Wake Me Up Inside, Bring Me Back to Life. (Frerard Fanfiction)

Chapter 15~

Frank’s P.O.V. ~

I sat next to Gerard on the hospital bed; it almost hurt me to see him laying here in the hospital because of his own stupidity. He just told me that he loved me but how can he love me if he wanted to leave me?

“Gerard…why, why try and kill yourself…” I said to him distantly. He just turned away from me without a sound, there was something he wasn’t telling me, and I wanted to know what it was.

“Gerard…answer me…Why? Please, is it because of me? Did I do something Gerard, what are you hiding Gerard tell me?”

He finally turned to me again slowly, he started talking, his voice was shake and there was tears in his eyes. “Frankie…No it wasn’t you…I mean I have been keeping something from you, something you probably never would have thought about and you probably may never wanna talk to me again…”

Tears rushed down his face he looked down on the bed to avoid my eye contact. I grabbed his hand slowly, scared of what he might say, I sighed and said “What is it?”

He started to cry, I never seen him cry before so I raced up to him and hugged him tightly “Malik and I w-were a couple before…Me and him dated a year back Frankie…that’s why he had beat me up in the bathroom, because I wouldn’t take him back…because I wanted you..” He said.

Appalled, I backed away slowly and said “Malik is…GAY!?! And dated you?!?!...what are you going to tell me that you are still in love with him…”

He turned away again and whispered “I knew you wouldn’t understand…I loved him Frankie I really did, but I love you more! I swear I love you more then I will ever love Malik okay!” I sighed and grabbed his hand again, remembering what I did to Malik and how I left him, barely breathing.

“Gerard…” I said getting ready to tell him what I did.

 He looked at me and yelled “OH GOD! Please don’t tell me you hate me now! PLEASE FRANKIE I’m sorry I will never attempt suicide again NEVER AGAIN I PROM…” I cut him off;

“GERARD! Chill out okay! I got something more important than that dammit…” he looked at me confused, it kinda hurt me to think that I just yelled at him like that…I continued talking

“…I kinda sorta almost…killed Malik today afterschool…I kinda hit him with a metal bar repeatedly…to defend your honor…”

Gerard looked at me as if I was crazy or something…Oh god please don’t think I’m crazy “Frank you didn’t….Please tell me you didn’t….Please tell me your kidding right?” I shook my head slowly as I looked to the ground.

He sat up and looked down at his arm; it had stitches on it where he cut himself. “Wait, you stood up…for me???” he asked quietly.

I nodded and said “I just couldn’t see you like that and let him get away with it…I mean I love you Gerard…I love you so much and It hurt me so bad.”

 He looked back at me again and told me to come here; I got really close to his face and said in a whisper “What?”

He grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the lips, he finally kissed me and it felt like pure magic. My heart raced faster than I ever felt it go before, my eyes closed and my body released all the tenseness.

I deepened the kiss and stuck my tongue past his lips. He pulled back and smiled “Dammit Frank, you’re going to be the fuckin death of me!”

I smiled back and kissed his forehead; he brought my face towards his and said “You do know that when Malik wakes up, he is going to kill us right?”

I sighed and said “Maybe or maybe I killed him” He kissed me hard again and said “don’t play like that okay! I don’t want you to go to jail Frankie, I can live without you.”

I nodded and said “Fine, but you have to promise me…NO MORE SUICIDE ATTEMPTS!!!” He nodded his head and said “I promise!”

~

After the nurse assured me that Gerard was all patched and okay, they let him go, we walked out into the parking lot and waited for the 4’o clock bus to come, since neither of us called our parents and Gerard’s car is in his driveway.

“I’m glad to be out of that horrid place…needles freak me out he he” He said, only half kidding. I hugged his waist tightly and said in a very distant whisper “Please don’t ever go back…II was so scared Gerard…so very scared”

He picked my face up with his one finger, and brought my lips to his, slowly kissing me passionately. Our hands intertwined by our sides as he kissed me harder. My face burned red and my heart was racing out of my chest. Hesitant, he pulled back and scratched his head, he was blushing really hard.

“I guess you’re not used to me kissing you…like that right?” he said

I smiled at the fact that he noticed that very little detail about me, I kissed his cheek and said “It’s just I never really had a boyfriend…well I had boyfriend…they were just never as perfect as you…”

He blushed harder and grabbed my waist, pulling me towards him and whispering in my ear “Let’s go to your house, where it’s more private than a hospital parking lot” I smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the bus that just arrived.

~

When we walked into my house, the smell of cigarettes and weed filled our noses, I was guessing my mom was here or at least, hopefully just left. I grabbed Gerard’s hands and quietly progressed to my room, shutting the door gently just in case my mother was home.

I walked over to my bed and laid down on the edge of  it “Damn, what a night…what a week” I said rubbing my eyes. Gerard walked over to me and said in the most distracted whisper I ever heard

“Frankie…why do you love me? I-I mean don’t I appall you? Or make you want to hit me, don’t I piss you off?”

I nodded my head and stood up, he was in front of me, I looked into his eyes and I could tell he wanted a serious answer.

“Gerard, you do piss me off...because you actually thought I could live on without you. I mean that’s complete insanity man! Dude, remember the day you didn’t come to lunch? Yeah I was a frantic mess; you can ask Mikey and Ray... I was so worried about you, and when I found you I nearly cried. You’re so beautiful and amazing, and all it took was the words and abuse of an asshole to make you feel like complete shit. But you still love a man like that, I just don’t understand Gerard, I just don’t understand...so yes, we’ll let me scratch that…you don’t piss me off, your actions do, like I said before and like I’ll keep saying…I love you…I love you so much that it makes me sick with worry and jealous that you even consider Malik…”

He just stood in front of me looking down at me; his emotion was a mix of what appeared to be sadness and confusion, almost unreadable. I shook my head and sighed,

“What…” I said a getting a little P’ed off from his now lack of words.

He still just looked at me, finally he outstretched his arms and tackled me onto the bed. His body tightly onto of me made me aroused, he smelled of cinnamon for some reason and his face only inches from mine.

“Gerard what the hell?!?” I yelled, blushing from my active thoughts that are running around in my head.

“Do you really mean what you said Frankie, does Malik really make you jealous, do you really love me?” he said smiling.

My eyes open wide, as I nodded, “Yes Gee, you make my life so much better. You’ve made me realize that life is worth living and that…”

He cut me off with a hard kiss on my lips, he pressed his body against mine, sending me down on the hard mattress. He stuck both his hands under my shirt, rubbing my bare skin with his rough hands.