How Amazing // Shouta Aizawa x Fem!Reader x Hizashi Yamada (SOULMATE AU)

Chapter 19

(Shouta's P.O.V.)

"God fucking damnit," he cursed to himself, thankful you were at the store picking up stuff for dinner.

He kept replaying what you said that morning in his head over and over and over, not knowing whether to panic or be calm.

Calm was his go-to demeanor, but right now, he was everything but.

"I don't want to lead [him/you] on, but, I just... I don't want to lose [him/you]."

How was he supposed to react to that? How?

He ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm down, though it was pointless. He was going to be thinking about this for the rest of his life, or until you made your choice.

Not that he needed you to tell him. He knew who you wanted.

Now, it was the question of- should he confront you about it? Should he leave it be? There were so many thoughts racing through his head that he barely noticed, let alone registered, you walking in through the door with grocery bags in both hands.

"Shouta! I'm home!" you called.

He jumped at your loud voice. How was he supposed to act calm?

"Are you okay, babe?"

He nodded quickly (a bit too quickly) and merely said, "I've got a lot on my mind."

You swallowed and smiled, nodding yourself. "Alright. Help me bring in these groceries?"

~*~*~

Shouta absentmindedly played with your hair as the two of you watched an anime that you had put on. He wasn't really paying attention.

All he could think about was what you said. It was so nerve wracking, to know what you were thinking- he liked the mystery of it all, but how was he supposed to react now that he knew who you were going to choose?

~*~*(READ THIS IF CHOOSING SHOUTA)~*~

He should be happy! You were going to choose him, and all would be nice and fine and dandy and great.

But he couldn't stop thinking about Hizashi. He and the blond had been friends for a very long time, and the thought of him just... not existing anymore was troubling.

Of course, he was fucking thrilled you were choosing him. He wouldn't have to necessarily worry about things anymore... of course, he was going to try, but knowing that he had captured your heart fully was satisfying.

Still, though, Hizashi...

~*~*(READ THIS IF CHOOSING HIZASHI)~*~*

He could honestly already feel what people meant when they said "indescribable depression." This certain situation had only happened a handful of times, but...

The thought of you pining harder over someone else? Hell. True, utter hell.

He knew it wouldn't be long before you said who you were going to choose. He loved you, so, so much, and the thought of you loving someone other than him as much as he loved you broke him.

He just wanted you.

Honestly, if he could be perfectly transparent with you, he would tell you that he wished Hizashi never existed, despite the fact that he was one of his closest friends growing up.

~*~*~

"I'll see you later, alright?" you mumbled.

He forced a smile and nodded, leaning down to kiss you softly.

"I'll see you soon."

You left his apartment then, not really picking up on how conflicted he was- though, he was good at hiding his emotions from everyone, even you, by now. After years of forcing himself to seem calm, cool, and collected, he had grown accustomed to it.

Whatever. Not that big a deal.

It's not like he'd be overthinking what you said the entire night.

~*~*~

A/N: so. this is hella short. i'm not even gonna make excuses anymore.

this story is most definitely not one i'm proud of, and i want to finish it out, but i don't know if i have the motivation. school, along with corona, is a huge kick in the ass and trying to write for a story i have no motivation to is not helping.

however, i want to end this story because it will almost be like a weight lifted off my chest... i don't know. anyway,,,

thank you to anyone who reads this, as it's not edited (i'm too scared to ask my editor if they'll edit it bc it's been so long) and it's literally less than 600 words. anyway.

i love you all. i hope you know that.

- ...Sun