Staying In South Park (Sequel to L.I.S.P.)

21

In school on Monday morning, there was a new girl with blonde hair and plain looks. "Seriously, why is everyone moving here? God..." I sighed. "You moved here." Kyle pointed out as we walked through the halls. "Yeah, but I came a year before everyone else who's moving here. I don't count." I said. "She's got a point, dude." Stan said.

"Dude, just cos she's your 'little sister' doesn't mean anything." Kyle huffed. "Dude! By a year and two days exactly!" I huffed back. "And how were you put in this year again?" Cartman said smugly. "Skipped kindergarten and was held back a year." I snapped.

"Wait, two days?" Stan asked. "Yeah. I'm the seventeenth, you're the nineteenth." I reminded him. "Oh. Oh yeah!" He grinned. "How do you view us, Sarah?" Kenny suddenly asked.

"Well, you're mine, obviously. Stan's an older brother, Kyle's my best friend, and Cartman is the asshole that'll help me hide bodies and take over Russia." I said.

"Love ya." Stan nodded at me. "You're my best friend, too." Kyle said. "We're taking over RUSSIA?!" Cartman said excitedly. "Love you too, yay, and of course we're taking over Russia. Russia's a cool place. HA! PUN!" I said proudly.

"Any other best friends?" Kyle then asked. "Well, there's Craig... But he doesn't watch BBC with me." I smirked at Kyle.

We got into class and of course the new blonde girl was there. "Introduce yourself." Mr. Garrison told her. "Hi, I'm Ashley. Uh... I don't know what else to say." She said softly. "What do you like to do?" Mr. Garrison asked her.

"Uh.... Not much, really. I like JROTC, and that's about it." She shrugged. "Ah, do you want to go into the army someday?" He asked and she nodded. "I'd like to get in the Marines." She said and he nodded and let her take her seat.

Class went on and at lunch, Ashley was sitting alone at our table. We sat around her and Craig came up with people in our class and hugged me from behind while I was about to sit down. "Did you take care of McKenna?" He asked and turned me around.

"Of course I took care of McKenna." I scoffed. "Took care of her parents too." Cartman said proudly while nodding at me. "Great. Thanks again, Sarah." Clyde said and I smiled. "You're welcome. All of you." I said. Craig kissed my cheek and we shared a smile before he took Tweek's hand as they all walked away.

We sat around her, Ashley in between Stan and Cartman since Kenny and Kyle were on other sides of me. "Sorry, do I have to move?" She asked, suddenly noticing us.

"Nah. You're fine where you are." I waved it off and ate a fry. "Oh, thanks. I really didn't want to be next to those girls. They seem really two-dimensional." She whispered. "It's cool. I didn't want to either, but they can be useful at times." I said.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to see Jonathan. "Yes, hello, can I help you?" I asked. "Did you take care of McKenna?" He asked. "Her and the family." I said. "Great. Here's forty and a bottle of Jack Daniels." He said and I smirked and took the two twenties and slipped the Jack Daniels bottle inside my jacket. "Thank you. Love you." He just nodded and walked away.

I then handed a twenty to Kenny and a twenty to Cartman. "Was that your boyfriend?" Ashley asked. "No, he's a good friend. Kenny here is my fiancé." I said and patted his shoulder. "Oh, sorry. Congrats though." "Thanks."

"Why do people keep asking you if you 'took care of McKenna'?" She asked. The boys and I exchanged looks before Stan nodded at me. "McKenna was a girl that moved here and she was a total stuck up bitch and tried to steal Kenny, and everyone was getting sick of her, so me, Cartman, Kenny, and Wendy killed her and her family." I quickly explained.

"Wow." "Well, we were just there to make sure she wouldn't get caught or anything. Sarah did all the work." Cartman shrugged while stuffing his fat gullet with cheeseburgers and fries and cheesy poofs. "Shut up. I'm modest." I glared at him.

"You won't rat her out, will you?" Stan asked. "No! Of course not. If some bitch came along and tried to steal my fiancé, I'd probably kill her and her family too." She said and I smiled. "I like you, Ashley."

She smiled at me. "That's good. I like murder and shit. We'll get along nicely."