Crickets and Clovers // Multifandom

Chapter 15

School has been less scary for me. I say that because less people have been talking about Bustin Jieber passing out, and more on what comic books he reads. Now everyone walked around with comics in their hands. Even that blonde kid with the hella nice jawline had comics in his hand. I knew he read comics before the little interview came out, but now he's gotten the confidence to have them visible due to that. 

I really wanted to be his friend.

Anyways, that was like a week ago or something. A few days ago? Who's keeping track of the time anymore?

I just wanted friends. That sounded depressing, but it's the truth. I'm a very reserved person. I guess getting bullied in middle school has really shaped me.

There's a show tonight. Not a big one, it's a show were I perform my older songs. Not the pop music I make now, but the music I started off making. I don't think a lot of people will go, especially because I won't be playing the stuff that got me popular.

I wasn't anxious about the show, though, I felt good about it actually. I'm doing what makes me happy, and hopefully other people will like it to, whether they already do or are new to it. I'm finally getting back some confidence. 

Time seemed to go by so slowly, but once tonight had hit, and I was in the venue, I was filled with joy. I haven't performed these songs in front of anyone in so long.

The stage was smaller than they usually were for my shows. I wanted this to be a chill show, where it was just me and the audience. 

I was standing on the side of the stage, guitar strap around my shoulder, and was barely able to hold in my excitement. My mom was by my side, congratulating me on doing this. She was proud that I was able to make the choice of performing what I wanted to whenever I wanted to. She also claimed that she would noticed how stressed out I'd get when writing songs and setlists.

The time had finally come, people of different ages were filling up the venue. The show didn't sell out like the last one, and there wasn't a whole bunch of people there, but there was a few hundred who were willing to listen to my words.

My manager came up from behind me and told me it was time, and my excitement turned into a bit of nervousness. I hope the people who were willing to pay for this show won't be too disappointed. 

I mean, I made it clear when promoting that I'll be only playing my old stuff.

I slowly stepped onto the stage, the cheering crowd being the only think keeping me from walking off. I sat on the stool that was positioned in the middle of the stage, smiling and waving down at the audience.

"Hello." I spoke after adjusting the microphone in front of me. "How's everyone?" 

I received a bunch of ok's and good's, and I was hoping this show would make their night even better.

"So, as you guys already know, during this show I'll be performing acoustics of older songs I've written. All before I got popular. Some of you guys know these songs already while others don't, but I hope we can all come together and enjoy the show."

The crowd cheered and clapped before I started off playing my first song of the night.

This show was different. I felt more like myself. Like, I knew who I was, but I've never felt more certain in who I was than at this moment. The words that came out of my mouth were about me, by me, and for me and anyone else who needed to hear them. 

Back then when I wrote these songs, I was doing this as a coping mechanism, just writing how I felt. Looking up to all these artist and hearing their words made me confident that I could have the same impact on people if I did the same thing, and now I'm being proven correct. 

As I sing my song, I see others either sing along or nod their heads to the song, and it reminds me that there are people I'm able to connect with. I've been trying to search for people to just understand me, to understand Oli. But these words are Oli's, not Bustin's. 

I've found the people I've been searching for. They've been in front of me this whole time.

These people are my friends.