Crickets and Clovers // Multifandom

Chapter 10

I was afraid for my next show. I mean, my next show wasn't happening anytime soon, but still. Seeing people as Bustin Jieber terrified me now. What if they knew my actual name? Or if they harrass me about me fainting?

My mom said she'd try her best to help me explain what happened after I told her the real reason why I passed out. She ended up calling paparazzi, claiming she was a fan of Bustin, and that she saw him by a comic book store.

While she gave the paparazzi the address, I had put on my wig and my tattoo sleeves, then headed my way to said address once she hung up the phone.

I believe I arrived earlier than the paparazzi did, so I managed to buy two comic books, Batman ones. 

When I took my first step out of the store, though, I was bombarded with paparazzi. I didn't think there would be so many people, but I forget that Bustin Jieber is practically every teens ideal man.

"Bustin, can you explain what happened that night of your concert?"

"Bustin, is it true you suffer from anxiety, and that's why you fainted?"

"Fans are claiming you had stage fright that night, can you confirm that theory?"

Oh boy, people really start to assume the worse. Why can't it just be I got tired and passed out?

"Didn't know you liked comics, what did you just buy?" My ears perked up at that question. 

"I got Batman comics." I exclaimed. "I like the Joker, he's my favourite bad guy. I heard this one has the Riddler in it too."

Give that lady who asked me that a raise, she's great. She even seemed interested in what I said.

"Can you talk about your last show?" Another person with a microphone said.

"I was just really exhausted, you know?" I said, then turned and pointed at the camera. "Don't forget to stay hydrated and take deep breaths when things seem to be a lot for you."

The paparazzi seemed satisfied with that answer, and after a few minutes of them asking about my personal life, they left me alone.

My anxiety was horrible during that, and I developed the habit of picking at my arm then. That wasn't the best habit to pick up though, since my tattooed arm was fake. I hope no one noticed my tattoos changing positions. 

When I made it back home, my mom gave me a welcoming smile and hugged me. I hugged her, and I could feel myself shaking against her. I was super nervous during that interview.

"Everything went well?" She asked, concern in her voice. I nodded, looking up at her. "That's good, everything will be ok." She reassured.

For the rest of the day, I spent my time reading my comics. People are actually interested in what I read? If I go to school with these comics, then maybe people who watched the paparazzi video will notice and talk to me about it. I assumed so due to my fans seeming to want to pick up the same interests as me.

But then I don't want fake fans of these comics talking to me, I actually want someone who knows what they're talking to. They may even leave me when they realize how much I'm into them. 

I just want friends, is that so hard to ask for? It seems I don't really fit into any of the school cliques, so I just stay by myself. That's why Bustin was created, I wanted to be wanted. I wanted someone to care about me. I started with my first song being an emo song, totally popular in 2005. However, when I created a love song, that one got the most attention, so I stayed doing pop. I would love to go back into the style of what my first song was, but I've grown, and I don't think my fans would like my sudden genre change. 

Even though it's what I started off doing.

I have fans who listen to my old music too, though. I also have fans who listened to me when I was first starting off, then they left when I moved on to pop. I fear that would happen again if I change my genre back, so I just stick to making love songs about a made up woman. Well, I use she/her in my songs, but it could be written to anyone honestly. I think my fans are homophobic, though. 

I don't know who or what I like, so I just stick to being the average guy.

Hopefully I can get comfortable enough to be myself though, as Bustin and as Oli.