still human to me [osamu dazai x reader]

Secret| 7

sorry this took forever :p

Dazai stared at you, concerned at your stern and sudden use of his first name. He knew this wasn't a time to goof off. Dazai took a deep breath, bracing himself for what was next, despite the fact he didn't exactly know what was next.

"I'll take it to my grave."

Dazai watched you press your cigarette against the cold steal handle bar of the bridge, putting it out completely. You stayed silent for a bit, worrying Dazai even more.

"Well, I'm not from Ikebukuro. I've lived in Yokohama my whole life. And I-I don't really have family anymore..." [Y/N] started, nervously rubbing their shoulder.

"Anymore?" Dazai questioned.

"I had one. One that I lost. There was a man who showed nothing but kindness to me, he treated me like his own and I could never be more t-thankful for that." [Y/N] paused again.

Dazai's head began clouding with thoughts, dying to hear the rest of your story. He bit his lip, trying to anticipate what was next. He felt his heartbeat begin to race as he continued to think.

Were you really the one he was searching for?

"His name was Oda Sakunosuke."

Dazai felt the metallic taste of his blood from his lip as a result of biting down too hard. He stayed silent, trying to process his current situation.

"I remember, this man broke in to where we lived, I don't know who it was, but he killed the orphans. All of them but me. And f-fuck, I can't help but think that I could've protected them!" You cried out, bursting into tears. Your entire past came flooding back like the flip of a switch. You thought back to all those beyond painful moments, running away and blaming yourself for the death of the orphans who were family to you.  Those memories haunted you as your mind continued to swirl with thoughts, more warm, salty tears pouring from your eyes.

For a moment, you convinced yourself you felt Odasaku's arms wrap around you, only to realize It was Dazai. He pulled you close to his chest while resting his chin on your head.  You blushed, feeling his warmth radiating from his body.  Dazai was silent, looking up at the black tranquil sky married to a poem of stars.

He always believed that his friend was beyond those stars, somewhere, watching over him.

Dazai shut his eyes, thinking of what he would say next. Finally, he had found you.  The one he was searching for was practically in front of him this whole time- but what would he do know.

It's not like he would admit his feelings for you yet... it's just not the right time, he always told himself.

"I guess it's time for me to confess now, huh..." Dazai mumbled. He felt his cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you nodded against his chest. The young man sighed, thinking of what to say.

"Me and Oda used to be friends. He meant a lot to me... He was so, so wise beyond his years, he was caring, he was smart, but most of all, he was truly a good man... greater then I could ever hope to be." Dazai began, still holding you close to him as if you would be taken away if he let go for even a second. "He was s-shot, I was there, but I was too late. His last words to me changed my life."

"Be on the side that saves people. If both sides see the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans, Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... But that'd make you at least a little bit better. Of course I know. I know better then anyone. Because I am your friend."

"Thats why you joined the agency?" You asked, your coice husky and low from all the crying. You felt him nod.

"I'm not done. He also told me to find [Y/N]."

You pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. Your hands rested on his chest while his were around your waist.

"Well, here I am."

I'm sorry this took so long to get out, I love you guys to pluto and back ❤️