Alexandra Verlino

Ep 20: Concert practise

I am surprised by his sudden question. My face automatically turns to him, only to see how serious the intensity of his stares at me at the moment. I am a little afraid. He looks mad at me or something. But for what? For still mourning over my dad? That does not make sense. I release a sigh before I answer him, almost unconfidently.

"I don't know. You got your concert tomorrow. So maybe...just drive me home? That way we can both get a rest and not be tired for tomorrow. Plus I think we both could use some alone time," I try to not make him see what I feel. To be completely honest, I don't even know how or what I feel right now. The only thing I could think of...is bed and sleep. Yeah, I am tired. Effects of staying up are now cheerfully kicking on me.

He still has his intense glare. His hands folded up together on his chest. As if he's trying to read my mind. I swear even if he wanted to, I can't go with him today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after. Or the next, next few days. He has his schedules full. To even be able to run and come here this morning is already a blessing. I don't want to steal and keep him with me any longer. It really makes me start to think about our future. Are we even...possible? There is no probability about the future. All the doors in the future that I have to choose, they only make me stray further from him, with each step. The road is clear as crystal. I need to let him go on his own way.

"Hey, I'm talking to you? Are you listening?" The increasing tones in his voice snap me to reality.

"Sorry, you were saying?"

He sighs. Obviously disappointed with me being unable to concentrate.

"I said let's go have some lunch. I noticed you haven't got food in your system yet today," he says softly.

I shook my head. I don't think food is as important as my sleep. I need sleep first.

"I'm not hungry," I tell him.

"Still..." he pauses. This time he re-adjusts his position and turns his whole body towards my position. His hands now safely land on my shoulders.

"You need some strength and nutrition so your body will be able to function properly. I know you have the greatest organs ever, but even those organs will need nutrients to work efficiently, aren't they?"

That sounds half sarcasm to me. If he's trying to make me laugh, this is so not working.

"I am fine. Truly. Plus, Leeteuk has some food in his house. I can grab them when I'm hungry. You need to go. They must be looking for you now," I reassure him.

"They all know BIGBANG and Super Junior is here. Only the media and fans aren't aware of this," he tells me directly.

"Doesn't mean you don't have to return as soon as possible. Also, I still have no idea what my work position is with either YG or SM. I will need to go to the companies soon to figure that out," I tell him.

He starts to crease a line on his eyebrows. Letting go of my shoulders.

"One of those companies just killed your father, and you are still worrying about your contract? All I know is all of them should have let you go. You suffer so much. What more can they take from you?" he almost outburst in rage. He leans forward the steering wheel, squeezing it tight.

I know I need to calm him down. Or else he might just start doing something crazy again. I have failed and disappointed him way too many times, I couldn't bear to see him wretched because me again. The ones that he hates the most would probably be my decision to come back to South Korea just to figure out my real identity. He was so angry at the idea because it would mean his effort to get me away from that company goes into drain. Took me a few days to convince him his effort really wasn't misspend. For me, he saved more than one life. All members of Wonder Girls are now free, and they are able to start anew in the States. Compared to my one life, he actually saved 6 of them! Their families were also already being under protection as immigrants in the United States, thanks to Shank who talks to the US homeland security officers, so no one is allowed to hunt or hurt any of them. Within a few years they all can apply for permanent residency and finally be able to leave this nightmare. For me he did enough. More than enough to save those families.