How Amazing // Shouta Aizawa x Fem!Reader x Hizashi Yamada (SOULMATE AU)

Chapter 18

"You're... you're what?"

You averted your eyes and played with the hem of your shirt.

"I'm moving in with Hizashi..."

Shouta looked heartbroken. He knew you and Hizashi spent time together- a whole fuckton more than you did with him- but this? He didn't know how to cope with it. With you opting to spend more time with him.

The air was thick with tension and unsaid words from both parties. Shouta just wanted you to play it off like some joke, or reassure him that you weren't leaving him, or something... but the way your lips were pursed made him think that you wouldn't say anything more until he did.

Not to mention how you felt... you know Shouta would take it hard, as he was the type to be jealous and overprotective, but you didn't think he could look like that. Like someone who was just hit with a bat or something; like a wounded puppy. You wanted to comfort him, but from the pure lack of thoughts in your mind, you knew what you said would probably come out wrong. That was, until he said something. He was so... quiet. It was normal for him to be, but... when it was these types of situations, his silence was worrying.

Shouta was heartbroken, so of course he wouldn't know what to say. He'd spend so much time with you, pining after you, loving you, and here you were, just... moving in with Hizashi? Of course his heart would ache. Why wouldn't it, when it felt like you were abandoning him so quickly?

"When... when a-are you moving in?" he finally asked. Maybe a minute had passed, but it felt more like years had because of the tension.

You cleared your throat and tried to look at him, into his eyes, but the pure sadness that greeted you when you did broke your heart to the point that you couldn't look for longer than a second.

"Um... a few days, if not next week, I believe."

Shouta sighed and bit back a sob. What the fuck? What the fuck? What was he doing wrong, that made you like Hizashi more?

"Do you... is this you choosing?"

Your eyes widened and you felt tears prick at your eyes. Now you got why he was so heartbroken. He thought you were choosing Hizashi already. Rightfully so, honestly. With you suddenly springing this on him with no other explanation, how could he not think you were already choosing?

"Oh, Shouta... of course not. This is just a... I don't know how to put it... I don't know. What I do know, though, is that I still love you very much and I wouldn't even think of choosing yet."

You weren't going to tell him that you'd already made your decision just yet. He'd want to know, and you didn't know whether you were ready to really voice your choice yet, for better or for worse.

He almost immediately seemed to relax and tears he didn't know he was holding in finally flowed out. "Thank the gods... I don't know what I'd do if you had chosen already, [Y/N]."

You forced a smile and wiped his tears away, placing soft kisses to soothe his blotchy skin.

"I love you, Shouta... so much."

Continuing to place soft, loving kisses on his skin, you climbed in his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck. You finally opted to slot your lips together in a gentle kiss.

Happiness flowed through the both of you. Yes, it was hard to go through this situation, and yes, it would be difficult to get through to the other side, but... you knew that it would end up okay. It had to.

It had to.

~*~*~

Waking up next to Shouta never ceased to make you happy. It was like pure warmth spreading from the middle of your chest all the way to the top of your head and the tips of your toes; he just made you so goddamn happy.

He was still asleep, of course, as he was always chronically tired, but you understood and had no urge to wake him. He looked so calm and peaceful while asleep, so if you got to see that face longer, you would take the chance.

You were also so grateful that you both agreed on the big issues and that he was an activist, not an antagonist. You loved that he was so loving, regardless of the fact that he didn't show it often.

You knew he loved his students and he knew it, too, but for him, showing affection to anyone (other than you) was very difficult, regardless of the fact that he was very affectionate by nature. He had confided in you long ago that he grew up touch-starved, so holding hands, hugging, and cuddling was definitely foreign but not unwanted. He loved the feeling of you against him, not even sexually, just... the intimacy of skin against skin was so cathartic to him. He always welcomed it- and you- with open arms.

You sighed and cupped his cheek softly, a small, sad smile pasted on your face.

"I'd never thought about love before... yes, I had a soulmate mark, but, I don't know... I never actually saw myself falling in love, let alone with two people... I don't want to have to choose. I want both of you. The thought of losing one just to have the other... hurts me. More than you could know. What if... what if I make the wrong choice? I don't know how I could live with myself. But... having both of you at once... I don't know. I don't know. Ugh, this is so hard..." you mumbled to his sleeping form, softly playing with his hair.

He never stirred throughout your entire speech, which you were honestly thankful for. If he had heard you... gods, that would be shitty.

"Regardless of my choice... I love you. I love you, Shouta. And... I'm in love with you, more than I can even describe... Shouta, I want to be with you forever. I love you so much, and I honestly think I always will be."

You felt tears pricking at your eyes and quickly wiped them away, not wishing to cry- whether Shouta was awake or not.

"I want to marry you, Shouta."

You took a deep breath in.

"But... I feel the same way about Hizashi. Fuck..."

You swallowed and continued, "At least I know who I'm going to choose, I guess. It's just hard to... express that. I don't want to lead [him/you] on, but, I just... I don't want to lose [him/you]."

You sighed and closed your eyes again after laying back down on the pillow, trying to fall back asleep after your emotional speech.

Oh, also, news flash:

Shouta was awake the entire time.

A/N: so! haha. merry christmas! sorry i kinda went AWOL for a bit, i just didn't know how to write this chapter, so... but um. kinda serious note here.

i've been thinking about what you guys want. i've been requested to have a poly ending from the beginning, and i've always been very adamant that i wouldn't do it, but... if it makes you guys happy, i'd be willing to do it. i don't know how i would do it, nor would i know how to write the epilogue, but i know someone who is willing to do poly (irl) so i might consult them to figure out how to write it. if any of you guys are knowledgeable of polyamory, please PM me! i need help figuring out how to write it.

anyway. i hope this was a good chapter, and i hope you will enjoy the poly ending that i write (although it may not be too good-)! i love you all!

- Sun