still human to me [osamu dazai x reader]

Tragedy| 6

The day was January 10th.

You knew the day Dazai wasn't slacking and goofing off was a day you should be very worried.

And you were.

You couldn't focus on the papers that were set in front of you. Your gaze was fixated on Dazai who didn't say a word walking into the agency office. He was quiet, keeping to himself while silently focusing on his work. You could tell Kunikida and Atsushi were worried, but they were just glad that they weren't being bothered.

Though the young man was silent, you could tell the thoughts in his mind were only getting louder and louder by the second.

Deciding you wanted answers, you slipped out a scrap piece of paper and simply wrote:

Do you think Dazai is okay?

Making sure no one was looking, you slipped the note to your partner Atsushi, you quickly notice and wrote back to you.

No, sorry. He seems off today. Maybe you should ask him, you are in love with him, right?

Upon reading the note, your face turned multiple shades of red.  You picked up your pen and scribbled down an answer.

What makes you think that?!

It didn't take long before your partner wrote back:

Yosano-chan let it slip earlier today.

You sighed in embarrassment as Atsushi quickly wrote something again.

It's okay [Y/N], I won't tell anyone.

"Excuse me you two?" You and Atsushi heard a broad voice call out, causing you to jump. Turns out Kunikida had noticed your conversation and had an annoyed expression plastered on his face.

"Sorry.." The both of you muttered out in embarrassment as you crumpled up the paper and tossed it in your bag. Just as you were about to start your paperwork, you looked over at Dazai who let out a soft giggle at you. You blushed and smiled back, hoping he was feeling a bit better.

Everyone in the agency could agree that it was a quiet day without Dazai lighting up the office with his teasing and his slacking. You would never admit it, but seeing Dazai goof off was what made working at the Agency more bearable, even if Kunikida and the others would agree that Dazai sometimes made them feel the opposite.

The day, though uncomfortable for you, went by like any other. After it ended and you walked out after saying goodbye, you decided that you wanted to smoke. You groaned, knowing it was a a bad habit, but you just couldn't help it. You mentally thanked Shizuo for letting you try it out in the first place, and wondered if you would ever see him again to quote on quote 'thank'.

You walked out and found yourself on a huge bridge. While breathing out a puff of smoke, your gaze was fixated on the various dark blue hues that made up the gorgeous night sky.  Milky white stars filled up the sky, while the gorgeous moon looked back down at you. No clouds, no interruptions, just a peaceful and quiet night surrounded you as you continued to smoke.

"[Y/N]?" You heard a voice call out to you. You turned and slightly blushed to see Dazai walking towards you, a soft smile painted on his face. Now standing beside you, Dazai admired the beautiful view for himself.

"Is everything alright, Dazai?" You hesitantly asked. You watched as he looked down for a moment before speaking again.

"Today was the day I lost someone important to me. A friend.  A close one." Dazai explained. He wasn't facing you, just the night sky.

"Dazai, I am so sorry." You tried to console him, placing a hand on his back. "Tell me about him."

"He was, a good man. Someone I want to be like one day. He had magenta hair and the bluest eyes, he was apart of the mafia but he barely killed anyone. He took care of orphans and treated them like his own. No evil, no abuse, just with kindness." Dazai chocked on his words.

Your eyes widened. You dropped the fight out of your hand. "There is no fucking way."  You told yourself as you tried to think of another explanation. "Did Dazai really know Odasaku?"

"[Y/N]? Is everything alright?" Dazai asked. "If theres anything you want to talk about-"

"You know Odasaku?" You cut Dazai off. At this point, you saw Dazai slightly gasp at the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes.

"Y-yes, I do."

"And he's dead?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

You were silent for a moment, trying to recollect yourself. "It's now or never."  You thought.  You couldn't keep hidjng who you truly were any longer. Not after this.

"I need to tell you something, but you have to swear you won't tell a single soul, alright Osamu?"

Sorry this took so long to get out, and thank you to the two people who made me feel better when I published my last authors note. You guys know who you are, and I hope you know I appreciate your kind words

I love you guys to pluto and back ❤️