needed some kind of closure to this:

Listen, I know I sort of left you hanging and I'm so so sorry. But I was running low on paper, I've used up all the paper from the barbarian islands and started stealing from the mail-cat. He carries spare envelopes so I just unfold them but that's not the point, tomorrow everyone is supposed to leave but something tells me I won't be leaving with them. It it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you two come and get me so we can all leave together? I love both of you! And I want to show whoever's stopping me leaving that he doesn't get to control me anymore. You're allowed to say 'no' and leave me here, I'll be alright, I promise. It won't be long before I turn feral and lose myself, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promises to you both - Arisu

"Did they really ask you to check on me?" It wasn't really a question I cared about, but it did give me more time to write down what I needed to, as I did...I realised I loved them both equally. I always had and always will.

"I need you to deliver just one more message to the barbarian islands and fast" I handed the letter to him weakly with desperate eyes "yes. Of course! Until then, rest commander. This town clearly hasn't been kind to you" he pushed me into a resting position which I immediately lost curling up into a ball to conserve energy.

I watched him sprint towards the exit like no tomorrow, I think he knew my sanity depended on it. That night, I knew I wasn't the only one struggling. All the blankets and covers were collected in and taken away leaving all of us in the harsh cold. It wasn't that the council didn't care, it's that they couldn't afford to lose the younger generations as they were 'more valuable' than their parents or 'outcasts' such as myself.

It was democracy built upon insecurity and a crumbling kingdom...