Someone Else

Chapter 20

I remember nothing from the long, drudging flight. Except of course for the screaming baby sat in the seats behind me, and the sweaty mouth breather I shared a row with. I'd manage to occupy myself on the long 9 hour flight with two in-flight movies and shitty nap and some reading.

I feel exhausted and queasy. The time difference mixed with the tiring events of today have made my head foggy. I feel gross and not just because I need a shower. I called a cab from the airport straight to the hospital, not even bothering to stop by my apartment first to drop my luggage off. It's late here in New York, almost midnight.

When I get to the hospital, Mandy is waiting for me as soon as I walk inside. She immediately scurries over to me and pulls me into a hug. I take a moment, breathing deeply before I wrap my arms around her frail body and hug her back.

"How was your flight?" She asks as she pulls away. Her hands remain on my shoulders, holding me at arms length as she gives me a look over. I'm sure I look like something that just crawled out from under a bridge, like the grisly trolls that ask you riddles before you're allowed to cross.

"Long." I force a small smile, "How is he?"

"Still the same. Doctors say he'll be okay, it's just going to be a long recovery." She fills me in as we climb into an elevator. I watch as she pushes the third floor button and then my eyes move to her, noticing her own appearance now.

Her hair is a dark black but most of her roots are a shiny gray now. There's wrinkles on the outer corners of her eyes and she looks tired, as if she hasn't had a sufficient amount of sleep.
Me too, Mandy.

We reach the third floor and I follow her down the long hallway, passing by a few doctors or nurses moving to their next required destination.

"He's sleeping." She says softly as she motions to the door in front of us. I glance at her before looking at the door before me, chewing on my lip and nodding. I quietly open the door and take a step inside. Mandy remains outside to give me some alone time with him.

My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of my poor dad. He's got a tube in his nose to help him breath, an IV hooked through his arm and several monitors attaching him to machines that monitor her heartbeat. Despite all of the tubes and such connected to him, he looks peaceful while he sleeps. I feel my eyes swelling with tears and I force myself to take a step toward his bed.

"Oh, dad." I say softly, not wanting to wake him. I carefully scoot one of the chairs in the room closer to his bed and take a seat, lightly placing my hand over his as I do. My thumb is tracing gentle circles across his freckled, calloused skin. There's a pang of guilt rush through me as I watch my dad silently. The only sound is the beeping from the heart monitor and light commotion coming from the hallway outside the door. I should've been here. I know he's had high blood sugar over the past few years but he's been to the doctor about it. He has medication to help it.

All the times we've grabbed a bite to eat at McDonald's and eaten those insanely salty fries makes my stomach twist. Or when I've gone to dinner at his house and his fridge is mostly stocked with Dr. Pepper.

He works an office job with a trucking company, sitting at a desk practically eight hours a day. Maybe he wasn't getting enough exercise.

So many possible reasons flood my mind and I can't help but think I could've helped him. I wipe a fallen tear with the back of my hand, sniffing away any others threatening to spill over. There's a light knock at the door and I stand up quickly to greet whoever it is. The door opens slowly and Mandy's head pops inside.

"Maddy, I'm sorry honey. The nurses just said there cant be any visitors until tomorrow." She tells me sadly. I can't say I blame them, it is really late after all. I nod and walk back out into the hallway with her.