Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

 

Her lips move against his, her eyebrows raised in slight surprise, her eyelids shut close. Expecting maybe an unpleasant taste or smell was natural given the conditions and the last time Newt brushed his teeth. But there is nothing not to like about the kiss, much to her pleasure.

It lasted only a few sweet seconds, but the two part away, staring at each other in amazement. They aren’t sure exactly how they feel, but Eliza has an itch at the back of her mind saying that she can’t let this be the last and only time Newt would bring his lips this close to hers.

“I–” she begins to say, but suddenly stops when he cuts her off.

“Don’t say anything, Liz. I’m sorry.”

That isn’t what she is prepared to hear. The tingling feeling in her chest becomes a flat, dull, weight. But Newt isn’t done.

“You’re my best friend, right? But shuck it, lately I've been wanting more than that. Bloody hell, if I had the choice, I’d spend all my time just holding you. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We can’t do this right now, not when things are getting even worse, for me and for you. I’m not sure what’s happening or if we’ll ever really even get to this ‘Paradise’ klunk,” he avoids eye contact with her until then. She remains silent as he stares at her, breathing heavily. “Just wait on me,” he says softly. “Wait ‘till the time is right, and I promise you things can –will– work out. I'm sorry.”

He says it again and again until tears are streaming down his face. Eliza holds him, still not speaking. She’s just thinking, thinking how to deal with this, trying to understand what Newt is going through. It doesn’t matter that they have to put a hold on their feelings because whatever they go through together, she will always support him. It strikes her how lately Newt has been feeling very emotional and affectionate, something very unlike him. Was this part of the... the... Eliza mentally shakes her head. She can’t even bring herself to think of it.

Amidst all these thoughts and feelings driving the two insane (no pun intended), she gasps, horrified. Pushing Newt away from her grip on him, she rushes through her words.

“We have to go! It’s been at least fifteen minutes, c’mon Newt!”

“Wait!”

“What?” she stops dragging him up to the couple of steps mounted to the creaky door.

And he manages to shock her once more as he meets her lips again. This time, Eliza worries if it’s her breath that’s the problem. Hopefully not. This time, the kiss is passionate and desperate, and she never wants to let go.

But reality causes Newt to pull away. It’s so odd of him, but times have changed. She barely manages to catch what he says as they speed away from the storage shed.

“I just had to do that one more time. I have to hold on to that memory.”

.

They made it back to the Berg with only a few scratches, much to Ava and Jeff’s relief.

“They were after me. I didn’t want to lead the Cranks to your little hiding place,” Jeff had said.

Soon enough, the party was in the air once again, and the pair alone is once again in the living room area.

They’re seated across from each other, in the presence of awkward silence and tension so thick, Eliza is sure she could cut through it with the small knife hidden in her boot.

Of all the things she’s had to worry about in the past years, Eliza never imagined something like this could come along the way. Although she admits it to herself – she’d much rather prefer physical conflicts than mental conflicts, especially if the person, or rather feeling, she’s fighting is her own.

“Newt?”

“Mmm?”

“How could you just keep on waitin... with all that’s happened? How could you keep me waiting just to sort your feelings out? That’s not fair. You shouldn’t even have kissed me that second time. Don’t you think we need each other more than ever now?” She’s suddenly angry, frustrated and sick that she has to hide away her feelings from him. It’s only been a few hours and it’s already one of the hardest things she’s done, and is doing.

“Liz, lets not be slintheads. We have a lot more priorities ahead of us than making love or kissing like silly teenagers.”

She stands up, infuriated by his words. “Excuse me? Newt, are you listening to yourself? We are teenagers!”

He frowns. “Yeah, sure we are, but we’re not shucking regular teenagers! Eliza, half the stuff we have gone through is not even close to what anyone else has experienced. My whole life was wasted being tested on some virus that doesn’t have a cure. I spent weeks feeling myself go shucking insane. I wanted to kill my best friends! I can’t stand being promised once more that everything will be fine, that I can see the people I love, when in fact, someone will take that away again. I won’t be able to do it. Everything’s just so jacked up.”

A normal person would have been an emotional wreck, having such a rant like this. But Newt had already let out enough this week, more than he’d given up in the past few months probably.

What scares her the most is the calm, but utterly broken look on his face. And she knew it even then.

No matter what would happen, Newt couldn’t be fixed. He never was the ‘glue’. It hits her then. His heart had been shattered into a million pieces that were blown away. After what seemed like an eternity, most of those pieces had been found, weakly put back together. And the chunk that was missing, those lost pieces, left a huge gap in his heart. Newt isn’t the glue. Newt needs the glue. He needs to be put back together.

But the one thing is... Eliza isn’t sure if that’s possible.

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Gif of Eliza above (>^.^)>

Sad chapter for a sad 2 weeks of waiting. I'm sorry; I've been soo busy! I was meant to update this before school even started but I got caught up in a lot of things again. Anyway, I'm still really sorry. I won’t make y’all wait this long again. Okay, well either enjoy this update or cry about it.

(Has not been edited. Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes.)

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 07, 2015 ⏰

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