Echo Of Us • Zarry

RS 4

"So how are you, Harry? We haven't seen each other in a while."

Harry takes a deep breath and tries to give Edna a small smile. She returns it but it's all business. It's true that Harry hasn't seen his therapist in a few weeks but he's managing.

"I'm doing really well, actually, yeah," Harry settles on saying. "Everything with Lucrecia is going well, she came to London last week, we'll stay together for a while. I'm filming a new film at the moment. Yeah, things are great, I'd say."

Edna nods stoically and jots something down. Her blond bob cascades over her face in a very fascinating way. Harry didn't think the hair moved.

"Your family?" Edna inquires. "Is everything alright with them?"

"Ehm, yeah," Harry shrugs. "My mum had been watching my cat while I was in Italy so she misses her now that she's back with me. Gemma has officially met Luc the other day and mum wants to meet her too."

"Is that causing you any anxiety whatsoever?" Edna wonders. "I hope you do recall your telling me about some... concerns your mother and sister had about your previous relationship. Is there anything of the sort with Lucrecia? She does have a child already, of whom she shares custody with her ex-partner."

"No, they haven't said anything yet and I'm not particularly worried?" Harry frowns a little. "Yeah, I mean... Zayn and I are a completely different story than Lucrecia and I. We're two adults in a healthy relationship. Luc is very no bollocks type of person, she doesn't like going around stuff and just making everything difficult. It's just very very different. Gemma actually really liked Luc and they chatted all night like they were old friends and not meeting for the first time, so, yeah."

"I'm glad to hear that," Edna nods, a slight smirk on her lips. Harry still hasn't figured out what all her smirks mean. Maybe it's just a tic. "As you know, out of respect for my clients and myself, I absolutely do not read tabloids. However, a certain cover story caught my eye while I was waiting to check out at the store a couple of days ago."

"Oh no," Harry whines softly. "I promise you there's nothing bad going on with me. What are they saying now? I'll need to let my manager know."

"It's not about you per se," Edna cocks her head. "I assume you know about it already but your ex-fiancé is about to be a father."

Of course. Harry sighs deeply and barely catches himself before he rolls his eyes. "Yes, I do know about it."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Okay, you're hitting me with the classic therapy questions," Harry laughs awkwardly. Edna isn't amused. Harry sighs again. "I was pissed off a bit at first because he lied to me. He said he wasn't ready to marry but now he's ready to have a child? It's just another proof that he didn't really want me."

"That's not necessarily true," Edna remarks. Harry nearly rolls his eyes again. "Nearly a year and a half is a lot of time to mature. Perhaps it's an unplanned pregnancy. They're not married, are they?"

"No, they're not," Harry replies begrudgingly. "I still feel... betrayed. Because that was supposed to be us right now, not him and her."

"I hate to rain on your parade but neither of you can carry a child," Edna raises her brows with astronomically mild amusement.

Harry does roll his eyes now. "Fine, our surrogate, whatever. The point is, that now, we should've been married and maybe planning to have a baby. But he's doing it with someone else. Not me. He lied to me. He fucked me over."

"You're with someone else too," Edna argues. "In a pretty similar situation, no? You're fitting yourself into the role of a step-father quite snuggly."

Harry scoffs. "I didn't plan to start dating someone who already had a child."

"Well, they didn't have to plan to have a child either," Enda retorts. "You're being unfair again, Harry. Holding people to a different standard than yourself creates the exact same problems that ended your last relationship."

Harry breathes deeply through his nose. He doesn't face Edna and his eyes go to the window instead, looking down at a nondescript street in Central London he knows too well now. There's a spider making a web on the window in the September sun. Harry would love to swap places now.

"Harry?" Edna beckons him.

"I know what you mean," Harry turns to her again. "And I don't do it, I genuinely don't. I'm just upset that I wasted so many years on a relationship that ultimately lead nowhere. I fell in love with him when I was so young, just eighteen or nineteen. Then I had thought I would never see him again but there he was, right there in front of me and for three years he was all mine and I was his. I could love him freely and I believed he loved me too. I thought it was a done deal, that we would get married and be together until the day one of us died. I was so close. So fucking close. But it ultimately wasn't meant to be."

"Do you still love him?" Edna asks boldly.

Harry chuckles shortly. "I had a strange dream the other week. Just, I think, two days after Luc had come to London. It was so bloody realistic that I wasn't sure I was still alive after I'd woken up. It was so mundane. Just an ordinary day. In the dream, I woke up and the first thing I saw was an alarm clock. It was early in the morning and I felt someone holding me from the back. I remember being so happy in the dream. Just teeming with happiness and joy. So I turned around in the bed, I felt the smile on my face, like literally felt it , and it was Zayn next to me. He was asleep and I woke him up, just like I used to when we had been still together, by tracing my finger along his lips, his cheekbones, his eyes, however long it took for him to wake up. In the dream, I did the same thing. He woke up, hadn't even opened his eyes yet and he just smiled and held me so tight. We talked, but I don't remember what about. And then suddenly, I woke up. I was gasping and Luc woke up too and she was so scared something had happened. She said there were tears on my face. My heart was beating like crazy and for a split second, I thought that was the reality, the dream. But then I came to my senses and I saw Luc's face and I hugged her as hard as I could. I didn't sleep for the rest of that night. Luc did, thankfully."

Edna stops writing in her notepad. "What is that meant to tell me, Harry?"

Harry licks his lips. He bites the inside of his cheek quickly before saying, "If you think I could ever stop loving him, I think I need a new therapist."

"Oh, Harry," Edna laughs, genuinely. That's a first for her. "Of course I know that. A love like that stays with you no matter what. You needed to learn how to live with that, how to accept that there will always be love for that person that you might even hate. You spent such a huge part of your lives together. It's impossible to erase. I think you were successful with this lesson. That part of your life is in the past, even if some feelings aren't. Despite that, you love someone else too. You've moved on. You accept your past yet you're living in the present without the past hindering you."

"So that's like a figurative pat on the back from you, right?" Harry smiles. "Job well done, issues resolved."

"Not all of them, but you're doing incredibly well," Edna says. "Now, let's talk stress and time management. You said you're filming a new picture, right?"

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hiiii everyone! lesson of the day: therapy is good and important if youre dealing with some really fucked up shit. also if you run into zayn, tell him that dattumblrgal said he needs to go to therapy (and then back to harry) thank youuu!! also thank you sweethearts for reading ilysm!!! ive loved your comments!! i love the discussions!!!!! love you all!!