The Bad Girl's Secret (slowgoing)

"Now what are three things you see?"

Lexi's POV

You shouldn't be so mad about this. 

You stupid bitch why did blow up like that? 

Because what he said brought back old scars that I thought were healed be now. 

As I stood in the girls bathroom( I took my tank of because it was getting hot) my hands were dying to punch something. Without thinking about wrapping my hands again I start punching the hard concrete of the wall. I keep punching and punching like it heal all my past scars and pain. I've tried to do that before and only caused my wrist to break and knuckles to bleed to no end. But I keep punching and I don't stop even when I hear the wall cracking. Even when I feel my skin breaking. I don't stop and just keep punching. 

Why

punch

Must 

punch

I 

punch

Feel?

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH 

All I feel is rage. All I see is red.  I start to image a head instead of the wall. The face that will forever be in my brain... a face that I trusted.... the face that made me like this. Just one big batch of pint up anger and messed up past.  

Why

punch 

Did 

punch

He

punch

Do

punch

This 

punch 

To. Me

I scream as I start punching to no end. I don't stop until I'm being pulled from the wall by strong soft hands. I didn't even know I was crying until now. I don't look up to see who grabbed me. I just sit on the persons lap(where they placed me) and cry until all the stress and anger is gone. The only sound heard is my sobs. I try and focus on my breathing but nothing helps until I hear a familiar voice speak to me 

"What are three things that you hear?" 

I hear... the muffled sounds of a fight outside the door.... my staggered breathing...... and ....the familiar voice. 

"Now what are three things you feel?" Another familiar voice.

Um... I feel the hands holding my waist..... a strong pain in my wrist. And I feel two more sets of hands begin to draw circles on shoulders. And I know who is here with me and I wouldn't want anyone else. I turn my head to see Conner, Grant and Luke all with a look of concern on their face. I'm sitting in Grant's lap. He smiles as he says

"Now what are three things you see?" 

"My three amazing brothers." I curse at myself when here my voice.  Shaky and soft. Vulnerable. Nothing that I've trained to be. Nothing that I want to be anymore. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We were coming to see you, Mya and the boys as a surprise." Connor spoke up. 

"Grant called Jerry and he said you were in a fight tonight," Luke stepped in. 

"We came straight to the warehouse. We heard the scream and raced in here. Thats when we found you. You wanna talk about it?" 

"Come on you know me better then that." I smile at him.  

"I keep telling you Lex you gotta talk sometime. It's not good." 

"And I keep telling you that you don't have to worry."  

"What we just saw causes worry Lexi. Look at your hands." I did as Connor said and looked down. My knuckle were bloody and raw. My left wrist is swollen and hurting. Possibly sprained. They're right. I do need help with my past. I still have nightmares and terrors sometimes. But...... I can't.  "You can't keep doing this." 

"Yes I can and I'm going to. It's bad enough mom knows. I'm not gonna have you three look at me like that too." Ever since my mother prayed the truth from Kim she has never looked at me with pure love. Its always mixed with a little disgust and pity. Kim told sh would never tell anyone why I was taken from my last foster home. I trusted her to keep her word. I guess my mother has a way with words(or her bank account). Because it wasn't five minutes of her on the phone bidding and bargaining until she got what she called for.  

I cleane my face off then the four of us left the bathroom to find Derrick and see if he has worked anything out for my fight.

"Derrick should be around here." I told my very confused brothers. Soon enough we found him standing by my quote "opponent".

"Uh Lexi?" I turned to look at Grant. "Who is that?" Nodding his head toward the teenage guy standing next to Derrick. I turned to look at him. Was he eye fucking me again?   

"Hey!" I yelled to get his attention. His eyes shot up to mine.  His brown eye boring into mine. I almost lost myself in them. Almost. If he wasn't just eye fucking me it would be very different. "Loose the eye fucking. Or I might release my brothers one you. And if you think I can fight just wait till you see what they can do." That stopped the eyes for now. " So Derrick what is the plan?"